Cliff's notes: So, this bitch reaches over her fence and trims some trees that are technically on her side of the property line - then leaves the branches in my yard. So, I pick the shit up and toss it back over the fence onto her side. I come back a couple hours later, and I'll be damned if the shit isn't back in my yard again (mind you, this isn't the first time shit like this has happened). This time, I start throwing that shit all over her yard, her roof, etc... and wait. She eventually walks over here and we have it out in my front yard, complete with cussing loud enough to make the other neighbors come out - I told this bitch that if she throws anything over the fence again that she'd be fishing all that shit off her roof. So, I've been thinking - rotting meat on her roof to attract rats that might find a home in her house, random applications of grass-killer to her lawn, etc... But I need a few more ideas... anyone? It'd have to be quick and 0
Can you just kill the tree? or the grass killer spelling out BITCH in her front yard with an arrow pointing at her door. Or just shoot her in the back when she comes in your yard.
I would have said take a dump in her backyard, but I don't know how quick on the heave-ho you are. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
Your options are limitless! How petty and spiteful are you feeling? If she parks outside, slip a rock into her hubcap, let the strange new noise mess with her. You can throw her breaker at night and ruin alarm clocks etc. . . There's the classic magazine subscription prank where you send in all those cards with their names in them. I reccomend going to a library and getting scientific journal cards. Those subscriptions start at like $80 a year.
I once paid Tru-Green Chemlawn to do my yard I had just spent two days prepping the soil and seeding my lawn me and my neighbor did it at the same weekend actually shared the rental in the equipment. My yard was an Acre and a half and it was a lot of freaking work. I told them what I was doing and not to use and pre-emergent type herbicide. Three weeks later my neighbor has got a carpet of green and I have got dirt. I went as far as looking up the address of the Tru-Green Chemlawn area manager. The intent to use glyphosphate to paint a nice invisible (not for long) penis and balls on his immaculate front lawn. It turned out that they admitted to their error after a week of arguing. They came out and The manager personally reseeded my lawn. He was about a day or so from me implementing my plan. I still think it’s a great idea though.
If you want to live in a white trash neigborhood and drive down the property values then by all means get into a petty squabble over some branches and be one of the prime reasons along with your neighbor why noone wants to live in your neighborhood. On the other hand, you could just call the cops on anything that constitutes breaking the law and plant some high barrier bushes or a taller fence.
I love it when Dan takes the high road. You know damn good and well that he would poison their cats and salt their yard in a split second if the show was on his foot. Barry
Duct tape a medium sized prawn (shrimp) under the wheel arch of her car. It will take her weeks to figure out where the god awful smell is coming from.
See the "revenge" topic in Barry's Nuts. If you insist on seeking revenege anyway, the best way is to cost her money. If she knows that it is an obvious act of revenge, it may now have the desired effect, or her insurance may pay for it. Keep it small, frequent, and random. 1. Drip a small amount of paint remover on the door of her car. Not all over, just a small run on the door. 2. Pour a pint of diesel fuel on one small area of her lawn. Nothing will grow there for years. 3. Place 4-5 roofing tacks in her drive way. Not too many. Just enough that it appears to be an accident. 4. (This is risky) Spray a mixture of epsom salt and battery acid on the outside of her airconditioning unit coils. It will eat through within a year. You can also take a blow torch, melt the solder connections, and have an instant leak. 5. If you know exactly where her sewer line is located, drive a metal stake through it, remove the stake, and wait for the fun to start. 6. Buy a quart of fish emulsion fertilizer, and pour it around her house. what am I doing? Please Godd forgive me, I haven't had thoughts like this since my probation ended......
32 gallon trash can, half-way full, leaning against the front door so that when the door opens it will spill into the house. Pissed my dad off so bad, but he never found out who did it. I was living in the house at the time though, so I had to help clean up. I don't think that will apply in this situation.
There was a guy who wrote a series of books I believe it was George Hayduke or something like that. 101 ways to screw your neighbor was one of them and it was all similar pranks as we are discussing. Would have been one of those publishers like paladin press.
Damn I'm good never bought the book but put it in the back of my mind I read parts of it. http://www.paladin-press.com/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=13 I hate to say it but Dan was right it seems a bit trivial of a thing to be so pissed about. Fun to talk about revenge tactics though.
Hideously disfigure your blow up doll and position it to menacingly face their front door, from a tree or something. Make sure to remove all traces of your dna beforehand.
Leave it to Nursey to one up us all. So good, I would pay to see a video of the look on your neighbors face. Barry
Four cans of Fix A Flat. One in each tire. Allow to sit over night. 4 unbalanced tires, and when she takes it to the shop to have them balanced the stuff moves so it's impossible to balance the tire.
These are great ideas - I especially like Nursey's, but I'm afraid Barbara (or Sally, or whatever the fuck her name is this week) is a bit tied up at the moment... I'm going to keep all these suggestions for future reference... I knew I could count on the Fugly crew... Well done! Love the picture, Bungle! Also, I remembered another nifty thing from my high school daze - Sodium Silicate solution. It's sometimes referred to as 'liquid glass' - apply that to a windshield or other glass object, and it fuses with it, becoming nearly impossible to remove. (The school janitor tried to remove some from a bathroom mirror once, and after a few days - succeeded - but took half the glass with it.) You can also mix the solution with a great deal of other ingredients, food coloring, vomit, aborted fetuses, etc... Makes for a great conversation piece.
