I want to register a formal complaint

Discussion in 'Complaints, Requests and Suggestions.' started by ucicare, Sep 24, 2005.

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  1. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606
    Dear Mr Fugly,

    I am very upset that the end of the world did not arrive today as advertised on your website. I feel that you have promised doom, gloom, and destruction for a week now, and have failed to deliver as promised.

    You can expect a letter from my attorney on Monday detailing my demands for settlement for the emotional distress this breach of promise has inflicted on me.

    It is my hope that we can settle this matter privately, thus avoiding the expense and embarrassment of public litigation.

    Sin sneerly,

    Barry
     
    ucicare, Sep 24, 2005
    #1
  2. Fugly

    Fugly Administrator Staff Member Fugly Staff

    Messages:
    1,143
    Dear Mr. Swopes,

    The views expressed in this or any other post in the Fugly Forums are those of the individual participant and do not reflect the views or opinions of any employee, agent or associate of FUGLY.COM, INC.

    This information is provided "AS IS" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement.

    Any links to other Internet sites ("hyperlinks") are included as a convenience for our visitors and FUGLY.COM, INC. assumes no liability for the content or the presentation of linked sites.

    FUGLY.COM, INC. assumes no liability for any errors or omissions in the content of the Site. FUGLY.COM, INC. is engaged in an ongoing process of updating and revising the materials on this Site. FUGLY.COM, INC. further reserves the right to withdraw any image, text, or data from the Site at its sole discretion at any time. FUGLY.COM, INC. assumes no liability for any damages or losses that may occur to you or any third party based on its actions. In the event that the Site is unavailable, either on a temporary or permanent basis, FUGLY.COM, INC. assumes no liability for any losses that may occur to you or any third party arising out of the unavailability of the Site.

    FUGLY.COM, INC. assumes no responsibility, and shall not be liable for, any damages to, or viruses that may infect, your computer equipment or other property on account of your use of the Site or your downloading of any materials from the Site.

    FUGLY.COM, INC., ITS AFFILIATES, TRUSTEES, DIRECTORS, OFFICERS AND EMPLOYEES, AND OTHER AGENTS AND REPRESENTATIVES SHALL HAVE NO LIABILITY FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, COMPENSATORY, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES (EVEN IF WE HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES) ARISING OUT OF OR RELATING TO THE USE OF THIS SITE. YOUR USE OF THE SITE IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK.

    Kind regards,

    Martin P. Felcher esq.
     
    Fugly, Sep 25, 2005
    #2
  3. Fugly

    Fugly Administrator Staff Member Fugly Staff

    Messages:
    1,143
    Dude, can you beleive I just totally made all of that up? How good does all of that sound?

    And I'm drunk too.

    I'd be like.. a fucking SUPER-LAWYER, don't you think?
     
    Fugly, Sep 25, 2005
    #3
  4. Schmed

    Schmed New Member

    Messages:
    4,009
    HHAHAHAHAHA that was prety good, but i'm drunk too so what do i know.....
     
    Schmed, Sep 25, 2005
    #4
  5. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    that could be your niche, "Martin Felcher LLP, Drunkard" you only goto court wasted
     
    Dwaine Scum, Sep 25, 2005
    #5
  6. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

    Messages:
    2,487
    Looks like it was stolen off Microsoft dot com.

    Dr. Reizvolles PhD, BA, BE, BS, LLB
     
    Reizvolles, Sep 25, 2005
    #6
  7. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606

    I am so disappointed. I was sure I would at least get a settlement offer.

    Damn lawyer wannabe. This is AMERICA. You are supposed to make a token offer and settle out of court to avoid the embarrassment and expense of litigation.

    I'll settle for a gift cetificate to Dunkin' Donuts. That is my final offer.

    Barry


    Barry
     
    ucicare, Sep 25, 2005
    #7
  8. Fugly

    Fugly Administrator Staff Member Fugly Staff

    Messages:
    1,143
    Yeah but when you've got nothing to lose, whadda you have to lose?
     
    Fugly, Sep 26, 2005
    #8
  9. Fugly

    Fugly Administrator Staff Member Fugly Staff

    Messages:
    1,143

    No, it wasn't.
     
    Fugly, Sep 26, 2005
    #9
  10. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606
    Dear Dr. Reizvoilles,

    Since it is apparent that Mr Fugly is penniless, I will now focus my money quest on you. Expect a letter from my attorney detailing my demands for settlement for the malpractice claim I am filing.

    I cleary detailed to you my list of ailments, and requested your professional medical intervention. To date, no prescription has arrived, nor have I receive instruction from you. This is malpractice, and I will accept no less than ONE FULL DOZEN donuts as compensation.

    My patience is running out. Your immediate attention to this issue is expected.

    Barry
     
    ucicare, Sep 26, 2005
    #10
  11. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

    Messages:
    2,487
    Maybe not, but I think you must have been reading too many ELU's and disclaimers!
     
    Reizvolles, Sep 26, 2005
    #11
  12. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

    Messages:
    2,487
    EUL's I mean. End License User? Geeez, I need booze.
     
    Reizvolles, Sep 26, 2005
    #12
  13. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

    Messages:
    451
    But what kind of booze? Personally I like gin. It's good for you and it actually makes your penis bigger.
     
    Ministersf, Sep 27, 2005
    #13
  14. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

    Messages:
    2,487
    Ooooo I need a bigger penis! I am a vodka drinker.
     
    Reizvolles, Sep 27, 2005
    #14
  15. DangerousDan

    DangerousDan New Member

    Messages:
    1,630
    Actually drinking lots of alcohol shrinks your testicles, decreases testosterone therebye giving you man tits otherwise known as gynecomastia among other bad shit. I drink heavy sometimes. I just try to space it out so I cut down on the damage.
     
    DangerousDan, Sep 28, 2005
    #15
  16. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

    Messages:
    2,487
    Dan has moobs?
     
    Reizvolles, Sep 28, 2005
    #16
  17. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    Reiz, when are we getting married?
     
    Dwaine Scum, Sep 28, 2005
    #17
  18. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606
    It takes great courage to admit tnat you have large man tits and that your balls have dried on the vine. And then to admit that you have a drinking problem....man, that takes guts.

    Thanks for sharing, Dan. Your courage has inspired me.

    Barry
     
    ucicare, Sep 28, 2005
    #18
  19. DangerousDan

    DangerousDan New Member

    Messages:
    1,630
    I think it's pretty obvious who has the man tits. I am in a state of extreme phyiscal fitness no man tits here. I think we are all pretty aware that you however could probably breast feed a family of five with just a little estrogen. Could come in handy if you are ever ship wrecked on a deserted island with five of your closest friends assuming one of them is on estrogen replacement therapy.
     
    DangerousDan, Sep 28, 2005
    #19
  20. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606

    Good try Dan.

    You were once in special Ed classes, right?

    Barry
     
    ucicare, Sep 28, 2005
    #20
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