Online dating profiles

is it just me, or when a guy puts on his profile "extremely open minded" that pretty much means "I am open to sucking on a penis" or he is into putting rotten bananas in his ass while wearing a gimp outfit, jerking it while watching Gimme A Break.

its sort of funny how everyone is outgoing, loves to laugh, easygoing, and not into drama.

Who would like a shut in hermit that argues and never laughs.

another funny line: "I am told I am good looking." ok who has assholes coming up them saying "wow you are not a handsome man"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC5BIuhQBy0

Jeff Castle looks like he might be your type.

 

Geri, you are not a handsome man. A funny looking window licker, yes.

 

I think "Husam" is more bigmama's type.

Never been with nerd, or a black guy, or a foreigner, or a woman, or an inadament object. Maybe I should try one of those. I am setting my standards too high.

phatboy, you know want some of this. Don't lie. Come and get it, I will even cover it in Cheese Whiz.

 

Phatboys got some splainin to do .. how did she know about the cheese whiz cooter ... stop telling our secrets.

and guys named Husam are not a good idea.. for anyone.

 

They should start out like Cheeze starts his "about me" on myspace... "Im a horrible loser..."

 

Damn... The last 'mean-nothing' fling I had was an admitted 'window licker' - she would often come over to the office and demonstrate. Kinda makes me wonder... Is there something more to that, or did I have my knob slobbed by someone that'll put her mouth on anything?

 

I think the answer to your question is 'yes'.

Im not sure what the heck the cheese whiz is about, but I know I cant get with a chick that cant look me in both eyes at the same time.

 

why do you want to get with a cross eyed chick? Are they really that hard to get with?

 

I guess I should be more 'pacific'.

I cant get with a chick that cant gaze into my eyes at the same time, like eye to eye, not like one eye crossed over the other and then across. That is just creepy.

 

you should say - I dont want a chick...blablabla

not - I cant get with a chick...

you cant get with Angelina Joeli...

see what I mean

 

I cant get with no chick that keeps correcting me and making me speak all english and shit.

Was that better?

 

I told you , you could get with me, if you smelled good.

now the proper way would be...

I dont want to get wiff a chick that ...blalabl;

 

Like a lazy eye?

I used to work with this girl with weird eyes and the guys called her "walleye" behind her back. All I know is it is a fish.

Then there is that ugly mtv girl that is allegedly hot. Her eyes are totally fucked up. They call her "ceiling eyes". Even with fixed eyes, I find her face ugly.

http://images.google.com/images?hl=...m=1&sa=1&q=ceiling+eyes&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&start=0

 

I dont understand ceiling eyes, I guess because her corneas are in the upper half of her eye opening?

Maybe?

 

People who need to resort to dating websites are probably as ugly as a hat full of assholes anyway.

 

Now, THAT'S a new one... I'm going to have to write that one down... :biggrin:

 

For what? Your retarded analogy book?

 

Re :

Okay. You can have lots of help from the internet. There are a host of sites on the net that offer help and advice. Dating Books will aid you with all the tips you need. I am quite confident that with the help from the site you will get your ideal date!!

 

I think dating websites are awesome! Check out my profile on plentyoffish.com

My name is Cheezedawg there as well.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member15185993.htm