I had sex last night..................with a girl!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Honkey Kong:
I had sex last night.................. but the damn alarm clock kept waking me up. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

maybe you ought to quit it with that cadbury egg picture already.

 

What can I say? It reminds me of when I was a kid and the Easter Bunny took me into the mall bathroom and showed me his eggs...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Honkey Kong:
At least I know that 'action' consists of more than giving hickeys to dead animals.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

whut?!? i dont give hickies to dead animals

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Honkey Kong:
What can I say? It reminds me of when I was a kid and the Easter Bunny took me into the mall bathroom and showed me his eggs...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

so that explains it...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger:
Matthew, you gotta look at the dinner thing as an investment. If you invest your money wisely you get returns.
ie paying for dinner one night could lead to free sex for the rest of your life, saving you thousands in the long run. You've only gotta get laid twice to make your money back (give or take, depending on the quality of your dinners and hookers)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Granted, you might be able to get more with "investing". Although, the quality seriously depreciates over time. Have you ever had a long term girlfriend? Its great at first but then comes the bitching. The crying, the cops arresting you for hitting her, her wanting you to stop shooting meth. Its horrible! You should seriously consider crack whores. If you catch them really early they look really good!!! (the trick is catch them right after they start to loose teeth but before they start to loose hair). They dont care what you do to them! This works great for me. I hang with my friends and then go beat and screw some hookers later that night.

 

Matthew: ROFL!
u have to pay to have sex...u sorry little boy

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by KitanA 4evr:
Matthew: ROFL!
u have to pay to have sex...u sorry little boy <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Correction. I CHOOSE to pay for sex.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
Correction. I CHOOSE to pay for sex.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

so...if u didnt pay, u wouldnt get any

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
Granted, you might be able to get more with "investing". Although, the quality seriously depreciates over time. Have you ever had a long term girlfriend? Its great at first but then comes the bitching. The crying, the cops arresting you for hitting her, her wanting you to stop shooting meth. Its horrible! You should seriously consider crack whores. If you catch them really early they look really good!!! (the trick is catch them right after they start to loose teeth but before they start to loose hair). They dont care what you do to them! This works great for me. I hang with my friends and then go beat and screw some hookers later that night.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's pretty good going Mathew!You seem to have that all pretty well rationalised there...i'm impressed!
And...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote

...is the kind of shrewdness that wins a good deal of my respect!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rattila the hon:
after having many 2 for 1 cocktails at Applebee's, i unsuccessfully hit on my waiter who actually rapped the dessert menu to me. while having a fit of laughter at his witty antics, a hunk of snot flew from my nose and almost hit my friend who was sitting beside me. needless to say, i didnt hook up with the waiter. later that evening i was joking with some friends and repeating a story and exclaimed, "I'M A LESBIAN" loud enough to be heard over the thumping club muzak. A few minutes later a blonde chick in black patent leather spiked heels asked me if I did indeed say I was a lezzy. I told her yeah, I said it, but i didnt mean it. She then proceeded to tell me her shoes were from Italy and that she was from Bulgaria and going to school to be an actress. I laughed and more snot flew. she left me standing there and started dancing with some dude in a knitted skull cap thingy, more suited for winter weather, not Spring Break Florida weather. the whole story ends with me going home alone, and far too drunk to even masturbate. i did manage to snake some antibiotics from my doc so i dont snot on everyone i meet anymore. tonight i am heading for the island to find me some spring break booty. wish me luck. i'll need it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Once you clear up the snot flinging thing,you should be good to go. But if not you can fly up here and I'll give you a ride on the skin bus.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg the Pissed:
I got some last night as well!!

*HIGH FIVES*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Big high five right back at you Chessy.

Life is good.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Splatteriffic:
Yes,it's true. After 6 long months ole' GAS got him some last night. And she was pretty fucking hot too,I'm proud of myself.

Actually,I've pretty much been having to fend off chicks since I got to Michigan,must be something in the water...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And here's a little update: I'm supposed to go out with the same girl's friend this weekend. And we all work together. This should get interesting,I'll keep everyone posted...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Splatteriffic:
And here's a little update: I'm supposed to go out with the same girl's friend this weekend. And we all work together. This should get interesting,I'll keep everyone posted...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

if they're coke snorting waitresses it may work out well for you- they are always the sluttiest.

my update:
I stopped honking snot rockets at people and got hit on by two guys at once, who ended up getting in a fight with each other. one claimed to be a buddhist, so the NY'er dude asked him if he ate pussy. According to Mr. NY, buddhists dont engage in oral pleasures. The buddhist guy never answered the question so it remains a mystery to me. i blew both of them off, bought some coke and fucked my nose up some more. now its all snotty again and i havent gotten any dick. spring break rawks!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rattila the hon:
if they're coke snorting waitresses it may work out well for you- they are always the sluttiest.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Splatteriffic:

I'd still bang you Rat,snotty nose and all.

Have you thought about carrying around you're ass pic from Fugly? Might do you some good,guys love half-nekked internet chicks...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

oh shucks, i'm flattered, Splatter! the real issue is not that i
can't get dick, its just that i cant get the dick i really want. usually what happens is that i meet some guy and then one of my girlfriends tells them my ass is on the internet. if i like them i tell them where to find it. if i reeeeallly like the guy i just pull my pants down and show him in person. or, i blow hunks of snot at him. which i did last week over dinner. and he hasnt called me since. dammnit.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rattila the hon:
just that i cant get the dick i really want.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I thought I made it perfectly clear... my prices are pretty stiff, too.

 

I wouldn't touch this subject for all the black people in Africa. Well.... maybe if I got to shoot some of them.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Splatteriffic:
Yes,it's true. After 6 long months ole' GAS got him some last night. And she was pretty fucking hot too,I'm proud of myself.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Was she sober? Or drunk and loose a a goose?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bob_dole:

Was she sober? Or drunk and loose a a goose?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


We were both pretty drunk. But we got busy again in the morning so I assume she wanted me in the first place. Well,hopefully anyway...

 

Some girls will do anything for a car ride home.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous:
Some girls will do anything for a car ride home.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll be a car ride home giving motherfucker if get gets me laid regularly...