Knee-Grow Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by Dwaine Scum, May 26, 2001.

  1. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    Of corse we dont condone thses jokes, but we put them up as a reminder that racism hurts (god I feel like Pink or brown saying that)

    Q: Why don't NIGGERS like country music?
    A: Every time they hear ho-down, they think their sister got shot.

    Q: Why are NIGGERS eyes red after sex?
    A: It's from the mace.

    Q: How do we know that Adam and Eve were not BLACK?
    A: Have you ever tried to take a rib away from a NIGGER?

    There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
    A White family lives on the top floor.
    A Mexican family lives on the second floor
    A BLACK family lives on the bottom floor.
    At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrible tornado hits the building,
    totally destroying it. Which family lived?

    The White family because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

    Two Georgia State Troopers are on duty watching for speeding truckers on the interstate. These 2 troopers hate truckers. They become bored and pull in behind a truck. The driver is hauling a load of bowling balls. He gets nervous with the cops behind him and pulls off onto a side street to see if the troopers will follow. On the side street, a little BLACK kid standing in the street with a bicycle stops the truck to ask for a ride. The driver says OK, but you have to get in the trailer in back. The little boy and his bike are now in the trailer. The driver says to himself, Well those troopers have gone by now, I'll get back on the highway. After a few minutes on the highway the troopers pull in behind the truck and stops him. The troopers give the driver a real hard time, they check his license, log book, etc. The troopers start to get back in their car when one says to the other, "We didn't check out the trailer, maybe we should." The one trooper says to the other, "OK, I'll take care of it." He goes
    back to the driver and tells him he wants the trailer doors opened. The driver thinks to himself, Now I'm really in trouble, they're going to think I kidnapped that little BLACK kid.

    The trooper opens the trailer door to look in and slams it shut quickly! The trooper is all pale and shaken and starts screaming to the trucker, "Go NOW!, Get out of my city! Get out of my county! Get out of my state! GO NOW!" When the trooper returns to his car the other trooper asks, " what's wrong? You look pale and your shaking, why didn't we harras that trucker some more?" The shaken trooper said," That truck was carrying a load of BLACK eggs, one done hatched and stole a bicycle!!!!!!"

    Q: What is the American dream?
    A: All the BLACKS go back to Africa with a Jew under each arm!

    A ship sinks and the only survivors are a Russian, a Jamaican, a skinhead and a NIGGER. At sea for days, they finally come within sight of land. The Russian opens a hidden bottle of Stoli vodka, takes one swig and throws the remainder of the bottle into the water much to the other passengers dismay. The Russian explains that where he comes from, there is plenty of Stoli, it is worth nothing and means nothing. The Jamaican then proceeds to light a huge blunt, takes one hit, and then throw the remainder to sea explaining, 'Mon, in my country we have plenty of marijuana, it is worth nothing, means nothing.' So then the White man from New Jersey throws the NIGGER into the water!

    Q: What qualifies as good behavior in a Harlem school?
    A: Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.

    Q: What happens every time a NIGGER gets an abortion?
    A: Crime Stoppers sends her a check for $500.

    Q: What do you call a NIGGER at a skinhead rally?
    A: Soon to be an ex-NIGGER.

    Q: What do you say to a BLACK man in uniform?
    A: I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke.

    Q: What is a NIGGERS favorite anti-perspirant?
    A: Unemployment.

    Q: How can you spot a BLACK masochist?
    A: He's the one working for a living.

    Q: Did you hear about the BLACK version of "Shogun"?
    A: It's called Shonuff.

    Q: What do poor BLACK kids use instead of Play-Doh ?
    A: Fresh dog shit.

    Q: Did you hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
    A: You put it on the front of your car.

    Q: How do you get a BLACK kid to take a shower?
    A: Open a fire hydrant, and start selling crack on the other side.

    Q: How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most NIGGERS?
    A: He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

    Q: Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for NIGGERS?
    A: It comes in a spray can.

    Q: What do you call a NIGGER in a freezer ?
    A: Tough Shit



    Q: What's the difference between good NIGGER kids and bad NIGGER kids?
    A: Good NIGGER kids are in medium security prisons.

    Q: How do you starve a NIGGER?
    A: Hide the food stamps and welfare checks under a bar of soap.

