i think sum really scary things,mental things,unholy things,unreal things,bad situations,evil thoughts,nasty thoughts,i am real pissed at sum people who snitched me an snaked me,i wanna fuckin torture em,evily,horribly,with knifes scalpels an nail gun,put nails through they eyelids,scalpel they tongue off,bleach ther eye balls,slice their ears off an re attach em to their ass cheeks,en cut off 2 ostritch eyelids to replace theirs,burn em with fags an carve cunt in their forheads,then hang em upside down from a tree n use em as punchbags,kneecap em with hammers,drown em till they almost die then bring em up an slap em repeatidly with leather gloves on,tip bleach down their mouth an make em swallow it mixed with battery acid,shit on em an make em eat it,piss on their mums,kidnapp their bitch an rape her fuckin cunt out till she dies.then dump her on ther mums doorstep,nail gunned to the porch upside down,then jus do other things i think to do..help me,i need these thoughts gone.but they wont go.i look in the mirror an laugh an cry at the same time,i dnt knw myself,i wish i could understand myself but i cant at this moment in time,maybe i am a fucked up person,maybe not,maybe i dont mean this,it could jus be my mind taking over my ego,but it might be summin deeper,but i cant get the bigger picture,i need to focus but lose composure,maybe its all the shit i seen an bin through turned me a cold hearted feelingless mother fucker,i dont know,do i have mental problems? if i knew i could get away with it i would do it,na mate try be calm,but i cant its hard,anyway i am calm jus expressin myself,but expression of self could be bad for my health,it ent bad for my wealth cos i ent got none,i dont even sign on,i dnt work,jus make a livin as i go along ya know,its hard but maybe my minds scarred? cut open,sumtimes i jus wanna be put sleep,maybe i will end up in broadmoor for the way i am,maybe not,maybe dead or prison agen,fuck knows,i just really dunno wot to do in life,its like i give myself advice,good advice,but cant seem to stick to it? then every few mins i be in a diffrent mood an mindframe,WTF is wrong with me? any advice from sumone who ent like me?
could it be cocaine withdrawal effects? i havent done none in 6 months now,for 2 years straight i did 4-5 grams of cocaine a day an smoked atleast 7 grams of weed a day,maybe my depression an lack of motivation could be down to not doing coke anymore? i always feel lonely,bored,depressed,agitated,restless,pissed off,pain,body weakness,fatigue an more.i dont fuckin know,my head is a big mess. anyone got any advice???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? russian d or astral boogy?
also i have real bad insomnia,an very very bad acid reflux,that is really fuckin painfull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I think you’ve got PTSD from living in Hackney all your life. You could either vent your stress by going and battering and delicately de-eyelidding some hapless fucker, but the initial release will be short-lived and you will just end up compounding the problem. You need to vent it somehow before it eats you right out like some sort of demonic BullDyke666 entity. You should do exercise – like a martial art. Make music. Go to flower arranging or line dancing classes. Lesbian poetry groups. Staying up all night staring into the abyss is no good.
That's right Gosty , I really do recommend you take up the harpsichord or trombone. I often wank . This can help relieve stress.
yeaman i will take up playin the triangle an sing ghetto street choir hyms,the abyss in no good,i dont want to get dragged in,i will super cartwheel over the abyss an slap goat-fingerer666 on his facial area.then spit flem on him an make him chew it an say MMMMMM thats tasty yeeeaaaaa boyyyy
