Hello, my first time posting here so here goes 1)A little boy named Johnny runs home and says "Mommy, mommy, I had sex with my English teacher today!" The mom freaks out and when the Dad gets home she tells him. He approaches Johnny and says "Son, today you became a man. Would you like to go get some ice cream?" Johnny happily replied "No thanks, my ass hurts." 2)There was this blond who just got a brand new Jaguar for getting into college. She was driving on the wrong side of the road when she slamed into the front of a tow truck. She just sat there when the driver of the tow truck gets out and says "What the fuck his wrong with you?Didnt you see me?" She still just sat there. Really angered, the tow truck driver undoes her seatbelt, pulls her out and paints a white circle on the street and said "stand there and stay there and dont you even get out of the circle" He goes up to the car and pulls out a knive and slashes all the tires. He turns around and the blonde is snickering. So then the guy takes the knive and scratches the car and turns around again to see here trying really hard not to laugh. "Shut the fuck up" he says. He takes out a can of gasoline and pours it on the car and throws a match on it. By now the blonde is laughing her ass off and he turns around and says "WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUCKING FUNNY!?" in a cackeled voice she says, "Every time you turned around i stepped out of the circle!"
Oh yea, i forgot these two: 3)Have you ever heard of the rodeo position? Its where your grab your partners boobs and say say "Your sister was better" and see how long you can hold on 4)A man working in the morgue went up to his supervisor and said "boss i cant do an autopsy on Mrs. Jones." The boss asked why and the guy said "Theres a giant shrimp sticking out of her pussy." A look came over the supervisors face and he asked the man to take him to see. "there it is, a shrimp." The supervisor looked at him and said "You idiot thats here clittorus!" The man simply said "hmmm. well it sure tasted like shrimp"
oh man, that rodeo position cracked me up. but it doesnt beat devdev's joke about mcdownloads (the fucking twat, shoot yourself now).
