Are you so dumb that you actually believe that Jesus loves faggots? In a recent interview, Jesus dispells all myths that he supports any sort of gay lifestyle. If you are gay and you don't believe that Jesus hates you, read on. You may be surprised to find out the real truth straight from the mouth of the Son of God. Are you a homosexual? Do you think it's okay to have sex with men and then turn around and go to church and worship God and Jesus? Are you really THAT screwed up? This interview with Jesus was conducted specifically with screwed-up homosexuals like you in mind. Jesus hates your guts for being gay, and he isn't afraid to say so. Jesus isn't the only one who hates your perverted lifestyle. Your parents and your friends...who have been telling you that they understand your "alternative lifestyle"--hate you deep down as well. Go ahead. Parade up and down the streets and try to make everyone believe that being a homosexual is acceptable and okay. You know it's really a lie. It's a lie that you've made up to try and delude yourself into thinking that your deformed psyche and personality are actually acceptable. The Bible is where all truth lies. Anyone who knows God knows that anyone who believes in anything other than God and the Bible is sinful and wrong. There has been a great deal of controversy of late about whether or not a person can be both a Christian and a homosexual. To straighten out all the facts underlying this most confusing issue, we went directly to the source and interviewed Jesus himself to get his views on this topic. This interview is by no means meant to be one-sided or opinionated. We are simply presenting views expressed by the blessed individual himself. If you haven't found Jesus, you haven't been looking very hard. He is, in fact, very easy to find. Fortunately, we happened to have a tape recorder with us when we found him. When we approached Jesus, he was sitting on a stone looking rather pensive and disturbed. He was pleased to answer each and every one of our questions. Hello Jesus. That's a nice stone you're sitting on. Thank you, my son. I understand you want to ask me some questions about homosexuality. That is correct. How do you feel about homosexuality? Is it okay to be gay? To be honest with you, I'd have to say that I hate goddamn faggots. They make me so sick with all their stupid little gestures, their silly voices, and the dumb clothes they wear. Do I think it's okay to be gay? Certainly not. My Father taught me that homosexuals are the scum of the earth, and I believe every word that my Father says. Can a person be both a Christian and a Homosexual? Only if he's got his head way, way, WAY up his ass! Only an idiot would say he believes in God and the turn around and stick his carrot inside another man's mystery hole. I can say with utmost certainty that Christianity and Homosexuality DO NOT mix. Would you forgive a person for being gay if he loved you? I don't forgive nobody for nothing. What did God tell you about Homosexuality? When I was only 5 years old, God greased up my carrot and held it in his hand. As he lovingly stroked my onions he told me, "Son, don't you ever let any man do what I'm doing to you right now. Only stick your carrot into barnholes. Carrots go into barnholes. Got that? Don't you go sticking your carrot into another man's mouth or mystery hole...or you'll DIE and go to HELL." And did you believe him? I sure did! If I hadn't believed what he told me, you can bet I would have acted on my desires long ago and jumped every man on earth. What? What did you say?!? Don't you get it? All men are homosexuals! But God says it's wrong, so no one is supposed to act on their true desires! That's the basis of Christianity. You're not supposed to do the things you really want to do. Next question. How big are you, Jesus? As you might have guessed, I have a huge carrot and I'm uncut. You can hold it if you like. No...wait. That would be wrong. Very, very wrong. What does the Bible say about Homosexuality? In the Book of Romans: "Thou shalt only put thy greased up carrot into barnholes." In the Book of Moses: "And God said, 'You are a bunch of stupid faggots and I hate you all.'" In the Book of Corintheans: "Screw off, you filthy homosexual pigs! You're all a bunch of retarded perverts! God vomits all over you, you stupid morons!" In the Book of Proverbs: "Don't give into your desires. It is best to live a lie for your entire life." For further information, obtain these brochures: A. "Jesus Used His Carrot the Right Way" B. "God Hates People That Use Drugs" C. "What Does God's Semen Taste Like?" D."Satan is a Stupid Fag, Just Like You"
The Bible and Christianity in all its forms have been the cause of so much misery in this world...It's 200 years past the Enlightenment and we're still dealing with this kind of nonsense? Pimp, the Bible is a MYTH. The fact that you believe otherwise is testimony to the failure of the US educational system to promote independent, critical thought, which, if exercised for a nanosecond, would reveal serious flaws and contradictions in the notion of the existence of a omnipotent and wholly good (i.e., Christian) God - or any god, for that matter. The result is a population that ranks last in the top twenty industrialised nations for it's levels of scientific literacy. You're right out of a time-machine, Pimp. Actually, your post is simply a joke drenched in sarcasm, isn't it? Ah, serves me right for posting at 5:00 am! You're such a sly, dry wit... ------------------ We are as genitals unto the gods. They play with us for their pleasure. —Lord Melchett, Blackadder II, 1985
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Skully: The Bible and Christianity in all its forms have been the cause of so much misery in this world...It's 200 years past the Enlightenment and we're still dealing with this kind of nonsense? Pimp, the Bible is a MYTH. The fact that you believe otherwise is testimony to the failure of the US educational system to promote independent, critical thought, which, if exercised for a nanosecond, would reveal serious flaws and contradictions in the notion of the existence of a omnipotent and wholly good (i.e., Christian) God - or any god, for that matter. The result is a population that ranks last in the top twenty industrialised nations for it's levels of scientific literacy. You're right out of a time-machine, Pimp. Actually, your post is simply a joke drenched in sarcasm, isn't it? Ah, serves me right for posting at 5:00 am! You're such a sly, dry wit... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> hahahahaha.... lets all laugh at skully!! yes it was a piss-take.... and i have a british education stoopid... if you'd kept up, you would know that i live in london, i have not made a secret of the fact....