    Q: What is the most common form of transportation in Harlem?
    A: Ambulances.

    Q: Did you hear about the NIGGER and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
    A: It's called Nacho Mama.

    Q: What do you call 100 parachuting NIGGERS?
    A: Skeet.

    Q: Why did all the NIGGERS die in Vietnam?
    A: When the sergent said Get down!, they got up and started dancing.

    Q: What did the NIGGER kid get for Christmas?
    A: My bike.

    Q: What do you call a BLACK-midget in Ireland?
    A: A lepra-COON.

    Q: What are the six words you never ever want to hear from a NIGGER?
    A: Hi, I be yo' new neighbor.

    Q: How is transportation being improved in Harlem?
    A: They're planting the trees closer together.

    Q: Why do NIGGERS call white people "honkies"?
    A: That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.

    Q: How was break dancing invented?
    A: By BLACK kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars.

    Q: Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many NIGGERS?
    A: California had first choice.

    Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by three NIGGERS?
    A: A victim.
    Twenty NIGGERS?
    A: Coach
    200 NIGGERS?
    A: Warden

    Q: What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist?
    A: A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time.

    Q: What's green and pink and purple and orange?
    A: A NIGGER dressed for church.

    Q: What is the New York State motto?
    A: Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a NIGGER in Central park.

    Q: What do you say to a NIGGER in a three-piece suit?
    A: Will the defendant please rise.

    Q: Why don't NIGGERS celebrate Thanksgiving.?
    A: Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) isn't open on holidays.

    Q: Did you hear about the NIGGER with insomnia?
    A: He kept waking up twice a week.



    Q: What do NIGGERS say during foreplay?
    A: If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!

    If Tarzan and Jane were BLACK, what would Cheetah be?
    The brains of the outfit.

    Q: What is eight miles long and has an I.Q. of 68?
    A: The Martin Luther King Day parade.

    Q: How do you stop five NIGGERS from raping a white woman?
    A: Throw them a basketball.

    Q: What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school?
    A: How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

    Q: Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem?
    A: Cats keep trying to bury the baby NIGGERS!

    Q: Did you hear about the new perfume for BLACK women?
    A: It's called Eau de doo dah day.

    Q: Why are so many NIGGERS moving to Detroit?
    A: They heard there were no jobs there.

    Q: What is white yet has a BLACK asshole?
    A: The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.

    Q: What does cotton have in common with noses?
    A: NIGGERS are good at picking both.

    Q: What do you call a conversation between Jesse Jackson and James Brown?
    A: Gibberish

    Q: Why was the wheelbarrow invented?
    A: To teach NIGGERS to walk on their hind legs.

    Q: What is printed on all African products?
    A: Untouched by human hands.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead NIGGER in the road?
    A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

    Q: How many NIGGERS does it take to roof a building?
    A: Ten, if you slice them thin enough.

    In each corner of the room stands an ambitious NIGGER, a sharp witted Irishman, the tooth fairy, and a guy with no legs. A thousand dollar bill is dropped in the middle of the room. Who get to it first? The guy with no legs, of course! After all, theres no such thing as the tooth fairy!

    Q: Why do all NIGGERS go to heaven?
    A: Hey, theres bars to tend and toilets to clean there too!

    A white man was walking along the beach one day when he happened upon a bottle. When he opened it, a genie popped out and said, "Hey!" The man replied, "you're a genie, right?" "Yes," said the occupant of the bottle. "I'm a genie. What about it?" "Well," the man says, "you're supposed to grant me three wishes, right?" "NO!" says the genie. "That ended centuries ago. I don't do that anymore. I'm retired now. Just put me back on the bottle and drop me back on the beach where you found me." "Awwww..c'mon!" persisted the man. "Grant me a wish!" "Oh...all right!" the genie rolled his eyes. "You get one wish...and ONE WISH ONLY! And it had BETTER be exactly what you want because it WILL come true!" The man was ecstatic. He scratched his head, thought about it for a while, and finally whispered something in the genie's ear. "Okay," said the genie. "Your wish will come true at nine o' clock tomorrow morning! Now put me back in the bottle!" "Great!" the man said. He put the genie back on the beach and went home. He got a good night's sleep, called his girlfriend and asked her to come over, took a nice long hot shower..... At exactly 9:00 AM, the doorbell rang. The man opened it to find three Skinheads standing at his door each holding an arm of rope, eyeing him suspiciously. "Tell us," one finally said. "Are you the guy who wanted to be hung like a NIGGER?"

