RANDO

Discussion in 'General Mayhem' started by Nursey, Oct 22, 2003.

  1. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

    Messages:
    7,378
    Here's something i did in the comments section about a year ago. I managed to
    convince people i was a big stupid guy called 'Rando', and they ALL started
    to hate me,(i think they were just jealous i was getting the chicks with my
    linguistic prowess) :

    By: RANDO - Thursday November 21st, 2002
    Ando,i'm gonna have you gulping on my sweet hot jet of coconut milk as it
    shoots out my juicy king tiger prawn, then while youre hungrily locked on
    won-ton whip your pretty lil pygmy-gook corpus upside down and feast upon
    your gasping saki-drizzled fugu til it yields it's deadly toxin causing my
    jaw to clench and sinkin my teeth deep into your pulsing thin yellow nung
    flaps til my orgasmic convulsory death throes have me ripping them off a la
    sashimi cuisine, you smokin hot zipperhead.

    By: Andophiroxia - Friday November 22nd, 2002
    Wow. That was beautiful. Talk to me more you hot casanova.

    By: RANDO - Friday November 22nd, 2002
    Fortune cookie say:
    Meal over. Dink bitch wash dishes now.

    /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\


    By: RANDO - Tuesday December 3rd, 2002
    Hi everybody!! I'm just back from my skiing holiday in the alps!!!Did you
    miss me?

    By: N - Tuesday December 3rd, 2002
    ur full of shit. u aint bin on holiday uve jus bin quiet cos every1 thinks
    ur a prick. fuck off back to the "Alps"

    By: RANDO - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    Well,by everybody 'U' mean 'U' and 'ur' e-kewly illiterate friends and
    aliases,'N'.Learn to communicate as well as the average 12 year old and then
    i might pay your neanderthal grunts more heed.

    By: N - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    Be quiet little boy. Don't you know wheere you're not wanted?

    By: 8-ball - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    in other words, fuck off RANDO

    By: Dwaine - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    yea go away u knob

    By: Rach - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    yea u r a cock really arnt u RANDO

    By: Q - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    Is it just me or is this going rond in circles. Y cant u jus fuck off RANDO
    nobody here likes you. keep ur fat mouth shut, cunt.

    By: RANDO - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    No. I am IT. You hear!?!!

    By: Steph -(<<ME) Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    Fuck off Rach you retarded cock slurper! I hear you are a shit lay.

    By: T -(<<ME) Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    Yep RANDO y cant u c ur not in our club here. Fuck u cunt. cos u r gay.

    By: Sparky (<<ME TOO)- Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    i hait u 2 RANDO y do coks like u kep comieng back is gay.

    By: RANDO - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    I'll take you ALL on...C'MAN! Where's the rest of the short bus internet
    lynch mob? Licking their keyboards?

    By: k - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    im sure if you ignored him he would go away but with all your talk of cocks
    and pricks etc. hes just going to keep coming back.

    By: Hobbledongfoogle - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    This is all just amusing.

    By: Tzan Xhiou(<<ME AGAIN) - Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    am drop by site 2 interest, off big fan 2 say "no RANDO yes not wen 2 stay
    GO!"

    By: Joaquin (<<AND AGAIN)- Wednesday December 4th, 2002
    ¿usted RANDO van ausentes no pueden usted ver a estos niños quisieran que
    usted tomara su pene grande apagado en la distancia?

    By: RANDO - Thursday December 5th, 2002
    So i see the short-bus net-mafia crew have got all the GOOKS and SPICS on
    their side now! Hey Jo-quim! ¿por qué usted no toma su pene acentuado
    zanahoria de su trasero gordo de los mamma?
    And Tzipperhead, you look like plucked yellow chicken, but your sister is
    juicy fat fuckable pig. She gleedy gulp-gulp all WANDO coconut milk too!

    By: RANDO - Thursday December 5th, 2002
    COMPRENDE!?!!!?!

    By: Joaquin -(<<ME) Thursday December 5th, 2002
    I will take you RANDO I will put it's hair in handfuls like a small girl.
    Then the hook taken hold of i will its handfuls and dismisses its stupid
    head of the Yankee system upwards and downwards to my Spanish sausage that
    beats. Then you will moan like a woman of the dog when you test the stallion
    juice of a true one.

