The Useless Thread

push and push and push...now breeeeeathe....puuuuush.....now pant...puuuush...here it comes

 

* Dub backs out from living room where Fred is dumping on a piece of newspaper in the middle of the room *

 

*Nursey,who has been outside the room busily smoking joints comes and efficiently whisks Fred's freshly laid turd away for tests*

 

Uh.....smok'em if you got'em.

 

*SPLAT!!*

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Thank god that's over with.
Sorry about the smell, everybody, but when ya gotta go...ya gotta go. And Dubya, sorry I crapped on your newspaper.

 

*comes into room with mop and bucket shakin head and cursing."Cunts still cant get it in the toilet"

 

Hah! you are so busted Nursey, you just want all Fred's shit for you to smoke yourself senseless... come on,give it up woman, hand some of that back riiiight now....

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FredVegas:
*SPLAT!!*

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Thank god that's over with.
Sorry about the smell, everybody, but when ya gotta go...ya gotta go. And Dubya, sorry I crapped on your newspaper.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

S'ok I'd already finished reading it....

 

Freeeedeeeey here u go

 

* Nursey grabs toilet roll of U.T. and attempts to light it *

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
*Nursey,who has been outside the room busily smoking joints comes and efficiently whisks Fred's freshly laid turd away for tests*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The last time my turd took a test he didn't score very high marks...I'm afraid my shit is dumb as...shit.

 

Well done Fred!!!2 pounds 4 oz!!!But i'm afraid we're going to have to keep junior in an incubator for observation due to a faint hissing sound it was emitting!

 

Call him Dubya! erm...no wait...scratch that.... dang!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Awwwwwwww...he looks just like me! I'm sooo proud

 

Awww congratulations Fred. It's a real beauty.

 

Why does Fred's turd look like a litte red cross?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dubya Dubya 2:
Why does Fred's turd look like a litte red cross?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

little red cross? Hmmm...I was wondering where that thing went. That's the last time I eat one of those, they're hell on the way out.

 

SHRIEKS! *whisks Fred's turd away for emergency resuscitation*

Phew! Thanksyou Dubya...junior might have been a gonner there you know!!!

 

Awww I see him now. he's luvverly, he's got your chin Fred....

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dubya Dubya 2:
Awww I see him now. he's luvverly, he's got your chin Fred....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And my wonderful aroma as well.