It is so great to see youngsters getting along these days.

no I think this pic is better...

 

I hope that is not hard

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Icenhour:
no I think this pic is better...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That looks like a guy I knew from high school....marcus nimmer...gay enough name and a gay enough guy.

 

Good lord Icey, you still have a knack for making me wretch. Thank god its not another tub o' sambos though!!!!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Icenhour:
no I think this pic is better...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

oh come on icen-icen-baby... this one is much better....



with that brazen, legs-akimbo slut-slouch posture... and the slightly glazed show-me-the-money expression...
guaranteed to make cocks twitch and shatter homo hearts..

seriously tho.. i didn't realise those two relatively mild jibes i threw your way would get to you so much... sorry man.. i thought you said that syndrome thingy gave you thick skin... my mistake..

anyway.. once upon a time i would have awarded this apparent obsession you've developed for me with the scathing disdain it deserves.. but i'm getting sentimental in my old age... and if wanting to score points off my back makes you feel better about your abnormal brain.. then shoot away... you're more than welcome...

luckily for you i don't hang around anymore really... because you'll be able to kid yourself into believing that you have the ability to upset or anger me in anyway

(is it just me or has the standard in here gone into freefall? *sigh* ah well.. at least there's memories)

 

I miss yew pimp

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ross perot:
I miss yew pimp<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

aww rossalicious.. you're so adorable
*pinches cheeks .. ruffles fleece*

oh rossy... if i wasn't trying to fake a breakdown to get my rent & ground taxes paid for me i'd pay my phone bill in a heartbeat to be able to languish in here all day, licking mint sauce from your shaven ears while you flickle my nipples with your soft fluffy tail...

but after the government admitted that the state pension wouldn't be around when i retire, i decided i'm gonna do all i can to claw back the £70,000 or so i've paid in taxes in the last 10 years...

anyway.. seeing as i'm a fine physical specimen, i'll haffta fake mental problems... and i can't go round being my usual responsible (hehe) resourceful self if i'm supposed to be getting swept away by society's riptide and unable to cope....

i know.. i'll just go off and write you a wee story to make up for not being around more....

 

