4 men go golfing one day, 3 of them head to first tee, while the 4th goes to piss. The 3 men start bragging about their sons. First man says " My son is builder, he is so successful he built a house for a friend free of charge" Second man says "that’s nothing, My son owns a big car dealership and is doing so well he gave his friend a new BMW for free. Third man said "well MY son is a is a big shot stockbroker, he gave a buddy an entire portfolio! The fourth man returns and the first man says… well how is your son doing these days? Well my son is a gay and is a nude dancer at a fag bar. Everyone laughs The fourth man said well he may be a fag, but he is not doin to bad. One guy built him a huge house, another gave him a BMW, and one silly faggot gave him one hell of a stock portfolio.
A flasher walks by two old ladies sitting on a park bench and exposes himself. One of the old ladies has a stroke…the other one could not reach it.
Q: How do you make a cat go woof? A: Douse it with gasoline and toss it into a fireplace Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids Q: Why didn’t John Denver take a shower before flying? A: He figured he could just wash up onshore Q: What do you get when an epileptic falls into a lettuce patch? A: Seizure salad Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter-pounder with cheese. Two prostitutes are standing on a corner. One says to the other, “Ever been picked up by the fuzz?” The other replies, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the tits.” Q: What did the seven dwarfs say when the prince awakened Snow White? A: “I guess it’s back to jerking off.
Credit this one to Drew Carey: A guy meets a girl in a bar and they get to talking. It turns out they both recently finished relationships. She asks him what ended it. "I was too kinky for her," he said. "Well, my boyfriend said I was too kinky for him!" she replied excitedly. The conversation takes a decidedly postive upswing and the lady soon asks the gentleman back to her apartment "to have some fun." Once back in the apartment, the lady asks the man to get ready as she's going to "slip into something more comfortable." Ten minutes later, she comes back into the living room wearing thigh high stiletto boots, a black leather corset, and carrying a bullwhip. She has a tray that has clothespins, hat pins, sewing pins, rolling pins, bowling pins, you name it. She has a big smile on her face...only to see the man putting on his coat and just about to head out the door. "Hey, where are you going," she asked, "I thought we were going to have some fun?" The man turned to her before leaving, "I just fucked your cat and shit in your purse. I'm outta here."
