You should've called today: I took a (customer's) homeade aluminum broadsword to a door, many, many times (leaving it in toothpicks). Threw a couple chairs on the roof. Managed to get a traffic cone stuck atop a telephone pole on the transformer. Tossed a gallon of baby blue paint on the neighboring store's outside wall. Then I forcibly molested the other cashier into submission in the break room. And then the store. I love my fucking job.
