The fucking Catholic church nearby is having a festival

God damn. If there's one thing I hate, it's overly religious assholes. If there's two things I hate, it's a bunch of them in the same area. If there's three things I hate, it's the above two concentrated near me.

Sure, when I play music loud enough for the neighbors to hear, the cops come over. When the church on the hill plays music OUTSIDE loud enough to hear in my house 1/4 mile away, nobody gives a shit.

I'd call the cops, but 1) I hate cops. 2) I live in a predominantly Catholic town. They wouldn't do a fucking thing to stop this horrid combo of religious songs/tejano shit from polluting the neighborhood.

Organized religion. Pfffft. When are these cocksuckers going to learn?

 

Well, what I would do is go and crash it. Don't forget, the Catholics actually do drink alcohol....go up there, and guzzle down all of their communion wine, and then violently barf all over the altar boys.

One of two things will happen:
1. They never do it again.
2. They offer to pay you more than enough money to move.

 

3. You get arrested.

 

And have the wrath of God fall down upon me? I think not.

Oh wait... on second thought, that's not a bad idea... I'd have to rape the altar boys first, though... Some habits never die, I suppose...

 

i know! i know! dress up gothic, and go over to the party shouting satanic crap at the top of your lungs. use fake blood, or better yet, real blood for effects.

 

Here's another trick: Find out who the priest is, (and if you are willing to front the money), subscribe to varied gay fetish porn magazines under his name, and have them delivered to his church address. It is usually the parishoners who collect the mail, so they will see it first, and shit themselves.

 

kitana can probably get you lots of real blood

 

Don a pastel coloured suit and join in their festivities.

Praise the lord and all that.

Outside concert?

Pull their plugs, but only half the way out. This creates a welding type effect, melting sockets etc.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
i know! i know! dress up gothic, and go over to the party shouting satanic crap at the top of your lungs. use fake blood, or better yet, real blood for effects.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*thinks* "Now where did I put those black pantyhose?"

 

I honestly think it's time to make some homeade stink/smoke bombs... time to see which direction the wind is blowing and which 'cool whip' containers I can do without...