I posted these on another thread, but erased it. I think they work better here. I "borrowed" these from the Asylum Sick and Twisted Humor. If you've seen them before, I'm sorry. I'm just really bored and I thought they were funny. --------------------------------------------- A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out. This man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?" The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff. The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girls parents mangled in the rocks below. The man turns round and unzipping his pants says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day"!!! --------------------------------------------- Childrens Books That Didn't Make It 1. You Are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad's New Wife Robert 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book 6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 9. All Cats Go to Hell 10.The Little Sissy Who Snitched 11.Some Kittens Can Fly. 12.That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption 13.Grandpa Gets a Casket 14.The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 15.Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia 16.The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy 17.Strangers Have the Best Candy 18.Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way 19.You Were an Accident 20.Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will 21.Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver 22.The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan 23.Your Nightmares Are Real 24.Where Would You Like to Be Buried? 25.Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School 26.Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? 27.Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things 28.Daddy Drinks Because You Cry 30.How to Dress Sexy for Grownups 31.Bi-curious George 32.What's That Dog Doing To The Other Dog? 33.Why God Burned Down Disneyland --------------------------------------------- Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?" The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp." "Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?" "Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
heheh *!* always nice to hear 'em again. The "joke" about the train victim is true. At least down here in Tazewell VA. A way of life, don't knock it 'till you've tried it.