    Q: What did God say when he made the first NIGGER?
    A: Oh, Shit!

    Q: What did the little BLACK kid say when Santa Clause came down the chimney saying, "Ho ho ho!"?
    A: Where's ma mamma, mutha phucka?



    An out of state hunter walks in to a small diner in Alabama. The waitress seats him and takes his order. She then asked if he was a hunter. The man replied yes I am. After the waitress brought his order she asked if he had shot his two NIGGERS yet. The man was stunned and asked what she was talking about. She then explained that the state legislature decided that there were too many NIGGERS and decided that anyone with a valid hunting license could shoot two NIGGERS that year. Well the hunter paid no attention to it and went on with his business. Later on at the sporting goods store the cashier asked if he had shot his two NIGGERS yet. The man paid no attention to it again and left the store headed for the field. As he was driving down the road he noticed a group of NIGGERS picking watermelons in a field. He thought to himself what the hell it's only a couple of NIGGERS. So he stopped got out of his truck, took aim shot twice and nailed two of the NIGGERS. All of the sudden here came the game warden with
    his lights and sirens on. And the hunter thought oh shit what have I done. The game warden got out of his truck and said what the fuck do you think you are doing. So the hunter explained what he had been told and the game warden said you can shoot two NIGGERS with a valid hunting license but not over a baited field.

    Q: Why do NIGGERS wear white gloves?
    A: So they don't bite off their fingers when they're eating Tootsie Rolls!

    Q: Why are BLACK men hung better then white men?
    A: Because little white boys had toys to play with!

    Q: What do BLACK pimps and farmers have in common?
    A: They both need a hoe to stay in business!

    Q: Why do NIGGERS keep their fists closed when making the "BLACK power" sign?
    A: If they held out an open palm, they'd fall out of the trees!

    Q: What do you call sex with a BLACK man?
    A: Rape!

    Q: What do you call a NIGGER with no arms?
    A: Trustworthy.

    Q: Why does the Hartz Mountain Tick Collar come in flourescent colors?
    A: So COONS can wear costume jewelery, too!

    Q: Why don't NIGGERS take aspirin?
    A: Because it's white, it works, and they're too proud to pick the cotton out of the bottle!

    Q: What do you call a white woman who dates a BLACK man?
    A: Color blind!

    Q: Why do BLACK women have such big purses?
    A: To carry their lipstick.

    Q: What's a BLACK mermaid?
    A: A carp with tits.

    There's a NIGGER, a Canadian and an American on top of one of the sears towers. The American says to the NIGGER, "I bet you I can jump off of here and hit the wind current just right - floating softly to the ground." The NIGGER looks amazed at the American. "I dont be leave it sucka, ya fuckin wit me aint ya?" the NIGGER says. So the American says, "Ok, Ill prove it to you." The American leaps off the building and floats all the way down. Once down, he runs all the way up the stairs to the Canadian and the NIGGER. "See, I told ya NIGGER... now you give it a try." "Okay," the NIGGER says as he leaps off the building. "SPLAT!" the NIGGER is splattered all over the side walk. The Canadian looks over at the American and says "You know Superman, sometimes you can be pretty mean."

    Q: Why was the NIGGER acquitted of the rape charge on the grounds of temporary insanity?
    A: Because when he got an erection, there was no blood left to flow to his brain!

    Q: What do NIGGERS and sperm have in common?
    A: Only one in two million work!

    Q: What do you say to Mike Tyson with no arms or legs?
    A: Hey NIGGER!