Yes, yes, yes...let's all enjoy a big round of laughter!! Of course, I do deserve it, but you can hardly blame me: I only took a cursory glance at your post, which is super-loooooong, even by my standards. By the fourth paragraph, and this is no slight against your writing skills, I thought, "fuck it, I can't read another 20 paragraphs of this shit! Time to post!" Now if you'll pardon me, I have some carrots to grease up. ------------------ We are as genitals unto the gods. They play with us for their pleasure. —Lord Melchett, Blackadder II, 1985
A little light reading.... This is taken from 'Bible Myths' by TW Doane: "There is no credible evidence whatsoever for the existence of Jesus. No archaeological evidence, no written evidence, nothing. So it is with Solomon, Moses, David, Abraham, Samson, and countless other biblical 'stars'. All we have is the Levite texts and the Gospel stories in their various versions. So desperate did the religious manipulators become to cross-reference 'Jesus', that they inserted a pathetically obvious addition into the works of the Jewish historian. Josephus, to support the unsupportable. More than forty writers are known to have chronicled the events of these lands during the alleged time of Jesus, but they don't mention him. A guy who did all the things that he was supposed to have done, and no records of it? Philo lived throughout the supposed life of Jesus, and he wrote a history of the Judeans which covered the whole of this period. He even lived in or near Jerusalem when Jesus was to said to have been born, and Herod was supposed to have killed the children, yet he doesn't record any of this. He was there when Jesus was said to have made his triumphant arrival in Jerusalem and when he was crucified and rose from the dead on the third day. What does Philo say about these fantastic events? Nothing. Not a syllable. None of this is mentioned in any Roman record or in the contemporary accounts of the writers of Greece and Alexandria who were familiar with what happened there. Why? Because it didn't happen. It was a symbolic, coded story to pass on esoteric and astrological knowledge of many kinds, most crucially, to create another prison-religion based on the symbols of the Babylonian Brotherhood. The human race has been deceived." please don't accuse me of being a willingly blindfolded god-botherer you prickstick.... in fact don't take anything i ever post on this forum that pertains to religion as either fact OR fiction... i believe in everything and nothing... everything is false.. yet also the truth... have you ever heard of agnosticism... matters of faith cannot be proved... but by the same token ... they cannot be disproved.. so i choose to suspend any decisions i will make until someone or something can convince me otherwise... and it will be a tough job.... many a door to door god botherer has fled from my doorstep when i have caused him to question his blind faith....
A bit of Food for your Thoughts... A Tibetan story tells of a meditation student who, while meditating in his room, believed he saw a spider descending in front of him. Each day the menacing creature returned, growing larger and larger each time.... So frightened was the student, that he went to his teacher to report his dilemma... He said he planned to place a knife in his lap during meditation, so when the spider appeared he would kill it.... The teacher advised him against this plan... Instead, he suggested, bring a piece of chalk to meditation, and when the spider appeared, mark an X on its belly. Then report back.... The student returned to his meditation. When the spider again appeared, he resisted the urge to attack it, and instead did just what the master suggested. When he later reported back to the master, the teacher told him to lift up his shirt and look at his own belly. There was the X.
Hehehe...Skully...give it awhile m8...and you might get use to some of PimpDaddys..insomnious dribble...it's all he has to pass the time...bless. ------------------ Once the sun shone out of my arse...must have farted....damn that muscle control!
the spider was himself ... obviously... it was the product/visualisation of his meditative thoughts..... as his meditation got stronger.. the spider grew larger... it is sortof a tale about facing the demons/fears inside of us.... have you ever heard the poem.. The Tiger... In a still forest pool, Reflected I reflect... Do I scare others, As much as i scare myself? an excellent poem... one of, if not my favourite poem.... simple and with deep meaning
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Clydie Scope: Hehehe...Skully...give it awhile m8...and you might get use to some of PimpDaddys..insomnious dribble...it's all he has to pass the time...bless. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Clydie will you stop bitching at pimpdaddy!.. and pimpdaddy stop retaliating...Jeez,and you say you aint fustrated...Pah... ------------------ Aardvark-Zyrian
is that a thinly veiled.. if only you know what you're missing out on barb?? i do... and i'm not missing it... all i have eh?? if only you knew did you think i would break up with you without something to fall back on??
