I went to a Sleeeeezy truck stop titty bar last night... and had a few skanky lap dances bought for me... well one girl was one of those that is all in your face, all up on ya, rubbing titties in your face... and I got glitter in my eye. Now my eye is killing me, red and hurting. Cant get to an eye doc till tomorrow, and I have divorce Mediation at 9am tomorrow. I have flushed the fucker a million times. I think I am going to go get an eye patch and putt cotton balls behind it to keep my eye closed. I have this scary feeling that I cursed myself when I said Daryl Hannah looked cool with an eye patch in Kill Bill. Why the fuck do some strippers put glitter shit on themselves? I mean if I was a married/involved guy, I would stay away from glitter girls... you would come home covered in trashy evidence... I woke up with glitter in my hair, on my face, shirt, pants, even in my sandals.... another odd thing that happened... I was in the bathroom, and I left my purse in the car, and needed a tampon. The bathroom is used by the strippers as well.. so I yelled - "anyone gotta tampon" this one girl named "Blaze" gave me one and asked if I would help her with something... I said sure.. so I popped my plug in and came out (expecting to help her with an outfit or something) ... nope, she had just popped a plug in as well and asked me to trim the string... so I did...she inspected it.. said "no trim it more." I had left like a quarter inch on it... so she hops up on the sink, spreads her lips.. and I trim it more... she then said Thanks, and pushes it up further,,, then does free bend over leg up booty shake dance for me, asking if I could see it. after the bar closed, we left and was shocked at all the hookers in the parking lot...tried to film some, but was sober and chicken shit, all the big thuggy pimps around. Oh and earlier that night we were at a small party for my sister and I hired a big fat Genie to sing/dance for her and molest her... and she wanted to puke- not because of his looks... but as she put it "his hands smell like butthole" . SO the lesson of the night- if you are a paid performer... in any way, take a bath, and dont use glitter- you will have happier customers wonder if I could take the titty bar to court, if my eye gets bad.
I guess I just needed to write about it, the glitter came right after I posted that... cool. But my eye is still really red... so I guess I will go get the red out Visine, and hope I look normal in the morning.
Because secretly they (dancers) despise the married chicks that they feel pass judgment on them and hope it does cause trouble.
here is a video from the night ... I swear I will never go out with drunks while sober again... it is just not fun. .. oh and Truck stop strip club's lot lizard hooker's pimps get mad when you film their hos. I love filming people drunk singing... I am sure she will ask me to take it down soon.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2s85fKU8e8&feature=channel