    A little yellow chinaman was standing by the sea one day skipping flat stones across the water. As each stone skipped across the water it made the sound, "chin - chang - chung". The chinaman did this several times, "chin - chang - chung, chin - chang - chung". As the chinaman was skipping these stones, a BLACK man came up and asked him "Yo, li'l yello-man, Wha'dup? Wha' you doin' wit' dem stones?" The chinaman replied, "I using these stones to find my ancestors, my father chin, my grandfather chang, and my great-grandfather chung."
    The BLACK man thought a little and said, "Think I could do dat 2?" The chinaman told the BLACK man to try. The BLACK man picked up an rock and threw it into the water - "Kersplash" was the sound it made.
    "No, No, you do it wrong!" said the chinaman, "you must skip the stone." Then the china man proceeded to demonstrate, "chin - chang - chung".
    The BLACK man said, "I see how yer doin' it now. Le'me try again." He picked up another flat stone and flung it into the water. It skipped across the water magnificently and as it did it made the sound, "Chim - pan - Zee".
    The now infuriated BLACK man ran over to a large boulder, picked it up and slammed it onto the ground making a thunderous "BAB-BOON!!!!!!!!" sound that echoed for miles!

    Q: Why do decent white folk shop at BLACK yard sales?
    A: To get all their stuff back, of course!

    Q: Do you know why flies have wings?
    A1: So they can beat the NIGGERS to the watermelons.
    A2: So they can get away from the NIGGERS.

    Q: Why did the NIGGER run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob?
    A: He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.



    Q: What do you call three NIGGERS sitting in a garden?
    A: Fertilizer.

    Q: What's the difference between a pothole and a NIGGER?
    A: You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?

    Q: How do you get twelve NIGGERS in a Volkswagen?
    A: Toss a welfare check in the back seat.

    Q: How do you get 400 NIGGERS in an Escort?
    A: I don't know, but they figure it out.

    Q: What do you call three NIGGERS at a skinhead barbeque?
    A1: Charcoal.
    A2: Kentucy Fried NIGGER

    Q: How do you make a NIGGER nervous?
    A: Take him to an auction.

    Two flies were having a race across a NIGGERS lips. After each had won one race, they decided to run a tie breaker. Panting, the one fly reached the finish line, only to discover his friend had already arrived with time to spare. "How did you do that?" he inquired. "I took a shortcut around his head."

    Q: Why don't NIGGERS stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
    A: Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.

    Q: What do you call two NIGGER motorcycle cops?
    A: Chocolate Chips.

    Q: Why do NIGGERS always have sex on their minds?
    A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.

    Q: Why don't sharks attack NIGGERS?
    A: They mistake them for whale shit.

    Q: How do you wipe out 250 ape families?
    A: Blow up Kmart.

    A NIGGER, a Jew and a spic get shoved off a building at the same time, which one hits pavement first?
    Who cares.

    Q: What's the difference between BLACK pussy and a bowling ball?
    A: You can eat a bowling ball.

    Q: Why do NIGGERS tint their car windows?
    A: They don't, it's the black rubbing off.

    There's three guys sitting around a campfire; a yuppie, a NIGGER, and a cowboy. The yuppie is drinking Michelob, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "This is the Life!" The NIGGER is drinking Miller, jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "Taste great!" The cowboy is drinking Old Milwaukee, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the NIGGER in the head and says, "This is the way it was meant to be!!"

    Q: How do you get all the NIGGERS out of your neighborhood?
    A: Hide all the good cardboard boxes.

    Q: How do you get a NIGGER to commit suicide?
    A1: Toss a bucket of KFC into traffic.
    A2: End welfare.

    Q: Why do BLACK girls dye their hair blonde and wear blue contacts?
    A: So BLACK MEN will date them.

    A white guy goes into a doctors office and tells the doctor, I want to be a Pollock. The doctor says, "We'll have to cut out 25% of your Brain", so the white Guy says, "Sounds fine.". After the operation the doctor says, "I have some bad news for you, I accidentally cut out 50% of your brain instead of 25%.", so the patient says, "Yo Bizotch, what I be now homeboy?".

    Q: What do you call a BLACK Frenchmen?
    A: Jacques Custodian

    A cowboy, an Indian, and a BLACK man are sitting at a bar. the Indian turns to the BLACK man and says, "We once were many but now we're few". the BLACK man replies, "We once were few but now we're many". the cowboy over hears all this and says to the black man, " That's because we haven't played cowboys and NIGGERS yet".

    Q: What do you do if a NIGGER is drowning?
    A: Take your foot off his head

    Q: What do you call 1 million NIGGERS on the moon?
    A: Problem
    Q: What do you call 10 million NIGGERS on the moon?
    A: Bigger problem
    Q: What do you call all the NIGGERS in the world on the moon ?
    A: Problem solved

    Q: Did you hear of the new BLACK Barbie?
    A: It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check .