    By: N - Thursday December 5th, 2002
    RANDO wot u on bout gooks and spics u dumb fuck hes speaking spanish. thick
    fucker. just face it nobody likes u.


    ............ so i disappeared for a few days then posted THIS:

    XM§ÏÄÕÐ (<Rando's new deified title)

    I'm back.I just wanted to let you know that the vicious lies posted under a
    (fraudulent) use of my name cut me to the bone. What you don't see is the
    gentle, caring heart that pumps the lifeblood round the big guy called
    'RANDO', and you know, maybe it's just as well...i don't think you could
    live with yourselves if you could see how much love i have for you all. You
    wished me dead at one point, a wish that very nearly came true. You see, in
    confusion and anger and pain over what went wrong, i took to my hangglider,
    i just wanted to get away from it all. And in that state of angst and
    trouble i flew like a wild bird through the skies, my mind racing with the
    taunts, lies and cruelty of it all (you see, on top of all the wounds
    inflicted here my granna has just passed away after a long courageous battle
    with endometriosis). As i soared through the heavens like a crazed,
    tormented hawk, shaking my fist at God, i was overcome with a hate that
    burned through every muscle, corpuscle and bone. A hate that eminated
    outwards at the world and inwards towards my soul. I decided to end it all.
    I took the control bar and veered sharp left towards blackhawk ridge on the
    appropriately named 'mount diablo' here in Clayton. My poisoned heart
    thumped like a demonic bull, my eyes bulging with rage and my ears pounding
    like drums. I really wanted to smash my brains against that 'wall' and
    release myself from the shackles of this world. As i got closer, i suddenley
    felt as if i wasn't moving by will towards my chosen fate so much as i was
    being sucked into the bosom of death and hell...this wasn't what RANDO
    wanted...it was what evil wanted and it was gladly opening its menacing jaws
    to engorge itself on yet another weakened broken soul! Instantly a cry broke
    out from my heart through the rage like a small child bursting free from a
    burning house. The ridge appeared like a mighty beast salaciously preparing
    itself for its favourite lunch...that of a hatred poisoned human soul. And
    this was i, willingly releasing all claim of my being to this travesty of
    everything in life i have ever adored...a disgusting, mindless, stinking
    gutter that only knew how to indulge its own self centred insatiable
    appetite, sucking the love from each soul in order to turn it to bile which
    would in turn burn my flesh, digesting its way through my bone.
    Seeing this brute spelt it out in no uncertain terms what i was indeed
    doing. Feeding the source of every evil that had ever darkened my door, and
    more importantly, the doors of all i loved. Was i going to give up
    everything now? Me-RANDO ..the child that was born of love? NO WAY JOSE!
    This sucker had a fight on his hands if he thought he was gonna masticate
    over grannas favourite little boy!
    And so, that shrill cry broke loose from my heart, and the power of that
    pure, innocent plea to God above was met with a lifeline of love. As if by
    miracle, i managed to veer and instantaneously catch a thermal that grasped
    me up in its warmth at a speed at which only the angels move...i was back in
    the arms of God! Snatched a hairs breadth away from the eternal torment of
    the Void. It was not to be my kismet. I have been tested, and i attested
    legiance to Love, my God.
    And so, you may come, with your little poison darts, sneering and mocking
    like a pack of wild dogs...your senseless cowardly laughter like demented
    hyenas...but none of that can touch me now. I have looked the Void straight
    in the mouth...seen the eternal solitude that knows no warmth...i am bigger
    now. Bigger than ever before..RANDO has been brought to you by God.

    (the first response to it was)

    By: N - Friday December 13th, 2002
    Oh... my... God...

     
  2. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

    Messages:
    7,378
  3. Ulfur Engil

    Ulfur Engil New Member

    Messages:
    1,469
    The funny thing, is that you and Ando might have honestly gotten it on as a couple in real life.
     
  4. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

    Messages:
    7,378
    How the hell do you come to that conclusion, Ulfur?
     
  5. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

    Messages:
    7,211
    don't worry about it nursey.. i think he's fantasising that you'd have an urge to flick your tongue between pulsing thin yellow nung
    flaps
     
  6. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

    Messages:
    10,267
    Lomo must find out what Rando is on...
     

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