Maybe not but I thought it was pretty funny anyway. THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER * 8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses. * 8.30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday. * 8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner. * 9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil. *10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer. * 10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry. * 12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe. * 12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she as gained 7kg. * 1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit. * 3.00 Nap. * 4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer. * 4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body. * 5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror. * 7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers. * 10.00 Hot shower (alone). * 10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen). * 11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. * 11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms. THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM * 6.00 Alarm. * 6.15 Blow job. * 6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section. * 7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench. * 7.30 Limo arrives. * 7.45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport. * 9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet. * 9.30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route). * 11.45 Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of DomPerignon. * 12.15 Blow job. * 12.30 Play back nine (4 under). * 2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys). * 2.30 Fly to Monte Carlo. female crew (all nude). * 4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle. * 5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson. * 6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave. * 7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and porn legalised. * 7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a pair of tits. * 9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch international match of the day; England beating Germany 11-0. * 9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies). * 11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale. * 11.30 A night cap blowjob. * 11.45 In bed alone. * 11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times, dog leaves the room, giggle yourself to sleep.
PERFECT DAY- FOR STRANGER *9:00 Awake to the sounds of silence. Realise I don’t actually have to get up. Roll over and go back to sleep. *10:00 Wake to a gentle kiss from lover, who has finished all the housework and made me breakfast. Coffee, bacon and eggs. *10:30 Headjob as I lie back and smoke my free, non-cancer forming cigarette. *11:00 Take a stroll through the rainforest in my backyard and discover a 7ft plant of prime golden heads ready for the picking. *11:10. Swim naked with my babe under the waterfall as the buds dry. *11:30 Make love on the rocks, which surprisingly don’t chafe my ass. *1:30 Smoke dried buds and find they are even better than imagined. *2:00 Lie back and sun bake while my babe feeds me strawberries and plays love songs he has written for me on his guitar. *4:00 Stroll back to the house drinking a can of Wild Turkey and coke. *4:30 Open mail to find I have won the lottery and my ex has just been killed in a car accident leaving me his life insurance. *5:00. My obedient and faithfully dog brings me the paper. Babe massages my feet. *5:05. Reads “A young woman from Essex was brutally beaten to death by her jealous, punk boyfriend. He had walked in to find her giving head to her mentally impaired friend. The ever-protective friend shot him before turning the gun on himself.” *5:10. Discover that comics have replaced the sports section and racing guide. *6:00 Watch Southpark as naked babe cooks dinner and brings me Wild Turkeys. *7:00 Eats Lobster Mornay and Profiteroles with hot chocolate sauce for desert. *8:00 Hot soak in the bath while babe does the dishes. *8:30 Looking absolutely fabulous in my new dress, lover can’t help but give me another headjob on the kitchen bench. *9:15. Into my purple Corvette Stingray and head to the club. I drive, there are no speed limits and I do, in fact, own the road. *9:30. Arrive at the club to find Jean Michael Jerre is performing. They are handing out acid at the door, no cover charge & free drinks. *9:35 No line up for the bar. Down 3 Black Sambucas and flirt outrageously with several gorgeous men. *10:00 Drop trip. Drink another Turkey *10:30 Find my man has been waiting patiently for my return. *11:00 Dirty dance in a mesmerised daze as I watch the spectacular light show. *12:00 Smoke a joint, dance, chat, smoke joint, chat, dance…. *3:00. Meet the 150th charming, witty, intelligent person that night. Share a joint. *3:30. Chauffeur driven back to my place for a jam session and cones in front of the fire. 10 old friends, 10 new friends and my babe. *5:00. Everyone goes home, quickly cleaning up their mess before they leave. *5:05 Stumble into bed and make love as the sun comes up. Babe does all the work. *6:00. The trip has totally worn off and I drift off into peaceful, uninterrupted sleep for the next 10hrs.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger: *10:30 Headjob as I lie back and smoke my free, non-cancer forming cigarette. *8:30 lover can’t help but give me another headjob on the kitchen bench. *9:15.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So!You have a cock!!!!!Why didn't you just say!?!!It explains a lot!
PERFECT DAY- FOR KITANA 6:30AM wake up, carefully crawl down off of top bunk 7AM eat breakfast, mom's homemade biscuits 8AM to work - Surgeon for Spohn Hospital no deaths, all successful operations. 5PM back home, snack on something light 6PM online being my cyberslut self i am easy to please
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey: Originally posted by Stranger: *10:30 Headjob as I lie back and smoke my free, non-cancer forming cigarette. *8:30 lover can’t help but give me another headjob on the kitchen bench. *9:15. So!You have a cock!!!!!Why didn't you just say!?!!It explains a lot! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Muffin munch? Growl out? Oral? What do you call it? Pimp's telling lies Nursey. Guys aren't the only ones who can get head. Other girls get em, make him give you one too. You'll love it.
Well i have a tiny little clit,not a big sturdy,hulking specimen as your term 'giving head' -when used to describe cunnilingus- conjures in my mind.And you call your guy 'babe'...i bet he's pretty emasculated by you and your strapping,hook nosed,manly jawed 'sheila' treatment of him.
my perfect day would invole a handgun and alot of YOU motherfuckers dying for no reason whatsoever... The end...
