Little Johnny started a new job on Friday. On Monday he called in and said, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he called in again and said, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asked the foreman about him, and the foreman said, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him." So the boss called Little Johnny into his office, and said, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?" Little Johnny said, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm fucking her." The boss said, "You fuck your sister, that's sick!?" Little Johnny replies, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
Dammit...ok I have now printed screenshots of every page of Fugly.com and will spend the next few weeks memorizing all of it. Or you could all double your intake of your poison of choice so you won't know that I am repeating stuff.
A black man and his son are on an airplane going across the ocean when they hear the captain's voice coming over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid I have some bad news. One of our engines has gone out. We still have 3 working fine, but in order to make it across the ocean, we will have to dump all the luggage. It will be picked up by boats and returned to the airport where you can pick it up. Sorry for the inconvenience." Well, then about 15 minutes later, the captain comes on again. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid I have some more bad news. We just lost another engine. Since we already dumped the luggage, we will now have to drop people. You will be given floating devices and will be picked up immediately by a boat and taken safely to shore. To be fair, we will do this in alphabetical order. 'A' is for African American. All African Americans, please raise your hands." Well, hearing this, the little black boy started to raise his hand. His father pushed his hand down and said, "No son, keep it down!" When no one raised their hands, the captain said, "Okay, fine, let's move on to the letter 'B'. 'B' is for black. All blacks, raise your hands." Again, the little black boy starts to raise his hand, and his father does the same thing. The captain then comes on again, and says, "Well then, I guess we'll move on to C. 'C' is for Colored. All colored people, raise your hands." The little black boy starts to raise his hand, and his father pushes it down and tells him no. "But dad!" he says, "We are African American, we are black, and we are also called colored. Why won't you let me raise my hand?" His father says, "No son, today, we're niggers. Those damn Jews and Mexicans are going before us!"
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pimp Monchichi: thats been posted before.... god i'm such a cunt<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Can I call you Meat Curtains then? OK, if these have been posted that you all are a bunch of 3rd graders and I am going to show you Mommies how to post NetNanny. =============================== What's grosser than gross? When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall. What's grosser than that? When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet What is grosser than gross? Having a dream about chocolate pudding and then waking up with a spoon in your butt. What's grosser than gross? Biting into a hotdog and finding a vein What's grosser than gross? When you sit on Santa's lap and he pops a boner What's grosser than that? When you pop one back Q: What is grosser than gross? A: Drinking a Bloody Mary and finding the string Q: What's grosser than gross? A: A garbage can full of dead babies. Q: What's grosser than that? A: The one at the bottom is still alive. Q: What's grosser than that? A: He has to eat his way to freedom. Q: What's grosser than that? A: He goes back for more. What’s grosser than gross? Your girlfriend doing a split and your class ring falling out What’s grosser than that? Your best friend’s class ring falling out Grosser than that? Her class ring falling out Grosser than THAT? Her best friends class ring falling out Even Grosser than THAT? The shop teacher's finger falling out Q:What's grosser than gross? A:Fucking a pregnant lady and the fetus gives you head.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yummy: What's grosser than gross? When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall. What's grosser than that? When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> how the hell does that happen? <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yummy: What's grosser than gross? When you sit on Santa's lap and he pops a boner What's grosser than that? When you pop one back <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> can little boys get boners? <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yummy: Q: What's grosser than gross? A: A garbage can full of dead babies. Q: What's grosser than that? A: The one at the bottom is still alive. Q: What's grosser than that? A: He has to eat his way to freedom. Q: What's grosser than that? A: He goes back for more.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> that would be my dream come true <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yummy: Q:What's grosser than gross? A:Fucking a pregnant lady and the fetus gives you head. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> that would be pretty neat to see on ultrasound.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yummy: Can I call you Meat Curtains then?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> no you can't you insensitive bitch *snif*
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pimp Monchichi: no you can't you insensitive bitch *snif* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Try not to snot on me
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Psycho Kit: can little boys get boners?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> *looks around* Michael Jackson? You want to field this one?
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Friar Bitchicus Slapiticus: *looks around* Michael Jackson? You want to field this one?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> oh...
