My plan for changes in 2005. 1. I resolve to eat the things I like. Everything I like, whenever I like. I am sick and tired of eating healthy. I tried it in 2004 and I find myself constantly suppressing urges to harm people. I did not have those feeling when I ate everything I like. I think I will eat more red meat. Maybe the blood of rare red meat will calm my urges. Why evolve to the top of the food chain, and then settle for bean sprouts? Raw oyster too. Damn the bacteria, and I really don’t care if it clogs my arteries. I will die with a full stomach and a smile on my face. 2. I resolve to stop taking abuse from people that I never liked in the first place. All my life I have been nice. Nice to people who are abusive to me. Nice to morons, pricks, bosses, and coworkers. Nice to ingrates. I will no longer be nice to people just for the sake of being nice. I have been practicing being an ass in this forum, and I feel empowered. Look out 2005, no more Mr Nice Guy. 3. I resolve to spend more time with people who my wife and family find disgusting. I am sick and tired of normal, boring people. I do not want to hear another story about their child’s piano lessons. I do not want to know about the deal they got on their new BMW. I want to talk to people who would piss in the backseat of a BMW if the urge hit them. People like that are interesting.. Again, thanks to everyone in this forum for the early practice. My wife hates you all. Especially those of you who have gorgeous rumps and are willing to share them in pictures. She tells all her normal friends that I am acting weird and talking to “those people” on Fugly.Com. I love the look of shock on their faces. It makes me happy. 4. I resolve to take a nap when ever I feel like it. If the other people in the car have a problem with that, they can walk. If my snoring bothers the people in the waiting room, tough for them too. 5. I resolve in 2005 to be totally honest. Lying takes great effort, and it makes me sad. From now on if my wife asks me, “do these pants make my butt look big?” I am going to say, “No dear, your butt looks big because it is big. The pants have nothing to do with it.” I swear I can’t wait. Same for my colleagues at work. I can’t wait ‘til the next time one of them asks me why my reports were missing from a file. Instead of my usual, “Oh, they just haven’t been filed yet.” I am going to look them in the eye and say, “because I did not want to do them, idiot.” I swear I can’t wait. 6. I resolve to read and write whatever interests me, instead of what is expected of me. Maybe Schmed has a point with the Spider Man magazines. I think I’ll diversify. 7. I resolve to never wear a tie again. I have always hated them. Whose idea was it anyway to tie a length of cloth tightly around your and wear it for 10 straight hours? Who am I trying to impress anyway? See number 3. 8. I resolve to sit on the good furniture, eat off of the good plates, and walk on the carpet with my shoes on any time I feel like it. Where did Americans get this ridiculous idea that there should be one room and one set of dishes in your house reserved for “company.” That is insane. Come January I’m using the good stuff everyday. 9. I resolve to shave my head and keep it that way. I am fighting a losing battle with my hair. Baldness is inevitable, so why not take control of the process? 10. I resolve not to work on days that have an S in them. Monday and Friday are enough. And I leave at noon on Friday. Fishing and Gardening are much more important that work. Barry
I resolve to stop doing pointless things... 1) Make my bed, it's just gonna get messed up 12 hours later. 2) Rake the lawn, it's just foolish. 3) Argue with my lady, it dosn't get me anywhere and I guess MAYBE sometimes she does have a point...but I still don't think I play video games too much. 4) Well I don't have 4 yet , but I still have 5 days or so to come up with a few others...
Come on and post. I want to know. If you don't post your own, I am going to make up some for you. Barry
Sorry to be boring but im gonna have a go at giving up the cigs but thats it and seeing as ive done this every year for the past 6 years i doubt it'll happen.
No, just shocked that you let everybody see it, and mad at me that I thought it was cute. Real, Real mad about the cute part. Barry
What the fuck? You see just as much in a thong bikini!! Obviously your wife doesn't get out much, does she?
Hey, we're old school. A thong bikini is considered porno at my house. She does get out a lot, it is just that she goes to the same place everytime! Barry
This thread was well ignored when posted nearly two years ago. I think it has merit for a revisit. I will be updating my list for the New Year. Any others? Oh, and Reiz, if you are reading this - you promised a new picture around the holidays. You now owe us two, and another on 1/1/07.
Would you like a picture of my ass? My new years resolution this year is to post more here. I gave up the cigarettes, the drugs and the alcohol already. What else is there?
