So my cousin calls me up and tells me he wants me to meet his new girlfriend. This is surprising for a few reasons. One being he just broke up with his last girlfriend a few weeks ago and the big reason being I am not the family member you introduce to anyone you are trying to impress (strangers don't "get" me). Anywho...we got together down at the beach like two weeks ago. First off chick showed up wearing a white tank top AND she looked like Laura Prepon. She also seemed really cool. I figure he just is showing her off cause she is way out of his league. I am feeling stirrings in my nether regions for her, but I am a perv so that is not that strange. But chick is real touchy feely and even at one point stood up and reached over the table with her side like 4 inches from my face and I got THE VIEW. You know where the curve of the breast starts and the tan gives way to the creamy skin of her bosum...sigh. Here is the kicker...she has since sent me a note saying when I go to my other cousin's wedding next month I should stay with her. With the drinking and partying going on around the wedding and my talent for landing really hot chicks (even I don't understand it) I so think I could bag her. My boyfriend has given me the okay and truthfully my cousin is lucky if he ever got her, so no harm right?
Every time I start to think you have some shread of deciency in that digusting form of yours, you go and show us your total lack of it. You define the term "Trailer Park Whore" in every aspect of your being. I'll be watching for you and your cousin on Jerry Springer next month.
Do it! Do it, fucker! Bring me the camera, I'll fucking take pictures for ya! Do it! Don't ever back down from lesbo action. Do it! Do it! DO IT!
Hold up... maybe I'm off base... I have occassionally had a few problems with accepting the attentions of others that I should have passed on... I mean, if regretting your early twenties was a crime, I'd fucking be on death row. Don't listen to me... Be careful about your relationship with your cousin.
Now you're talking. My motto: "Keep that shit under your hat, and no one will ever want to kick your ass." (It sort of rhymes when spoken). I don't suppose you would mind telling us all about it when you're done, would you?
Normally this situation would rock. But its Yucky we're talking about here, thats just fucking disgusting. I'd rather see Rosanne Barr and Kathy Kinney from The Drew Carey Show go at it than to even THINK of Yucky. Fuckin gross.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Minister Saint-Fond: Now you're talking. My motto: "Keep that shit under your hat, and no one will ever want to kick your ass." (It sort of rhymes when spoken). I don't suppose you would mind telling us all about it when you're done, would you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If I do the deed I will share, and I will get some pictures of that weekend.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Minister Saint-Fond: Do it! Do it, fucker! Bring me the camera, I'll fucking take pictures for ya! Do it! Don't ever back down from lesbo action. Do it! Do it! DO IT!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is yummy. If you dont take back that statement, you deserve to die.
Okay lets say this does happen, *shudder*, just make sure YOU aren't in any of the pics. You said she was hot, so just take a shitload of pics of her naked all drunk.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Antichrist Lomotil: Make sure there are frogs involved...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> please explaing the frog thing to me, Sir
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goddess Yummy: please explaing the frog thing to me, Sir<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Please check the archives, Ma'am.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Antichrist Lomotil: Please check the archives, Ma'am.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> um, I have an affliction called Ooglabannotoastitis and it is characterized by the attention span of a gnat and an overabundance of vaginal fluid...if I couldn't take the time to look for Pimp's peepee, how do you think I am going to find that? Maybe if I had an approximate date and a subject line. But remember I am stupid (accourding to the "all knowing" MiCo) and probably still wouldn't be able to find it.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Minister Saint-Fond: Be careful about your relationship with your cousin. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How about if I show some temperence and don't brag to him?
talk about your drama inducing situations p.s.... you should try the search function. here's the thread with the frogs. worst sexual experiences [ August 04, 2002: Message edited by: sugar sphinx ]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goddess Yummy: AND she looked like Laura Prepon. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Laura Prepon is fucking smoking hot.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sugar sphinx: talk about your drama inducing situations p.s.... you should try the search function. here's the thread with the frogs. worst sexual experiences [ August 04, 2002: Message edited by: sugar sphinx ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SS, thank you and maybe you can give me private lessons in this "search feature" you mention...I read the thread...logs of Wank Whining (she claimed to have a fiance???), the frog story, and then hearing a traumatic tale of Pimp's Impotence. Don't think the frog thing would work with me, they are attracted to cool, damp places...slobbing on your knob must not have gotten her very hot, Lomo.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goddess Yummy: slobbing on your knob must not have gotten her very hot, Lomo.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You have to realize, I left her for dead out on the cold, hard cement outside... Ready to be eaten alive by our small dog-sized rats and insects, so it's no wonder it was a suitable environment for the frogs... Hell, even the dog came back inside with me...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Antichrist Lomotil: even the dog came .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hope you warmed the dog up suitably first
