Damn when did I get so fucking old!!

There's no fluoride in our tapwater

 

Definitely. We chatted on FB messenger for hours and were great shoulders for each other to sound off to, for me during those sleepless nights after we lost Alice and when Jack was gestating, for him when his Kat died and his stepdad.
When Jiffy messaged me with the news I checked my messenger chatlog with him, and saw, to my dismay that he'd tried to get in touch a year or so ago, but I'd not had any insomniac episodes for a long time and never got round to getting back to him.
Quite a few times I'd talked him down from seeking solace in self destruction, and wonder if that was one of those times.

C'est la vie

 

Well, glad the midlife crisis paid off! One question...just out of curiosity...do you ever miss me? Just one word - "yes" or "no"?

 

For the record, I don't miss you. I don't even know you - mate. I do, however, still note the absence of the guy that was constantly by 'my side' (physically or long distance), professing his undying love for a whole eleven years of my life, before his sudden slithering off into the undergrowth. The person who I endured over a decade of an emotionally torturous long distance relationship to be with due to his constant moving of goal posts and convincing persuasiveness. The person I suffered most for and made the most sacrifices for, because, after a string of failed relationships, had been the only person to have ever made me feel loved back. Yeah - that guy. I'd be a cold blooded, emotionless reptile if I didn't. For a long time, we were completely intertwined. Unfortunately, due to the long distance nature of our relationship with all the continuous absences, the lack of any closure has translated (subconsciously) into the sense that nothing has actually ended - that this is just a particularly long wait between visits. Imagine - what a cruel fate to inflict upon someone who cared about you very deeply, just because you are a cowardly, chancing, wee git! Make all the excuses you like, reinvent yourself all you like, but there is no getting away from the fact that you did that and that that is, therefore, who you are. Bolting like a cowardly 15 year old, scared to face up to your responsibilities. Again. It doesn't matter how many wild oats you go sowing around Lancashire, or how much adulation you garner from your newly "upgraded" persona, until you quit running and hiding from your problems, shirking your responsibilities, then you are just a flimsy fucking joke of a man. A jumped up wee manchild masquerading as a solid pillar of the community. You can't just gloss over these things, as you should have realised after the first *grand deceit* you perpetrated in your life.

 

Still occasionally visit my old haunt. Wonder how many of us are still alive, how many have overdosed. I made half a century which I've very surprised at especially because of my addictive personality. Far too many drugs, drink and bad behaviour but still going strong. Hope the rest of you weirdos are still fighting the good fight. Never get to old to misbehave. Xx

 

Wow.

I actually did miss you, a fucking lot (still do really) But I just discovered I had a 21 year old daughter that I'd missed out on the whole life of, and you asked me to write you an essay explaining the situation.

Then when I switched my phone off for a couple of hours to work on our prototype heat recovery system, because you wouldn't stop calling me, as I was going to be late to the train, I switched it back on to hundreds of missed calls, texts, and emails.
Part of those messages had you looking into my daughter's family's Facebook pages, and calling them "chavs"... And yes they are.. I live in one of the most deprived towns in the UK... But I had to approach a relationship with my daughter without any prejudice or preconceived notions, as I had no part whatsoever in her upbringing... So you, being negative, about her, and with it being such a mentally negative situation, I had to cut you out. Doing so broke me.
I've rebuilt myself. It's taken time, and I now have to accept I'm a nearly 50 year old man, as I almost died on jack's birthday in 2021, and it's taken a lot of harsh lessons from life to learn fast, as I've got a son to raise into this world that's changing for the worst.

I hope your philosophy degree went well. My work stuff is going well. The prototype I was working on way back then has become something that's less cobbled together, and more a standardised system, and is being rolled out, saving lots of energy in restaurants, though to be honest it pays the bills and will hopefully give me a retirement, as we can't rely on the state pension anymore, and I'd rather be walking the hills round here chomping on mushrooms like I did during lockdown.

Take care chooch x

 

Well I talk to lomo, have interaction with ucicare, have been blocked by nauseous (I asked if she hated her kid too ... She'd become militant vegan) I'm pretty sure Jefe is alive cos he checked in when I was in hospital Xmas before last, IMC disappeared off the face of the planet, not long after cashing in millions in bitcoin, cheezedawg died though. That hurt cos he was chatting with me though some harsh struggles, and I keep turning off messenger notifications, so didn't see him messaging me.

 

This thing is broken

 

Oh, and I'll probably be spending a few nights in craigleith later this year. Our latest iteration of the heat recovery system will be getting trialled in the new Nandos up there.
It starts on site around June, but I'll be there around July or so to check on the install, and to troubleshoot, commission etc.

This will be that holy grail of restaurant heating/cooling etc etc.

If you want to meet up and grab a coffee and have a chat and get some kind of closure, I'm happy to do so.

I'm not gonna come in here checking on replies, but I'm on the same emails and phone numbers. I'm pretty easily contactable if you know my name etc. My address is on Companies House

 

Greetings, old farts. I'm still kicking. Have stayed in contact with a few from here, not too many, keep getting banned/cancelled for shitposting and having to make new FB accounts, seem to lose a few contacts each time.

 

Watched a video that referenced Rotten.com and got me thinking about this old hell hole. Shocked it is still up and kicking. Seems to be mostly bots these days tho.