and you are right pinky... this forum is not the place ..... no more shall emanate from my fingertips on this matter
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy: the spider was himself ... obviously... it was the product/visualisation of his meditative thoughts..... as his meditation got stronger.. the spider grew larger... it is sortof a tale about facing the demons/fears inside of us.... have you ever heard the poem.. The Tiger... In a still forest pool, Reflected I reflect... Do I scare others, As much as i scare myself? an excellent poem... one of, if not my favourite poem.... simple and with deep meaning<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There is one thing that bothers me about that little fable and thats is if the supposed meditation student was in Tibet I assume he was a believer of Budda.And one Budda's first and strongest beliefs is that all life is sacred and should never be taken without warrant. But the student was thinking of killing the spider..No make sense to me ... ------------------ Aardvark-Zyrian
he was but a student... students are not known for their wise ways... and there's an anti killing creepy-crawly element to it as well...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Clydie Scope: Hehehe...Skully...give it awhile m8...and you might get use to some of PimpDaddys..insomnious dribble...it's all he has to pass the time...bless. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yup. Pimp's got some strange thoughts...I guess that makes him a deep thinker or something. That Jesus thing sounds dubious, though. No historical proof whatsoever? I thought otherwise. According to Cecil Adams (and you all know who he is, right?): "If what you're looking for is proof positive that Jesus Christ lived and breathed--e.g., library card, baby pictures, etc.--you're out of luck. The big guy left no written records, and no accounts of his life were written while he was still alive. The earliest Gospels date from maybe 70 AD, 40 years after his demise. Still, barring an actual conspiracy, 40 years is too short a time for an entirely mythical Christ to have been fabricated out of (heh-heh) whole cloth. Certainly the non-Christians who wrote about him in the years following his putative death did not doubt he had once lived. The Roman historian Tacitus, writing in his Annals around 110 AD, mentions one "Christ, whom the procurator Pontius Pilate had executed in the reign of Tiberius." The Jewish historian Josephus remarks on the stoning of "James, the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ." The Talmud, a collection of Jewish writings, also refers to Christ, although it says he was the illegitimate son of a Roman soldier called Panther. Doubts about the historicity of Christ did not surface until the 18th century. In short, whether or not JC was truly the Son of God, he was probably the son of somebody." THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!!! As for being an agnostic...well, that's just being a wishy-washy athiest. "There's nothing an agnostic can or can't do if he doesn't really believe in anything or not." - Monty Python
i was an agnostic yesterday.... but being the flighty minded type... i had a dream last night... and my true destiny was revealed to me....... I will meet my life mate in mere days... and we shall have a child A child who is sired by a Father who is the ultimate warrior male, the embodiment of instinct and emotion, The human representative of the strength of nature. The Mother is the opposite of the father, the embodiment of womans spirituality, the closest living being to enlightenment, who's past incarnations can be followed back for as long as records have been kept. She is diametrically the opposite to me, but is drawn to me although it is forbidden. We are the incarnation of the very first man and woman the creator put on the Earth. The original couple were created as a ying and a yang, they were the total opposite of each other, yet complemented each other perfectly. They were supposed to live forever, in a world created especially for them. But they reproduced despite the expressed wishes of their creator, And so were punished with Mortality. The offspring they produced were neither ying nor yang, they were an imperfect amalgam of, instinct and emotion, and serenity and intelligence. The creator left his world to the rising population of humans descended from the original couple. Though before he left, he told the shamed pair the way that their mistake would be rectified. After the couple die, their souls will be re-incarnated, they will have the same purity of spirit. Eventually the souls will re-unite, when they do the offspring will be a perfect blend of animal and spiritual. When the child reaches maturity, he will become as powerful as a god, and will cleanse the Earth of Evil and Sin, the negative manifestations of instinct combined with Intelligence.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pink: he was but a student in tibet<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Maybe he was a student. The kind that go backpacking around the third world,stopping in peasants huts and swap beads for food. Invariably they wander into the middle of a civil war and end up getting led round the mountains blindfold for six months.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy: have you ever heard the poem.. The Tiger... In a still forest pool, Reflected I reflect... Do I scare others, As much as i scare myself? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I can safely say i scare myself more than i scare others.Except for when i am off my head in a nightclub bombing around on extacy and speed like a demented huggy mongoloid then i can safely say i definately scare others more.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy: have you ever heard the poem.. The Tiger... In a still forest pool, Reflected I reflect... Do I scare others, As much as i scare myself? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
