Just when I thought I'd witnessed every miracle this life ha

Today, I saw something beautiful. Something unique. Something that I'd only seen on television before... My life is now complete.

Ladies and gentlemen, I spotted a dung beetle. Not only one, but a whole shitload of them...

This is the most amazingly pathetic creature I've ever laid my damn eyes on. For those of you out there without access to any nature channels, allow me to explain what exactly a 'dung beetle' is...

This insect lives it's entire life either in shit, or carrying shit. I noticed this little fucker when I was looking at the ground next to my friend's workshop. The place has got a little bit of land, and the lazy bastard doesn't want to mow it, so he brings in sheep. This may seem insignificant to the tale at hand, but bear in mind that sheep shit. Here is where the beetle comes in. It carefully rolls up a ball of shit, then proceeds to roll it across great distances back to it's nest. Backwards, even! Once there, it will lay it's eggs inside of the shit. Much like flys, the larvae will mature, growing up in a world of shit, until they pupate and start collecting shit of thier own.

I must have seen at least 30 of these shitty little things. One time, the ball of shit was too large, and there was actually two beetles rolling the shit away. There were fast shit-rollers, slow shit-rollers, and some that just couldn't find any shit of thier own.

Can you imagine what it would be like to actually be one of these things? This would be my personal reincarnation hell, to come back as a fucking shit beetle.

 

lomo, are u drunk or high or both?

 

Well, I'm about half a 40 away from being drunk... I hope to be here in an hour or so...

I really appreciate your taking an interest in my mental state, honest.

 

so u really did find the dung beatle interesting? or are u glad that u r not it?

 

I wonder if they favor certain types of shit? Do you think they ever get a hold of some "bad shit", and start freaking out? Jesus Christ, you've got me thinking about this dung beetle. (pardon the pun) So many questions...

 

i wonder if they like human shit...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
i wonder if they like human shit...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I honestly don't know... Why don't you come visit and we'll find out?

 

they wouldnt like my shit, i eat alot of peanut butter, apples and meat - mostly chicken.

my shit would be all fibery. what about yours, lomo???

 

I'm about to go birth a monsterous turd right now... I'll be back in fifteen with a full report.

 

Well, it wasn't quite what I'd expected. It was kinda like a mushy, low viscosity string that came out. The odor was unmistakable, but there really wasn't that much 'substance' in the bowl when I got up. Definitely not good for rolling into balls...

It's gotta be the 40's.

 

slo-mo.... has the japscat film crew been round yet?...

kitana... a sheep eats grass all day, it's shit's gotta have more fibre than yours... those beetles will probably really enjoy the extra crunchy nuttiness of your anal logs

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lomotil:
Well, it wasn't quite what I'd expected. It was kinda like a mushy, low viscosity string that came out. The odor was unmistakable, but there really wasn't that much 'substance' in the bowl when I got up. Definitely not good for rolling into balls...

It's gotta be the 40's.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

alcohol can do that to u...
why didnt u take a pic of it and post it on the forums?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
kitana... a sheep eats grass all day, it's shit's gotta have more fibre than yours... those beetles will probably really enjoy the extra crunchy nuttiness of your anal logs<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

what?!? my anal logs are not extra crunchy! the peanut butter that i eat is Peter Pan Reduced Fat Creamy.

 

ah... so you use the p/nut butter intended for babies and pensioners then....

peter pan creamy eh?.. makes me think of that that fag's page who dresses like peter pan...
oh no wait.. the visions getting worse.. ohmigod he's not!!... eurgh he is ...

i think i'll stay with the sun-pat crunchy

 

Pimp, so you are the one with the crunchy anal logs???

 

yes, but i don't live in the same state as lomotil, (where the dung beetles are bigger than non-american/texan beetles.. everythings bigger in texas)
i suppose i could fed-ex some over.. but isn't that taking it a bit far... just get some peanuts in your poop and shit in lomo's yard, he might even 'show you his puppy'

 

i wouldn't imagine so kitana... i don't even think they have those turd troopers over here, and if they did... they'd be weedy.. we have quite a deficiency of impressive flora and fauna over here... only one poisonous snake and the odd species of spider that stows away on a banana shipment or something....

yards, details, does it matter... lomo's vicinity then

puppy?.. yes probably...

 

Pimp: there has to be turd rollers in the UK

you probably just dont know about them.


Lomo: i want to see your puppy

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
yes, but i don't live in the same state as lomotil, (where the dung beetles are bigger than non-american/texan beetles.. everythings bigger in texas)
i suppose i could fed-ex some over.. but isn't that taking it a bit far... just get some peanuts in your poop and shit in lomo's yard, he might even 'show you his puppy'<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I just might... but then again, probably not. Kit'd probably get on one of her castration fits and search house-to-house to try and find the little bastard...

As far as the peanut butter goes, I'm a fan of "Laura Schudders" (Sp?) Natural peanut butter... It's like the old-fashioned shit that you had to stir before you spread, as the oils seperate to the top... Damn, that shit was good.

Still ain't as viscous as that turd I laid, though.....