Sick Jokes

How do you simulate oral sex with a black woman?

Suck warm mayonaise thru a brillo pad.

 

oh i ad a truely memorable day to my retard buddy if u need a reference ask ur mother ciao

 

What has thousands of legs yet can't walk?


Jerry's kids

 

These jokes were originally posted on fugly approx. ten years ago. Not raggin on ya, just fyi.

 

So don't tell me you registered just to let us know this thread has gone on for "approx. ten years" now. Get a god damn calculator. You may need it.

For the rest of you sorry cock faggots (cuk fgts for that faggot slim89): solve for how many years between the two.
October 2002 through January 2009 = ????

slim89 - get a

 

Anyway, whoops. Hit a wrong fucking button. Oh fucking well.

slim89 - GET A GOD DAMN DICTIONARY. THAT IS A FUCKING REFERENCE BOOK CONTAINING AN ALPHABETICAL LIST OF WORDS WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THEM. Read it. Know it. Learn it. (That way you don't look like a god damn fool with your omglololaoasdfklj;af whatever-the-fuck you are fucking talking about)

 

Maybe your dictionary contains a few words that don't require **** in them. Using FUCK five times in one sentence appears a little sophomoric. Or sexually frustrated. Probably that.

 

Well said.

 

SEVEN & 1/4!!!!!unless you're talkin' "dog years" ...then FIFTY & 3/4!!!!

ok, so where my prize? What? No, prize? What-da-fuck! You mean I calculated on my calculator for nuthin'!

Ok so...

Three little black kidz were sittin' on the curb in front of thier house one Sunday, when one sez:
"Man, I wish my right arm was made of gold."

"Why you want 'dat 'fo", one of his friends replies.

"Cause I'd cut it off, sell it and buy me that bad ass white convertable Cadillac right over there," the first kids says as he points to a car parked across the street from them.

After a couple of minutes pass, the second kid sez:

"Man, I wish my Left arm was made of gold!"

"Why for?" a friend says.

"Well, cause I need my right arm to look cool when I'm driving", the kid sez as he demonstrates his 'gangster lean'. "So, I'd cut off da left one, sell it, then go buy me that that PIMP-assed black convertable Cadillac right over there!", the kid says as he points out the car parked behind the first.

Ten minutes or so pass, then the third kid looks both of his buddies dead in the eye and says:

"Man, I wish my WHOLE body wuz covered with Hair."

His friends give him a Gary Coleman look and both say: "What! Why you want dat fo'?"

"Well, " the third kid says.

He holds up both his hands and forms a little triangle with his fingers and says, " My sister got a patch of hair this big, and she owns BOTH those Cadillacs!"

 

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him for a drag.

 

for the guys.......

What is the difference between a 9 volt battery and a womans butthole.


Even though its wrong, you always seem to put your tongue on it.

 

thats fucked up...a joke about reeves in a wheelchair.

 

Its not like it hurt his feelings...

 

In that case...

Q: What's the worst thing about having sex with superman?

A: It's not the sex, it's all the digging you have to do to get to the prize.

 

But whats the prize? It is (or was) as dead as a limp dick dog.
Unless your a dude(or kinky female)and just go for the brown eye.
Then its all gravy. Or was that gravy?

 

That was five more fucks than I should have given. Speaking of which, FUCK YOU.

 

This place is a fucking graveyard....

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.

 

First post on this thread this year....
What's long and black?
The unemployment line

 

what to say when someones son dies:
whats your favourite vegetable, son died tomatoes?

 

so the guy rapes her?