OK... a man finds out he has 7-10 days to live. So he throws a party...all of his friends and only son. He stands and gets everyones attention. "I have bad news, I will be dead soon, I have AIDS." after the shock, and all the kind words are said, the men start to party... the man's son goes to him and says. "why did you tell them you have AIDS, you have cancer?" the old man replys..."I dont want them banging your mother when I am gone" A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?” The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.” The bartender asks, “What the heck you do in Iowa?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?” The guy says nervously, “I mount animals.” The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!” A grasshopper hops into a bar and jumps up on a barstool. The bartender looks at him and starts laughing and says “Hey! We got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper gives the bartender a dirty look and says, “You got a drink named Steve?” A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.” “No, no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.“
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Icenhour: The mechanic looks up and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.” “No, no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.“<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That reminds me of a song I once heard (and taped many, many, many years ago) - "Wet Dream" [google shows it as <A HREF="http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=wet+dream+gulf+stream+mp3" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Demento - Wet Dream In The Gulf Stream </A> - I highly recommend downloading it.
Oh, and when you do - send me a link to the song or a copy, will ya? I've only got it on tape, and fuck knows where that is.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Coma White: The second was the best, you fucking rule Icenhour.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know... thats what I have been trying to tell everyone... hehe