    Q: What does NAACP stand for?
    A: NIGGERS are actually colored Polocks.

    Q: What's Big, Long, BLACK and smelly?
    A: The Welfare Line in Harlem.

    Q: What's long and Hard on a NIGGER?
    A: The Fourth Grade.

    Q: Why did the NIGGER break his leg raking the leaves?
    A: He fell out of the tree.

    Q: What do you call a BLACK woman who gets an abortion?
    A: A member of Crime stoppers of America.

    Q: What do you call all the NIGGERS in the world on the moon?
    A: Eclipse

    Q: What does PONTIAC stand for?
    A: POOR OLD NIGGER THINKS ITS A CADILLAC.

    Q: Why do NIGGERS keep chickens in there backyard?
    A: To teach there kids how to walk.

    Q: Why did The NIGGER from Nation of Islam wear his nicest Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
    A: Cuz if I'm a gonsta Be Impotent I wants to look Impotent.

    A White man and a BLACK man are arguing about which race God belongs to. They argue about this for hours, and finally they decide to ask the heavens for the answer. The BLACK man looks upwards and asks: 'God, I gotta know. Is you BLACK or is you White?' The answer booms down from above. 'I AM WHAT I AM'. Vindicated, the BLACK man says: 'There, you see, I told you he was a brother.' 'Not so,' replies the White. 'If he was BLACK, he would have said "I IS WHAT I IS".

    Q: Did you hear the NFL is switching to green balls next year?
    A: Have you ever heard of a NIGGER dropping a watermelon?

    Here is a list of books you won't find in the library of congress:
    1. Italian war heroes
    2. Jewish business ethics
    3. Polish wit and wisdom
    4. BLACK men I've met while yachting

    Q: What do you call a NIGGER with an IQ of 15?
    A: Gifted.

    Q: What do you call a NIGGER with an IQ of 150?
    A: Tribe.
     
  2. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

    Messages:
    7,197
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I Murder Children:
    A white man was walking along the beach one day when he happened upon a bottle. When he opened it, a genie popped out and said, "Hey!" The man replied, "you're a genie, right?" "Yes," said the occupant of the bottle. "I'm a genie. What about it?" "Well," the man says, "you're supposed to grant me three wishes, right?" "NO!" says the genie. "That ended centuries ago. I don't do that anymore. I'm retired now. Just put me back on the bottle and drop me back on the beach where you found me." "Awwww..c'mon!" persisted the man. "Grant me a wish!" "Oh...all right!" the genie rolled his eyes. "You get one wish...and ONE WISH ONLY! And it had BETTER be exactly what you want because it WILL come true!" The man was ecstatic. He scratched his head, thought about it for a while, and finally whispered something in the genie's ear. "Okay," said the genie. "Your wish will come true at nine o' clock tomorrow morning! Now put me back in the bottle!" "Great!" the man said. He put the genie back on the beach and went home. He got a good night's sleep, called his girlfriend and asked her to come over, took a nice long hot shower..... At exactly 9:00 AM, the doorbell rang. The man opened it to find three Skinheads standing at his door each holding an arm of rope, eyeing him suspiciously. "Tell us," one finally said. "Are you the guy who wanted to be hung like a NIGGER?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    you know.. i was thinking you could easily substitute the white man for hollz..
    then i saw the word girlfriend..
     
  3. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    whats the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?

    the bucket


    things you wont hear a black man say:
    "my yacht is all fucked up."
    "excuse me sir, you dropped your wallet"
    "fish sandwich? eewww!"
     
  4. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    there was a woman that was married to a black guy and since her divorce she missed that big black cock, so she goes to the bar and finds herself the biggest blackest one she could find and brings him home. she gets all naked in front of him and says, "now do what you do best" so he grabs the tv and runs out.
     
  5. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    what are the 2 most important things missing from the million man march?

    2 miles of chain and an auctioneer
     
  6. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

    a pizza can feed a family of four.
     
  7. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    why do niggers like basketball?

    cause it involves runnin shootin and stealin.
     

Share This Page