Jason gets more phonecalls than I do. Jason gets calls almost 24/7. The majority of the messages left on my answering machine are for Jason. Unless I have multiple personalities, Jason and I have the same telephone number. I have no fucking clue who Jason is!! I have reason to believe that he is/works for the county prosecutor. A woman called for him yesterday and asked me if I was an employee at the prosecutor's office. ~no, bitch~ Then Bill Fisher calls and leaves a message (@ 9:30 in the goddamn morning :mad seeking Jason's "professional advice." Now, I could have some fun with this. Any ideas what I should tell these people? I was thinking boating accident or heart attack...
tell them you were jason, but you changed sexes and became jasmin or something. better still do something which goes a little like this: caller: i'm phoning for jason, i'm his buttbuddy blahblah, i want to talk about charts n shit blahblah. if this is a message, recorded from earlier then ring them back. otherwise, intercept the call before he hangs up and say: "i'm sorry, i'm X(random sluty girly name), jasons personal assistant, who is it? after they give you the name say: "please hold i'll get him for you" then put your hand over the phone and pretend to strike up a conversation with an invisible jason, saying, blah is on the phone and wants to speak to you. then, in a deep a voice as you can, say: "i dont wanna talk to no stinking blah, i want you! now baby, you look so hot, put that headset down" then make as many groaning, moaning and general pleasurable noises as you can before saying, puffing and panting "no, *phew*, hes not *pant* available right now, could i please take a... get that away from me you brute.. message." take the message and hang up..
Shit... sounds like my phone line - I've been here for 5 years, and I still get calls for a "Kenny Fisher" - apparently a pianist that gets many fucking calls to come perform for various causes...
Once a guy called my house and ordered a fucking pizza. I told we'd be there in 30 mins or less. I wonder if he's still waiting....
