So, I get really drunk at my chick's Halloween Party

(Scroll down for Cliff's Notes version)

A quick reminder on why I don't regularly drink Jim Beam:

Party starts at about 8:00 Saturday, guests are arriving at my girlfriend's place (her mom's house, mind you - technically it was her party). I was dressed up as a leprechaun, and she was some sort of devil-fairy. Her mom was a witch, her sister an S&M-themed cop, her fiancee' was a jailbird. Vincent van Gough was there mixing stingers, Zorro showed up with his broad, and I seem to remember something about a knight of the round table (there were more, but I'll stop here).

The party was going well, except for Zorro's broad and her damn karaoke machine - think: heavy Asian accent singing that damn Titanic song off-key. I decide that it's time for some more drinks.

We were well into the second or third hour of the party, and about this time everything starts to become a blur. I remember someone pinning a ribbon on my costume at one point, and I'm told that I gave a speech. That's really the last thing I almost remember.

Fast forward to the next afternoon.

I wake up at home wearing just the pants from my costume (inside-out, and not even with my underwear), remembering something about her mom telling me it was time to leave the night before. So, I get to the phone to call and find out what the fuck happened, and I have a voicemail. I check it, and it's my chick, telling me that I left my credit card over there and that I should come pick it up with my other shit, and that she should be using the card to replace "all the shit I broke last night." Damn.

A quick phone call reveals that apparently at some point, I found my way into my chick's room, took off all my clothes and passed out on her bed. Some time later, she must've been in the room trying to sleep, and I get up to go to the bathroom. She says she told me that I should put some clothes on before I go out of her room, and apparently I started yelling at her and in my stumbling, breaking a few of her things (some glass trinkets, a carved wooden figurine, oh... and, her stereo.)

I apparently go to the bathroom down the hall, still naked, and pass out on the floor with the door locked behind me. Someone had to pick the lock and get me out of there, and I guess when I got back to her room, I had gotten rowdy enough for her to have to call her mom into the room and restrain me... I vaguely remember being held by her mom, having her tell me that I'd best go home, and putting my pants on with her in the room.

Next thing I recall is starting my computer up and faxing in sick for work the next day, and then waking up the next afternoon.

But hey, at least I got 2nd place.

**Cliff's Notes**

• Halloween Costume party
• Jim Beam
• Halloween Ale
• Jim Beam
• Creme de Menthe Stingers
• **blur**
• Win 2nd place ribbon for costume
• **lost rather large tracks of time**
• **something about me stumbling around house naked**
• get home @ 5:00, fax in sick for work at 10:30
• wake up next afternoon, call chick, ask wtf happened

 

You have a fax machine??

 

Actually, yes. A color one, at that (remember where I work )... But that night, I used the computer and typed up a nice sentence-and-a-half, and sent the Word document via the modem to their fax machine so that it'd be waiting for them as soon as they walked into the office.

 

Why do I sometimes get the image of your home resembling the "blankman" lair?

 

I've never seen that movie, but the moment I do, I'll let you know if it's anywhere close...

 

what an interesting...errrr.ummmm...story? Sooooo impressive

 

God I can't stand uppity bulldykes.

 

Was that the night you stole the laptop Lomotil?


Barry

 

actually I like men

especially one that will spank my little bottom til its pink and tingly

 

what about ones that will spank your ugly face with a cinderblock until you regurtate blood?

 

I have a copy of the receipt... Best damn eight bucks I ever spent.

 

I said MEN...not boys

 

I hope you like blind men, cause if that's your face in your avatar...

 

Maybe it is....Maybe it isn't..
but

What an original reply!!!

 

I wasn't going to eat anytime soon so there was no reason for you to pull your avatar down.

 

Yawn...blah blah blah... blah blah...blah blah

 

It's beautiful! Amazing job wiht photoshop. You should of put the mullet from your last avatar on this new one, it would of been much more funny. Cause everyone knows how funny shitty photoshop jobs are....

 

By the way you reek of Hank Lu.

 

I know that for a fact!

 

Hank Lu is a lesbian Sarah McLachlan fan?