Sick Jokes

Q. What's the definition of gross?
A. Licking the sweat off your grandpa's back as you fuck him in the ass.

Q. Whats small, brown, and spits ?
A. Baby in a frying pan

Q. What do Dale Eearnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A. Both of their last hits were The Wall.

Q. Whats the definition of disgusting?
A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny's cunt and sucking out thirteen.

Q. What`s the difference between mayonnaise and semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn`t hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

Q. What's grosser than eating your grandmother's pussy?
A. Banging your head on the coffin lid after you're done.

Q. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A. Pick him up and suck his dick Q. What do Hiroshima and Baghdad have in common?
A. Nothing . . . yet.

 

why wasnt jesus born in america?
because god couldnt find 3 wise men and a virgin. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ah ah a ha ha

 

Q. wots the difference between micheal jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with and the other is for carrying groceries

 

It says jokes not fucking morons typing bollox.

 

Q: Whats the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

A: Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon and Micheal Jackson fucks kids in the ass.

 

Q: Whats the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
A: Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon and Micheal Jackson fucks kids in the ass.

--------------------

you dumb bastard. the answer is supposed to be, one WALKS on the MOON, and the other fucks little boys.

 

Q: how do you get a nun pregnant?
A: dress her up like an altar boy.

Q: how do you stop Superman?
A: tip over his wheelchair.

Q: what's the worst thing about having sex with a vegetable?
A: putting them back in their wheelchair.

 

Two guys walk out of a house and see a dog licking its balls. one guy says "i wish i could do that." the other guy says "dont you think you should pet him first?"

 

fuck you

 

you're a faggot, now dissappear for another 6 years homo

 

for dwaine...

Q, How do you know when your sister is on her period?
A, When your dads dick tastes funny!!!!!

 

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A: Christopher Walken.

Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing her seat belt.

 

EWW

those first ones were nasty.

 

A 23 year old and his girlfriend are talking one day and she turns to him and says, "I don't think I can see you anymore."
He turns to her and says, "Well why not?"
"Because you're a pedophile."
He replies, "That's a big word for a twelve year old."

Or there is the FLDS version:
"Because you're a fundamentalist."
"That's a big word for a twelve year old."

 

A man enters a pharmacy and tells the pharmacist "I want some condoms for my ten year old daughter."
Pharmacist says "your daughter is sexually active at ten years old?"
Guy replies,"nah she just lays there crying like her fucking mother."

 

bad

 

wow your noob ass likes digging up old shit.

I was sitting here reading and thinking... wow these are all old jokes... then realized this thread started in 2002.

how do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

pick him up and suck his dick.

 

You could not be more correct. I actually got that joke from this site about 4 or 5 years ago when the format was completely different and there used to be a kick ass joke page. Mostly really sick jokes but funny none the less. The dog/suck/ joke is a classic i read that one here years ago as well. I used to tell it at parties work etc. A lot of drinks were spit up at bars as I told that joke. One of my Favorites! As I stated in another thread I am a NEWB to the forums but I have been coming to the site for more than 5 years. As I do not post anywhere else I thought I would start here. I'd be a NEWB anywhere so ithought why not be a newb at fugly as I already love the site and it seems that you peolpe in the forums are witty as hell. Anywhoo..... Thanks fo0r reminding me of a classic joke.

 

How do you make a gay baby cry?

Pull the pacifier out of his ass.

 

Now I know for certain that you are Dan.