Michael Jackson Jokes

Hey... I know they aren't all the newest things... but its deserving...

 

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!

Q: What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words?
A: Which one's mommy?

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.

Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.

Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.

Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.

Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?
A. Hanson.

Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?
A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!

Q: What is the worst thing about making love to Michael Jackson?
A: When the crib breaks

Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, ok, can we get Aladin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.

Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids

- The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.

- FBI have raided Michael Jackson’s house... They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and class 5C in his bedroom.

- Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" "I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.

 

hi pimp

 

Hi Pimp....

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both creep into kids rooms and empty their sacks!

 

Oh yeah, I forgot to add this one earlier....

Q: What's Michael Jackson's favourite things about fucking twenty eight year olds?
A: There's twenty of them.

 

Okay.. K... I am glad you can read.. even use your mind for mild problem solving tasks.. but seriously recycling a joke that was posted not even a month ago... just sad... try harder next time....

 

fuck those jokes were gay heres a personal favorite wot do u get when u cross a chicken with a midget a migken

 

MICHAEL JACKSON GOT ARRESTED IN A VIDEO STORE BECAUSE HE SAID HE WANTED ALADIN

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by leather_face81:
fuck those jokes were gay heres a personal favorite wot do u get when u cross a chicken with a midget a migken<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shut the fuck up deputy butterface

 

Heh... A worker came into my store today from a neighboring store in the strip center and asked if I'd seen a little 10-year-old that had been missing for over an hour...

He kinda looked at me funny when I told him I hadn't seen MJ in over a week...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FrostyDaSnowPimp:
Okay.. K... I am glad you can read.. even use your mind for mild problem solving tasks.. but seriously recycling a joke that was posted not even a month ago... just sad... try harder next time....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FrostyDaSnowPimp:
Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MJ is in his 40's, so is it more original to cut and paste a 10 year old joke that originates from the first alegations made against him?

 

News just in.
Scientists in America have managed to extract some genes from Arnold Schwarzenegger and some from Michael Jackson and made a clone from them both. They are gonna call him Michael Wasanigger.

 

wasanigger i think he still is if i seen him on the street i would call him a wigger!

 

uncanny isnt it?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ratilla the hun:

uncanny isnt it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Holy shit!

 

Q: Why does Michael Jackson always dissapear for a few hours after one of his neverland parties?

A: Thats how long it takes to wash the bubblegum of his dick.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Q: Why does Michael Jackson always dissapear for a few hours after one of his neverland parties?
A: Thats how long it takes to wash the bubblegum of his dick
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm going to slit your throat and fuck the wound. My fucking fridge tells better jokes than that.

 

Rat, that is fucking scary!!!!!

 

this is scary too: