NEVER say an unkind word about Kevin Smith. I'm hoping he makes fat dudes more mainstream. Then I can be a HPOA.
I'd say just shoot it with a pellet or BB gun. You only have to use it once and the fucker will never come back. Any repellents don't really work. The asshole will just step around it or take a shit on your doorstep to get even with you. I had a neighbor that denied the two cats shitting in my flower bed were his. I saw him letting them inside, though, and he'd feed them so they were basically his. I went to the local animal shelter, got a trap and baited it with tuna. When I caught the useless creatures I took them right down to the shelter where I'm sure they were promptly put down. A couple weeks later he asked me about the cats and I told him the last time I saw them was when I was taking them to the shelter. The look on his face was priceless.
