That post about jokes and pranks brought back some funny ass memories. There was a good intention I recall that backfired. There was this dude that Grim and I knew. This guy was ugly as sin and pretty wierd. Thing is, this dude had lots of money, but no common sense, class, or any cooth at all. Anyhow, he wanted us to hook him up with some chicks that we knew so he could finally get laid. We really didn't want to put any of our chick friends through this horrific ordeal. If we did, I don't think I could consider them fuck buddies anymore. A girlfriend of ours was very optomistic and had a "How bad can it be?" disposition. Her name was Megan, was a year younger, and went to a different school. So, we warned her that he was pretty strange. After she talked on the phone to him, she agrees to meet him in a public place. She brought a friend with her just in case. Megan's sister drops them off and splits. They meet at the Mall, and the first thing he said to her was "You look like a communist." The next hour he spent putting himself down and talking politics, blending them together. He bought tham dinner at Chic-Fil-A and shoved an entire sandwich in his mouth. Her friend calls me and tells me to get them out of there ASAP. I drive up and Megan's friend gets in the car. They are both so disgusted with him at this point and want to leave now. As they are leaving, she's still trying to be a good sport and say bye, the dumb ass starts throwing pine cones at her and laughing. She flips him off and we drive away. He then called her the next day and asked for another shot. That was the last time I tried to hook anybody up.
Holly Fuck Caldwell! Oh shit talk about fucked up, He did so many fucked up things it was unreal. Remember the Banana porno he showed everyone from the time he was 14 that came to his house? He was what like a year older then us? Flunked or some shit. Anyway he was the first one to get his DL. But he had not got insurance on his car yet. So we pressed him to drive anyway. He came and picked me up it was the first time he ever drove alone at night. I should have known it was going to go bad. Anyway we get to the end of my road and he stops at the sign. But he rolled out into the highway maybe a couple of inches. Well the next thing I know some rednecks passing by smack his car bumper with there flared out rear fender. No big deal, What does bonehead Caldwell do? Screams like a little bitch that he has no insurance and punches the gas and starts driving like a bad out of hell. Needless to say the rednecks are in a sopped up 70's muscle car and we are driving a POS 82 Monte Carlo. So they catch up pull in front of us and do the break thing. Caldwell like a dumbest instead of busting a U turn and flying down a side road, stops. The driver comes up to Caldwell's side and grabs him thru the window and pimp slaps the fuck out of him. I thought we where about to get in a big brawl when his buddies came to my window. But the dude just asked me what was up with my friend. I was like he is a dumbass. I told the dude to tell his friend how much he think it would cost to fix the ding in his fender. He said 200 bucks so I paid them. Caldwell all the way to Khans place Cried like a bitch. Never said thank you about. I have talked to a few people that still see him from time to time. He became a Minister. The reason he tells people he became one is because of me and how I was a bad influence then he found god and he pretty much thinks I'm the devil.
A minister huh? Don't drink the Grape Kool-Aid. The last I remember of him is that he hooked up with a big black girl. Yeesh!
Oh shit what About Mikie, Ha remember that day I set up the cam while we where fucking. You and Juan where in the living room playing Street fighter. We where back there fucking and I was taping the shit the phone rang and it was Sam told him to come over. Ha ha that is when she saw the red light was on the cam, And start raising hell and I just jumped up on the bed and starting beating her around the face with my dick and then slammed it in her mouth and bounced her head off the wall lol. Then after I was done and everyone was over there I took the tape in the living room and showed it to all you guys holy fuck that was funny. Dumb bitch.
Ha yeah that is the other part he blamed me for the black bitch. He liked married her after knowing her for 3 weeks. No prenup either. He met her while he was with me and i told him to go for it that was about how involved I was in it. She had a kid too. Anyway all that money he got when his Dad kicked from the gambling and fucking. She ended up getting when she left him leaving him flat ass broke. That is when he did not want to hang with me anymore and found god. Man I wish i had a pic of Caldwell I need to find one. Dude remember we use too call him Blue Gums and told him there was nigger in his wood pile. The dude was so fucking ugly he looked well like this with less lumps.
The thing I remember most about Mikie was the time we were heading to EB @ Little Rock. She was getting ready for work. She tries to put her make up on while she was driving and ended up slamming right into a parked pick up truck and broke her leg. She asks me if I can fix her car, and the whole front end looks like an accordion.
Oh shit I just remember the night with Caldwell and Sharron! That bitch was one hot Native American piece of ass pie. Remember Caldwell picked us up and we went and got David. The we swung by the Mall and picked up Sharron. Then me and you started passing her around in the back seat like a bong! Ha ha Caldwell had a crush on the bitch and we did not know it so he was driving us around town getting pissed by the Min. David was up front about to break his neck to see what the fuck was going on in the back seat. The best part is when we stop at that hotel to fuck around the place and look for unlocked rooms to knock off. Oh shit me Sharron and David where in the Elevator. David hits the Emergency stop screaming I can't take it anymore. Grabs Sharron and starts to dry hump her ass for all he was worth. God we where so fucked up that night. I still laugh thinking about David pratcally raping her in the elevator and blowing a load in his pants. Then him trying to cover up the stain all night by pulling his shirt down over it lol. Then we get back to the car and Caldwell is crying on the hood punching it. Yelling I liked her first and you guys meet her and turn her into a WHORE! Then we tell him we didn't turn her into a whore, We think she was pretty much a whore before we met. Which she got pissed about that. Didn't stop her from getting dicked down from everyone excpet Caldwell. Well ecvept David cause he had already spunked all in his pants. Funny thing about David was he was dating Cathy who was hot as hell. She would never fuck him ever. I mean dry hump city. She dumps him starts seeing another guy and was like knocked up in a month. Poor sucker.
wow i actualy read all that and insted of asking for my 10 minutes back i'd much rather know in what back water outhouse did you guys grow up in and how old were you when these events took place
Well both of us are from up north, We ended up in the hell hole knowen as Arkansas about the same time and became friends. Because of these southern Assholes don't like us Yankees. The ages well they vary any where from 14 to 19
