So true and I could think of so many more I'll bite my tongue though an see what you guys can come up with.
Women wake up with perfect makeup and hair.No-one has morning breath or sleep creases down their faces and no-one in the history of any films i've ever seen has had a fart during sex, not even a fanny fart.
That's pretty good Joe. What are you doing taking a break from the Cold Sober forum? Someone there has to be sane. Get back to work. My favorite - Stallone's Law One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once at one man. My personal list of questions for things that never happen in real life - 1. Why does every computer on TV have to make that typing sound when it is displaying a sentence? 2. How do computer geeks on TV always manage to hack right into whatever they want? Is it really that easy? 3. When there is a shoot out or a hi speed chase on TV, why do the cops only show up long after it is all over? And why do they all arrive at once, with sirens and lights, and then they all jump out and grab the bad guys and throw them in the car and leave the good guys there with their guns smoking? In my world, if guns or chases are involved, EVERYONE gets a beatdown, and EVERYONE goes to jail. 4. Why do people that drink or smoke dope on TV get high instantly? Where can I get some of that? 5. On ER shows, how do the victims get immediate assistance from everyone in the ER? I when to the ER recently. I sat there for three hours while my wife is doubled over in pain. Nobody even noticed. 6. How do cars hit another car from behind, and ramp over the top of them only to land unscathed? Doesn't an airbag usually deploy on impact? 7. How does a sniper with a rifle and a scope manage to always miss by two feet? With a rifle and scope, almost anyone can hit something from 50 yards away every time. But on the other hand, the hero returns fire with a snub nose 38, while on a dead run, and drills the guy. I can't hit a elephant with a snub 38 unless I am laying under it shooting straight up. More later. I have to vaccuum.
AMEN! And when the Good Lawd cometh and saieth, "Son, the children of Israel, or the East European converts with white supremicist ideals who wanted to create an apartheid, two-tier state anyway...are countin' on thee to faaght the gewd faaght, of freein' the unclean sand nigs from a life of oppression, or even from life...in order that they might lick the boot of the foot that kicks them in the direckshun of Salvayshun...unto me..." ...you can answereth..."LAWD, AH TRAIIID, you KNOW ah DEE-ID, but those pesky bleedin' heart Commies and Lee-brools are consoomed by their vicious anti-warlaak senteements 'n sinful desires thet wish to see us turned into a bunch of faggots...who use the tongue not the UNSHEATHED SWORD to peenetrayat the butt of the problem. Not ME! Ahm ready to stick ma raging christian soldia into ANY shithole, provaadin you git that nancy panty biatch the U.N. to bind them and bring them to their knees before i come bravely in to do ma thaaang." Hallelujah! Praise (G.W.) B!
I thought no one was going to reply I know I may not have a mainstream Fugly sense of humor But I thought it was pretty funny. I think you got a good point UT what if some director decided to put in a little bit of reality into his movies? The sex quaff would be pretty funny. And the hair deal that’s a no shitter you watch an old western and The good guy as well as the damsel in distress look like they just took a shower went to a beauty salon had their hair done even though they have been riding on horseback for a week and sleeping under the stars. The bad guys are dirty and at least one likely the meanest has a scar on his face. Ok I got a few. How about the one punch knockout? One two combo one in the guy the other on the chin. Either way the guy is out cold. I wonder how many kids tried that on the playground and got an ass beating. "The Silent Kill" You stab a guy in the chest he makes that face and then silently as can be falls to the ground. My theory is when you see that news headline where someone was stabbed a hundred times. They expected it to work out like in the movies. To their surprise the victim fought back maybe yelled or screamed. I herd that nobody ever did get shot on the whole "A-Team" series didn't they shoot like a billion rounds per episode? My two favorites though were the detectives always end up investigating in a strip joint, and the detective finally breaks the case wide open after he is asked to hand over his badge.
"Women wake up with perfect makeup and hair" This is why they wake up with make up! Let it go! Leave me in my Hollywood Utopia! Reality sucks!
I can't even watch CSI because of the "not close to reality" stuff. Does everyone really believe that there is always some nerdy guy back at the office that can use a computer to find out everything on anybody with only a partial tag number to work with? I also love the way a main character can get shot in the arm or leg and tie a hanky around it like nothing has happened. I guess they never get a femoral artery clipped. In real life, a gunshot to the leg is as life threatening as anything. And why is the guy always "saved" when they dig the bullet out of him with a pocket knife? It's like the bullet has poison in it, and it has to come out. Imagine the damage digging a bullet out of someone would do. I also hate war movies. A bomb goes off, and people do flips and fly through the air. In real life a bomb goes off and PARTS of people go flying through the air. And lastly, I love the way cars explode and flip in the air, but no store windows are shattered. In reality a bomb blast large enough to flip a car takes out windows for blocks.
Genexodus 3:8 - "and for this reason the Lord your God said, let there be light switches, that darkness may cover their faces that you may be fruitful and multiply...
