what!?! no, there wont be any turtleheads or dirty crap like that...well, there will be turtle heads...nevermind
I'm totally confused about this whole turtle head thing..... what the fuck is that? A shit log? A REAL turtle head? A dickhead? What is it?
i found this guy trying to cross a busy street. i pulled to the side and saved him. actually i dont know if it was a male or a female. anyways, its a red-eared box turtle. you can tell that someone had shot at his underside with a BB gun. there were little round marks in the shell.
you know .... kitana.. i have a great idea ... lets examine some facts... you love animals... you also love torturing animals... you don't get much sexual action... that turtle needs a little encouragement to 'come out of it's shell'.... now here's what you do.... take our friend 'chompy' here... shove the head end up towards your labia.. you might wanna smear your juices a bit, i know that turtle's got you nice an wet already, so you won't need the old scrubbin board action... but you might be a bit dry around the old lips, and you won't want to be when we start the next stage... you should have chompy all nice and snug against your cunt now... he'll probably still be shy.. but we'll soon fix that.. now you take a blowtorch, preferably one of those mapp gas ones.. nice and hot, but very portable and easy to direct the flame.. ignite it, and blast that fucker right up the turtles ass..... what should happen is the turtle will be in agony.. and try to escape it's shell.... the result... it's head shoving hard and fast right up your wet and willing cunt.. good eh? oh yeah.. word of caution... you might wanna cover it's legholes
you know... if you film it.. and send it to martin... he could put it up on fuglyporn alongside cheezys shaved animal pics... whaddayaknow.. everybody's happy apart from the turtle.. but it's not like you paid for it or anything
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg: I'm totally confused about this whole turtle head thing..... what the fuck is that? A shit log? A REAL turtle head? A dickhead? What is it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> it's your reason to jump the queue in the mensroom.. you just shout out "I GOT A TURTLEHEAD!!!!AND IT'S TOUCHING CLOTH!!!!!!" and the queue parts like the red sea and you jump to the head of the queue... works mosta the time for me
Old chompy was starting to look pretty pissed when you were doing the face shots.I wouldn't get much closer or you might get an unwanted makeover,with lots o' red coloring.
no, he wasnt gonna bite me, he was shy. i wouldve kept him as a pet, but mom didnt approve...she didnt even approve of having him in the car with her when i picked him up off the street. she started screaming and the poor turtle just ran (as fast as it could) away from her and under my seats.
hey kit, what ya wanna do is... you wanna put the little fella on the floor - upside down. then put your toe on the bottom part of the shell, grab the top part and rip 'im open. then you can have two very fetching ashtrays in turtle green
you can tell the sex of a turtle by the length of it's claws. I have a turtle named Dimbag that I smuggled out of Florida when he was about the size of a quarter(7 months ago)..he is now so big I have to buy a 50 gallon tank soon..or else have turtle soup...
Alrighty this is what you do.... LEAVE THE FUCKING TURTLE ALONE. Was he holding a sign that said "Hey stop and pick me up?" Hellooooooo Newman! yeah........
