ok so my monkey was a little sore Sun-Wed ... I figured, it was because it got used properly - finally. anyway.. Thursday- the juice was a little weird... and then Friday- full blown yeast infection. WTF .. I never get these...unless I am on antibiotics for a long period of time ... anyway. Then I remembered... condoms with the sperm killer fucks me up. Throws the monkey all out of wack. I found that out like 13 years ago... and I guess after so many years I forgot... and well I did not ask if the condom had that crap on it or not. This sucks . My monkey itches. I want to take a hair brush to it. I wish guys had problems with their junk... oh yeah guys can get yeast infections... any one ever had one? Any one want one... haha just kidding. I am miserable and want someone to feel the pain as well.
I think I got one a while back. I didn't have any itching or discharge, but it was really sore and I had just finished a course of antibotics and had thrush (I hope that will be a once in a lifetime thing.... nasty), so I figured that's what it was and got some of those 3 days inserts. I managed day one and I think day two okay, but by the third day, I couldn't insert it. It burned so badly that I threw it away and left it alone and it got better. I don't know what was wrong. It just felt burned up. It does that sometimes. Do you eat yogurt? You can take acidophilus capsules. I think they are supposed to help. I eat the hell out of probiotics. The other day when I was running with ZZ top, I decided to take care of business and busted out the beard trimmers. I took the guard off and paid for it. I've been hurting since then. I guess the guard is there for a reason... and probably not meant for the female majora.
Personally, I think the two of you need your own forum... Aside from that, have you ever tried those Anton LaVey-branded sheep intestine condoms?
last night was day 2,,, this sucks. normally you can diddle the problem clear. naturally washes it out... I tried that- started a marathon on Wed... did not work No never tried those ... I think I am done with sex.. this was my punishment. this sucks... I guess I need to stick to porn.
or one studded like a hairbrush ... ewww. naaa its not as bad today - should be back to normal soon. I remember hearing about the sheep skin condoms... they dont sound very sturdy to me. I have to stick to plain old latex... without the spermicide you can all munch my mischievous miconazole mushy monkey..its marvelous and magically delicious. Its kinda funny when you wake up and go pee.. and forget you put the miconazole bullet up there... you wipe and for a second.. think "what the hell??"
So the monkey got properly put to use.... don't tell me thanks to CraigsList. I stopped reading that post quite a while ago.
Yeah, you stand up and think... "Uh, did someone just shoot a load in there?" You have to wear cum catchers with those or they'll ruin your underwear. They make a kind that you can use in the day now, I guess. Don't know where the junk goes. Maybe it's some sort of dissolving foam. They have home test yeast infection kits. I had a pissed off beav a while back and used one and it said I didn't have one so I went to the DR and had one done and it said I didn't have one either, so I guess they work. He told me to quit washing with soap and just use water. I'm like yeah, right. Saw that on Oprah years ago. I still don't buy it. I know not to use antibacterial, but something mild like dove should be fine.
Ok I just figured out why I was having monkey problems (the first post in this thread) ... I started feeling it come on again this morning...I am like What the hell! Well I was just taking a dodo in my hall bathroom I hardly ever use... because ..well I could not make it to my potty. Anyway - I have one of those Air Wick automatic mist prayer things... it sprays air freshener like every 10 minutes or so... I have it kinda hidden behind the potty - since it is ugly. And well as I was dodoing it sprayed... right on the basket that holds the toilet paper. I noticed everything in that basket has a film of chemicals on it... and I have been wiping my monkey and ass with it. And that bathroom does not have baby wipes in it. Right before I got that last cooter problem... My toilet I use was fucked up for a few days... so I was using the hall potty. I used the hall potty 2 times yesterday because I was bleaching mine...and today my cooter is acting up. SO just a warning... if you have one of those Galde or Airwick fragrance automatic mist thingies.... make sure your TP is far from it. Or you ...or your wife will be kicking up some cooter problems. I wonder if I will get cancer now from it... cooter cancer would suck .
I use woodwick candles in the bathroom for poop time. They are strong as hell and do an awesome job killing odors.
that is funny, because it is the guest bathroom. Only I can use MY bathroom, my son uses his...and the pretty hall guest bathroom- gives people yeast infections. so anyway - I threw away all that TP - moved the air mist thing... so hopefully no more funky monkey.
this has to the grossest shit I have ever herd... I just told my best friend about the cooter issue...and what caused it. and his skanky ass said ... "I liked fucking my X when she was making biscuits" he said it was tighter..due to be inflamed. yuck naaa mine has an OUT OF ORDER sign hanging on it. What sucks is... I will be hanging out with him tonight, and I know he will get drunk and start telling everyone... "ya know she has a yeast infection"
I am sending him a link to this thread... just to show him how predictable he is... He stood up and got every ones attention... and said . " I would like to make a toast... to Rhonda's yeast infection ... oh and by the way, she is single guys so come buy her and her brother a drink " (he is not my brother- but tells everyone he is) this was a good icebreaker for him... I guess showed the chicks he is funny and not my date..because the bitches just loved it... one after one came up to him to tell him "that was so mean" in a cute flirty way. And he must not be alone in liking to poke a bread box... because this one guy came up and started talking me up...wtf. he was old and skinny and had a gold chain on - that seemed to get tangled in his 3 inch long straight chest hair. yuck. (guys - dont wear gold) men are sick... and I dont think it is a yeast infection...just irritated from the spray chemicals... either way..it is not fun.
