HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE...: 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice) 3. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) 4. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom." 5. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. 6. Insist that your e-mail address be Xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com Elvis_the_King@companyname.com 7. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 8. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'. 9. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that." 10. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has otten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 11. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for intimate favors'. 12. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." 13. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 14. Dont use any punctuation 15. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 16. Ask people what sex they are. 17. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'. 18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Finland Dudes's Signature: - Master Jedi Pimp -<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> it has been said....
o .. im new here so ... "i dont give a fuck about you babe you can suck my dick all day , and if you like to turn me on babe, put that fuckin' mask on your face"
What shall i do now Pimp!!?!I can't reach your saber with FinlandDude blocking the way,and he knows about my 'coital facade'!!!
use your jedi mind trick to distract him, then rip his dick off, throw salt at the bloody gash between his legs.. then as he opens his mouth to scream, ram that piece of excess flesh down his throat... as he chokes on his own cock.. hit him in the centre of the chest with the force required to splinter his sternum and send shards of it into his heart... then step over his twitching body to come play with my lightsaber, this is one blade you can put in your mouth
Oh, never mind the bollocks of all that fiddly ripping & salting & sternum-splintering - who's got the time? Nothing beats the clean, quick precision of a power-palm angled up at the nose, driving the bone into the forebrain & causing near-instantaneous death (or at least absolutely instantaneous distraction). Bonus is the really goofy expression they get - that cross-eyed, flat-nosed expression of disheartened surprise, like Wil-E Coyote taking a header into a thick window.
shame on you emetic... think of the pathology report and pictures that'd make their way onto the net...
Oh, right..forgot about that. Force of professional habit to resort first to more subtle methods; my bad.