I remember my fingers were numb, so numb they may as well have not been there. The pain in my left shoulder and both knees was getting worse with each snowflake that fell on my freezing cold body. Freezing to death, wish that on your worst enemy, it's the most painful experience I have ever endured, the feeling you get when you first Step into a hot bath, you know, that pain that makes you recoil and utter blasphemous comments about the particular icon of whatever religion it is that you practice. Well imagine that feeling, that first tingle of pain, spreading from the outmost points of your body, (for the less educated amongst you, that would be toes, fingers, ears, etc.) and working its way in slower to all your major organs, you see, the cold settles in and consumes you even breathing, is an effort because the air around you is frozen and with every breath you take it feels like you're inhaling tiny daggers of ice.
I was rocking back and forth like a institutionalised psycho not realising, that was the thing that was draining my limited energy.
I can remember saying, "Latoe Mountain? Yes sweetheart, its a relatively easy climb for beginners, I'll be fine." and like a damn fool there I was about to meet my maker, or whatever. On a treacherous piss-hole of a ravine that didn't even have the decency to be sheltered from the harsh death-squad wind that would blow up out of nowhere just to make my pain that little bit more intolerable. What I can't remember is when the first crack started to appear. I am certain that it was around the time I looked into my bag, where my last piece of food was, a sandwich I had brought from the canteen before I'd set off for the hike, it was meat, I had told that bitch specifically, cheese and tomato, and taking into consideration that meat had never before passed my lips, as my parents are, and always have been, strict vegetarians. I suppose you could say that was the carnivore straw that broke the vegetarians back. I'll start at the beginning, because, when all hope packs its bags, and pays its bill in full. Where else can you go, but to your car.
Ahhhh the beginning even though, considering the facts, and the blatant meandering of all that cosmic shit that you read about in women’s weeklies, the beginning is merely the middle of the end. Don't be confused my compadres, I am just realising the true cycle and sequence of life. OK, here comes an admission of sorts. Confessions aren't really my strong point, not that I'm confessing to anything here, ladies and gentlemen, we all know what my motives were for doing, or aspiring to do, whatever it is I may or may not have done up until this point. And we cannot condemn a man for protecting his hypothetical investments in the future, can we? No, we can't condemn, and we certainly cannot judge him. And, I'll tell you why my heart and soul now lie weightless in my body, now that the inadequate and diseased fucks that I so kindly put out of their misery, met me and their fate. Sorry there I go jumping the gun again, where was I?
Yes Latoe, they say (not woman’s weekly this time I am talking the global THEY) that the split second before you walk towards that white light, the split second before your spirit evaporates and comes to in a another life form (as you can see I am trying to cater to everyone’s religious preferences.) The split second before you realise that your ashes will be thrown to the wind where acquaintances, rather than friends, sit comforting your Wife Whilst my relentless bitch of a mother-in-law serves sausage pastries, that she just loves to bake for her guests. OK, so that fate was what I had imagined mine to be, how can you expect optimism when one is freezing his balls off. Well I don't actually know about any of that, but when your waiting to die, or wishing as I was because the pain was, and I'm not saying this for effect, torture. Life just seems to become a small flash of existence, and the universe begins to explode, creating its own weather pattern inside your mind. It decides its course, and has to run its path.
Lets get down to specifics, I had decided to go hiking on a whim. I'd only been twice before. When I was a young boy with my father. But hasty, and decision, are my middle names. So hiking it was, Sara my trouble and strife, gets so pissed if I don't think things through, she practically has a stroke any time I forget something on a grocery list, which she, by the way, categorises. Dairy, meat, fruit etc. For the non-familiar, Sara's my wife, she's not a vegetarian, and we have been married for ten god damn years. I loved that woman, but sex once a month, with in between blow-jobs, isn't my idea of fun. I think it's a guilt thing, as long as she feels guilty for not giving me any, I can count on weekly blow-jobs. And show me a guy that would turn one of those babies down. She's not Rocky Horror either, in fact, she's quite beautiful. Its just unfortunate that the hot blood that runs
through her veins, seems to turn to ice when ever I'm around, lucky old me. Anyway regardless of her hate for the impulsive nature of her husband, she seemed happy that I was going on this hike. She packed my bag, cooked me an nice breakfast, smiling, laughing at my jokes.... WHORE. Sorry forgive my outbursts, the reason will come to light soon enough, no doubt.
Something happens to a man when he's perched, precariously, on a snowy mountainside. His broken bones,
and penis that has hibernated into his stomach, are the least of his worries. So he starts to reflect, that famous cliched fog starts to lift, and now that the fog seems to be lifting, he can see deeper inside himself than ever before. And it suddenly hits him, that his own mind is a vast undiscovered country. Imagine my horror when a man like me, Mr Jack Douglas, merchant banker, and player of golf, and other leisurely sports. Mr Me, enjoyer of fine food, and wine, and sport on TV. Jack, grateful for any sexual contact my wife would give me, hardly ever complaining, law abiding since my early twenties. Imagine the bile thick and lumpy rising up my parched and freeze dried throat. When I caught a glimpse of the raw me, that was so well hidden I might have missed him, had these affairs of mine not been in such a sorry state. He was not the Jack that had first set off on that hike. Was rescued, seventy four hours and fifty one minutes later, a broken collarbone, fractured kneecaps, and hypothermia amongst his injuries.
Just one last point I need to get across before we can crack on. I left a very precious gift for Latoe Mountain. Kind of a thank you, for putting up with my desperate, unheard pleas for help for three days. Also, for so cleverly soaking up the urine that seemed to just want to escape from my body before I died. So it wouldn't have to stay there, and dry up, or whatever it does. Sorry, rambling again. OK, the gift, wrapped with the sweet stench of piss, the brain cells that consisted of my logical and good-thought promoting mind, squeezed themselves out of my right nostril. The devils, marched out and down, over my mouth. I can remember frantically licking, to see if I could save a few. Maybe I could ingest them back in somehow. But they seemed to be made up out of a saliva resistant matter. One by slimy one, they screamed out and down, their sense of direction was stunning actually, although I didn't think this at the time. You could safely say, that I was completely freaking out. Once they had all safely assembled themselves on my shoulder, they simply, and very gracefully, jumped off. Again, this didn't appear graceful at the time. This image, actually, gave me my first proper bowel movement since I had fallen into the ravine. Tiny, coloured parasols excreted themselves. From out of what I assume to be their backs. And then they all turned around, waving at me, before melting into the snow. Don't think this is a warped mind on mountainside, this is just a mind on a mountainside. I saw all of this as clear as crystal. They bailed on me the bastards. Oh well, life's a bitch, and then you marry one.

 

oh great!.. i think i'll go watch.. pick up a few pointers.. it could be a handy tool in my insanity arsenal

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
oh great!.. i think i'll go watch.. pick up a few pointers.. it could be a handy tool in my insanity arsenal<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I am an expert pimp, just yew watch and see how the insanity commences!!!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
i know.. i'll just go off and write you a wee story to make up for not being around more....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think Ross is doing that 'curled up in the corner rocking backwards and forwards' thing now.

 

YaYYY!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
oh come on icen-icen-baby... this one is much better....



with that brazen, legs-akimbo slut-slouch posture... and the slightly glazed show-me-the-money expression...
guaranteed to make cocks twitch and shatter homo hearts..

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Fuck yeah Monchichi, just seing you looking askance at the camera with your berries hanging out causes my hetrosexuality to take a huge dip.

 

Oh the memories. How dearly I missed my friendly plumpers. Good to see they are still providing eachother with pleasure, after this year long seperation we have endured.

 

In this case, ya double the pleasure and square the fun?

 

ross, what is it with you and fat ugly niggers?