Hey Dub, you are like my second or third closest friend in the world. I was even planning on asking you to lend me some money soon. Did I miss something? I even defended your masculinity. What more can a friend do? Barry
The only thing you missed Bob was the point. We're all different and sometimes some of us aren't comfortable being with people. Isolation can't be defined as a physical trait, you may have a 1000 friends and a family the size of Poland, but if you're alone in your head, you are simply alone.
BTW, I'm a happy little fucker...Not that the post above would lend itself to that belief. *voice in head says 'nice one son'
You must know about the experiments done by Harry Harlow where 6 hour old monkeys were seperated from their mothers and were 'reared' by artificial surrogates, one a wire monkey offering a bottle of milk, the other a cloth monkey with no nourishment? Is this how you were raised, Nauseous? :?
I see now. This forum is a way to avoid isolation maybe? I think that is why I like it. To me Isolation means not communicating or interacting with others in any way. You are very sociall and interactive on this forum, so I would not say that you are Isolated. A little withdrawn maybe, but not isolated. Big difference. I am becoming more the same. FYI- I really am Barry, not Bob. I was making a joke about the picture on the back of the book. I only write that well in my dreams. I worked for a very short time (two weeks) as the treatment coordinator for Alabama's death row. (Holman Prison). That is when I read the book wriiten by Hare. I left after two weeks because I could not tell the difference between the guards and the inmates. The guards were so brutal, I actually felt safer with the inmates. Imagine a job that requires you to help a condemned man maintain his sanity until he can be executed. Nice. Off early this week. Weekend recovery starts tomorrow. Ho! Ho! Ho! Barry
Nursey, Please humor me for a minute on this. My obsession in life is attachment research. I do a lot of work with foster care, and I see "primary attachment disruptions" as a huge issue. You posted a principle of attachment theory in another thread - "That which a baby drinks in his mother's milk will vanish only in the grave." -- Arabian Proverb Erik Erikson's developmental theory ia based on that too. I strongly believe that first year experiences stick with us forever, and are nearly impossible to change by current psychotherapy methods. When Jesus said "marvel not, you must be born again, " could he have known that we have to "start over" in some way in order to be truly mentally healthy? Just a thought. Attachment Theory and Therapy is controversial, and is highly criticized by the Phsychiatric Community and by the Religious Community (Which gives it great credibility in my view) Click here if you want to read more. http://www.attachmenttherapy.com/ Barry
Edited. From Fugly: A series of incredibly moronic posts that have nothing at all to do with the topic, including this last one: Some idiot I guess. Maybe he should be less of a hypoctritical prick. That guy sucks for being so non-serious in this ultra serious discussion about your failed parenting.
Whipone, if you would read the entire thread in context, you would not look so stupid with your replys. You remind me of many people that I know who are reasonably intelligent, but completely lack depth. My advice to you.....wear a life jacket if you every decide to swim in the deep end of the pool. .... and blaming my daughters illness on "failed parenting" makes about as much sense as crediting "good parenting" with preventing the onset of diabetes. The stench of your stupidity makes me gag. Barry
Barry, it is not your fault as you obviously know, and anyone that has not dealt with BPD directly, i.e. you yourself have it our a close loved one has it (such as a son/daughter or significant other), should probably not open their mouths about it anyhow, as a text book cannot define it truley, it is not an easy thing to live/deal with . It is a very serious thing and it will never just "go away". I honestly wish you and her the best and just ignore the idiotic comments that get posted your way (though this forum may not of been the best place to bring up this partiular dilema of yours), my sincere best wishes go out to her.
Schmed, I can appreciate that this forum may not be a good place to discuss this personal thing, but remember that my other options are dozens of friends and family members who live in ALABAMA and still think that 100 is the top of the IQ scale. This forum has several really intelligent and progressive thinkers in it (of which company I include you). I just valued the opinion and support of people who are not "snotty little socialites of meager intellectual resources" as are most of the folks I live with. Thanks for being able to be an unbearable asshole and a supportive friend at the same time. That is a wonderful gift, and I value you for it. Whipone should take a few lessons. Barry
This is Fugly.com, but this particulatr area is reserved for just being serious, its not too much to ask really, go be an assclown (i know i will) in the area that has been here forever. Let's rs[pect this area. MOst of the jackassed posts that have been made in coldorum really are , well typical, and not at all in the spirit of this area. Let's not anger Martin to say the least, he drinks my booze when he is pisse, so I get sad too then...
Schmed summed it up nicely there. There are four other forums where you can feel free to act like a complete asshole if you want to. I was hoping that this one would be used for more serious topics and that they wouldn't deteriorate to name calling and dick-jokes like the others always do. Please try to stay on topic in here, that's really all I ask.
Just thought i'd mention, my obscure post with the picture of monkeys emerging from my anus etc was in response to ucicare apologising to me (though he posted again without me realising just before). I think that the odd, brief humourous departure from the subject at hand is natural (and is a little light relief from the seriousness), and won't cause any significant disruption providing it's not just totally random and out the blue, or is hijacked by people just looking for any chance they can get to drag the whole mentality down to one they can cope with, i.e. shit-slinging and macho posturing. When people who are genuinely interested in the discussion have a few fun exchanges, it wont be to a degree that usurps the thread, and they will be naturally inclined to steer it back on course themselves. I think that having things too rigid isn't beneficial for the mental health of the forum and that most of the people that contribute here have enough intelligence to be flexible without it descending into a moronic, senseless squalor.
Well said Nursey. You are describing a concept called "Gallows Humor". The idea that intensely serious things can be more tolerable with a humorous break occasionally. If people would read along and not start in the middle, it would help. I liked the graphic. That said, I'm back at your feet.:wink: Barry
Thanks guys. Have been enjyoing reading this and got a bit upset when I saw this place going down hill. Thanks to Schmed and Fugly for being gentlemen I know I don't say much lately. Mostly because I have been very depressed and suicidal (remember, this is serious so no making fun) the past few weeks. And I'd like to give props to Barry for starting this subject. It's a subject rather close to my heart so I can read this and understand what's going on. I am not a political person, so I stay right away from those sort. Our political system in Australia is so much different to yours anyhow. I'm a chathloic-born athiest, so I have no religious beliefs. But human-intrest type stuff does intrest me so .. Well done to Fugly for this forum, and well done to all those that have contributed. - Brooke