1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son.... Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
"I bet I can grab your gun before you finish writing that ticket." I always liked that one. ------------------ Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
If you are in the Netherlands and you see a parking inspector giving your car a ticket, do not say......'You fucking wanker cunt' as you can be arrested for insulting an officer on duty, Instead say.......'I find you a complete and utter fucking wanker', and he will politely reply.......'You can find what you want sir'.
