A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms. “Yes we do,” he says. “Would you like to buy some?” “No,” she replies. “But do you mind if I wait around until someone does?” ============================================== One day Bob and Tom were walking down the street when Tom said, “You know I took skydiving lessons last week.” “Really,” said Bob in amazement, “How did it go?” “Well the week started out alright while we were in the class learning the basics. But then Wednesday rolled around and it came time to take our first jump.” “And?” Bob asked. “Well I was the last one to jump but when I got to the door I couldn’t do it. So the instructor told me ‘you had better jump out of this god damn plane before I stick my dick right up your ass.’” “Well did you jump?” asked Bob. “Yeah, a little.” ********************************************************** Q: Why don’t they have any Wal-Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there’s a target on every corner. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Irish guys walk out of a bar… ................................................................................................ A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered. "Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle." ########################################## A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or 12 pieces. “Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor. “No, from skipping.” ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is!” My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!” ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` An Iraqi soldier buys a camel, ties it up outside his local bar, and walks inside. “Nice camel,” says one of his buddies. “Is it male or female?” “Female,” he replies. “How can you tell?” asks his friend. “Well, on the way over here,” the man explains, “I heard this guy yell, ‘Hey, look at the big pussy on that camel!’”
Yes they certainly were shitty. Here is a better one. Q:What do anal sex and spinach have in common? A: If you're forced to have it as a boy, you'll hate it as an adult.
What's the difference between a blonde woman and blonde man? The blonde woman has a higher sperm count. Asking us to stop is ...asking for it!
You are fucking great Icenhour. Q: why do blond women have buises around their navel? A: Cause blond men are stupid too
