Jon Bon Jovi

I just heard him do, "Levon". It's as shitty as hearing Metallica do "Turn the Page."

I think now when I am washing my comforter in the washing machine and jamming it under water, instead of pretending it's Bret Michaels's head, I will pretend it's his.

 

you are so fucking sweet.

that is why you are the fugly diva.

 

What made me "sweet"?

 

Because you have a very astute taste in music. Unlike the other chicks your age who cream everytime they see that queen, because they loved his "slippery when wet" album and that is what they lost their virginity to, and so on.

Not like you are a sweet person(which you might be too), but like SWWWWWEEEEEETT.

 

You've been around some fast bitches. I was like in third grade when that album came out. Mine was the Lemonheads "Creator" CD. It had been out for several years, but it was new to me in 94.

 

There is a Charles Manson song on that CD. I didn't know it at the time.

 

I like that one scene in Spaceballs where "Raise your Hands" is playng when Barf and Lonestar are in their Winnebago. But yeah, Bon Jovi is lame.

 

I saw Bon Jovi begging for spare change in front of the Waffle house once. I kicked him in the face, and took his styrofoam cup of change.

 

I ripped up his spandex pants in 1987 and he cried, so we kicked him off the tour bus and left him in Oklahoma with some truckers.