yeah, i think i changed the password to my account in a drunken haze one night...hmmm, imagine that. tried loggin in a few times over the past couple of months, blindly guessing at words i might use for a password while in such a state of (un)consciousness. ya know, stuff like: coldbeer pussy drugs (and any variation or form of) midgets jello boobies pornistehc00l heggledyshamalam tangdiggley ...all the stuff i usually think about when i'm really fucked up. nothin worked. so after trolling this forum <shudder> over the last month or so, i decided to create this alt account. FredVegas2...like the really bad sequel to a shitty internet persona. bleh. anyway, i created this second account because i have an extremely important message for everone here at fugly...everyone in the world, actually. ya see, i found jesus. no, not jesus(hey zues) like the mexican dude. i mean jesus as in THE jesus. it's true, i met him in the produce section at the supermarket. i was buying apples, he was buying oranges. i looked over at him and said,"Jesus Christ!!"...mainly because the bastard was standing on my fuckin foot! also because i recognized him from all the pictures i've seen of him at blackjesus.com. he looked at me and chuckled and said,"yes Fred, it is i...teh jesus. i have a very important message for you that i want you to share with the world..." then he leaned over and whispered the following phrase to me: Knee Chee was right. ...then he vanished. and not a moment too soon cuz that son of a bitch was still standing on my fuckin foot! so there ya go, message delivered. i don't know what the fuck he meant, but since it was jesus and all, i'm sure it's very profound and meaningful. or maybe it was just bullshit so he could step on my toes....i dunno.
PWAMP!?! *shrug* so whats been goin on wif efferybawdy these days? anything interesting goin on? last night a friend of mine thought he was slick and tried to tell me about tubgirl... which he described as "this really cool new site". i told him he was about a year or so behind on his internet trickery. then i enlightened him about goatse... which he had never heard of. his eyes are probably still burning.
goatse... hmmm... that's something I need to put on the office computer at work... Maybe set it as the startup page or something... I've already got a .bmp of my assistant manager saying 'You suck donkey balls' - was planning on replacing the 'ding' sound when you fuck up with this, it should go over quite well, methinks...
while you're at it, you should secretly change peoples wallpaper to a picture of goatse. they go out to smoke a cigarette or eat lunch...come back to see goatse's big brown unblinking eye starin back at em. and then secretly replace their usual coffee to folgers with flavor crystals...
If I ever perform a "Folger's switch" it'll involve switching someone's Oxygen with a helium tank at a hospital...
