Of all the fucking things to discover at work..

I was at my job yesterday, when one lady came up to me and politely said "I hate to tell you this, but there was a small "mess" in the ladies room." So, I grab one of my female co-workers, and have her stand by the door while I go into the women's room and see what had happened...

And, behold, some fucking bitch went off and missed the fucking toilet completely, and shit right on the fucking seat. And beyond that, must have spent about three hours wiping her ass, because there was dirty toilet paper all over the seat, too.


This is the second goddamned time in a month that there was some sort of fecal mess in the women's room. (The first time, some woman in a wheelchair took a spherical dump and in turn, clogged the toilet)

The next time this happens, I am going to take a sample of her shit to a forensic scientist, find out who the whore is, and fucking kill her.

 

Sounds like someone needs one of those damn X10 video cams... Go anywhere on the 'net, and one of those goddamn ads will pop up...

 

My brother used to work at the same place I was at in England. He was a Fish Monger(?). One of his co-workers was working one day when he noticed an oldish fella shaking his leg while he was walking towards the fish bit. This was kid watching what he was doing when a shit fell out of the blokes trouser leg onto the floor. He just walked on as if nothing happened and the poor kid was left standing there staring at a shit on the floor in the middle of a busy store.

He left soon after that.

 

I used to work in a bar as well and the fucking drunk Garage-music-loving whores in their skirts that barely cover their fat pussylike regions and low cut tops that sparkle and get lower when ever a skinny young Ben Sherman clad male is within 15 ft of them - would break glasses in the toilet bowl and then shit in them. This made it almost impossible for the cleaners to get rid of it. I know they were drunk... but I have been so pissed I couldn't remember my name and I would never dream of doing something that.... retarded. I just don't understand those little slags anymore...

 

i think that wank came and fucked up yer toilets bro

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Super Spark:
i think that wank came and fucked up yer toilets bro<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

god damn little nigger.

I was adding my stories where OTHER-FUCKING-PEOPLE shitting ya freakin dork.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ulfur Engil:
I was at my job yesterday, when one lady came up to me and politely said "I hate to tell you this, but there was a small "mess" in the ladies room." So, I grab one of my female co-workers, and have her stand by the door while I go into the women's room and see what had happened...

And, behold, some fucking bitch went off and missed the fucking toilet completely, and shit right on the fucking seat. And beyond that, must have spent about three hours wiping her ass, because there was dirty toilet paper all over the seat, too.


This is the second goddamned time in a month that there was some sort of fecal mess in the women's room. (The first time, some woman in a wheelchair took a spherical dump and in turn, clogged the toilet)

The next time this happens, I am going to take a sample of her shit to a forensic scientist, find out who the whore is, and fucking kill her.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Oh, sorry, that was me. I was hoping you'd be the one to clean it up... you always seemed to enjoy scooping the shit from the litterbox at home.

Just kidding. I'll get you drunk later.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Super Spark:
i think that wank came and fucked up yer toilets bro<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shut the fuck up, Webster..

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ChloroFlora:

Oh, sorry, that was me. I was hoping you'd be the one to clean it up... you always seemed to enjoy scooping the shit from the litterbox at home.

Just kidding. I'll get you drunk later.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good...then we can get into some wild debauchery after I am finished horking.

By the way, everyone, I would like you to meet Chloroflora...aka "Mrs. MoFo"

 

hello chloraflora

 

You evil little toe-rag.... You make her sleep in a drawer.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by wank*:
I know they were drunk... but I have been so pissed I couldn't remember my name and I would never dream of doing something that.... retarded. I just don't understand those little slags anymore... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...they wouldnormally never dream of doing something like that,either...normally...when they weren't so pissed they couldn't remember their own names.
You said you were retarded,didn't you fat lezzie-blob 1?Does this mean you don't understand yourself,you little slag?Just wondering.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey:
...they wouldnormally never dream of doing something like that,either...normally...when they weren't so pissed they couldn't remember their own names.
You said you were retarded,didn't you fat lezzie-blob 1?Does this mean you don't understand yourself,you little slag?Just wondering.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


What the fuck happened to your spacebar?

I understand myself completly you dirty little cocksucker.

because I am me...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pd:
hello chloraflora<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey Pimp. We're just sitting here drinking sake and messing with our new webcam (pics of u.e.'s meat missile to follow in the SS, if I don't get shy...)

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by wank*:

What the fuck happened to your spacebar?

I understand myself completly you dirty little cocksucker.

because I am me...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You understand that you are 'too pissed to remember you're own name at times'.And that you are a dirty little cocksucking,circular turd shitting,glass in toilet breaking slag.That's fine...just checking.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ChloroFlora:
Hey Pimp. We're just sitting here drinking sake and messing with our new webcam (pics of u.e.'s meat missile to follow in the SS, if I don't get shy...)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


what r meat missles?
i think i probably know but i want 2 b sure.


<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote

who the fuck is webster?
and who the fuck r u?
and what gave u the right 2 talk 2 me?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by not so brilliant Spunk:
what r meat missles?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Um....try your best to remember the last thing you sucked on, and remember it shooting something resembling mucus into your throat..

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>And further posted by the Identity Crisis afflicted Spunk:
Who the fuck is Webster?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

God damned...is your memory as small as your skin flute, you Negroid Midget?!?!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>And further stated by the out of place Spunkster:
And what gave u the right 2 talk 2 me?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I will quote our dear friend IMC...

Shut up nigger....

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR> what r meat missles?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *points a sporky*

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Super Spark:

and what gave u the right 2 talk 2 me?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

missed this gem...

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *points at sporky again.*

 

goddmaned sparky! you are like the dumbest goddamned nigger I have ever seen!!! You are such a goddamned dumb nigger i bet you try to steal hubcaps from moving cars