You already know how fond I am of supermarkets. So I'm standing in line at the deli counter waiting for my number to be called, when I hear this cheery voice whisper behind me, "Did you take a number??" I turn around and look down to see a short, plump middle-aged woman smiling expectantly at me. "Uh, yeah," I replied curtly, facing front again. After 5 seconds, I hear: "Well, you wouldn't mind if I go next?" I turn around again; she's smiling even more widely. I realize two things: she was only kidding, and she was kidding to begin with because she's one of those cheery Mary Sunshine types, who apparently feels a compulsive need to strike up pointless, inane conversations with any stranger within a 10 foot radius. "I only have to get one thing," she adds, enjoying her joking every bit as much as I'm cringing from the assault. I smile weakly, turn front again then sidle away from her casually as if I'm inspecting the farther reaches of the meatcase. She follows me & plants herself behind me again again. Keerist. And she's a close-stander, too - someone with no concept of personal space. I can vaguely feel her heavy, fat-lady breathing on my back. I take a step forward; she follows. "Ooh, I think that roast beef looks good today!" she chirps. I don't respond. Please, call my fucking number soon, people. I take another evasive step. She parks right behind me again. So I treat her to my move for ambulatory tailgaters: I fidget with my basket, pretending to shift things around, and give her an 'accidental' elbow to her big, pillowy tit. Surprised, I turn & say, "Sorry - didn't realize I was standing so close to you." That finally backed her off as well as shut her up.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic: And she's a close-stander, too - someone with no concept of personal space<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The close stander,almost as bad as the dreaded close-talker. I hate when people do that.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic: and give her an 'accidental' elbow to her big, pillowy tit. Surprised, I turn & say, "Sorry - didn't realize I was standing so close to you." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> that's about the only action u get, old man
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana: that's about the only action u get, old man <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic: "Ooh, I think that roast beef looks good today!" she chirps.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Dude... she wanted you... I'm surprised your evasive mammary technique didn't net you a quickie right there in the store...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Bitchslap: Dude... she wanted you... I'm surprised your evasive mammary technique didn't net you a quickie right there in the store...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> i know! i think i have seen pornos that start that way
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana: i know! i think i have seen pornos that start that way <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You watch elderly porn flicks? No wonder the whole notion of sex turns you off...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Bitchslap: You watch elderly porn flicks? No wonder the whole notion of sex turns you off... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LOL, no i was just kidding that's a phrase that freaks ppl out sometimes
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote That often freaks me out..jesus sometimes i cant come out of my room for days when i read that.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 'battlesausage': <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ughhhh!...what a distasteful choice of smilies UT!!!
Yeah I hate it when dumb people always try and "spark up" some gay ass conversation annoying as fuck.....
"Moby He's a sanctimonius hypocritical money Grabbing Hippy Shite face. He jumps on every musical bandwagon going and pretends he invented them, then is lauded by 30 year old chinless wonders for his boring patronising ( and in the case of Natural Blues faintly racist)starbucks drinking derivative shite. He flaunts his green credentials then lets is music go on fucking car adverts. He deserves a good kicking dak10@le.ac.uk" Moby does need to get punched repeatedly.
