Got some symptoms? I will diagnose your illness

I'm crushed.

I think I'll kill myself now that everyone knows the truth about me.

Oh, and my wife said to tell you that you are not nice and that she is not hirsute because she shaves every day just for to prevent it. And she recommended elective surgery for you. She feels that you should have a surgeon cut your lips off and sew them on your asshole so that deaf people could understand what you are saying when you talk.

Barry

 

Can't you get her to type more of your posts?

 

We had a lightning strike that took out my router. My computer has a connection, hers is dead. She got bored with the computer pretty quick anyway. She much prefers to watch Tv or sleep.

and she hates this forum.

Barry

 

and so do I....


Diagnosis, the clap that deserves no aPPLUAse... I am calling veronica over tonight, so I can hit her in the head with a brick until she is half retarded

 

I am sorry for being so mean to you Dan.

If everyone promises to stroke your ego by playing along with the theme of this thread, will you be our Doctor again?

I hope so. I really miss you.

Sincerely,

Barry

 

No can do. Not on vacation anymore. Got real patients now some of whom are barely holding on the life.

 

Do you ever stand on their oxygen line just to watch them panic?

I worked in a Nursing home once. The airline trick is almost as much fun as putting the bedpan in the freezer.

Barry

 

I don't recall bringing this topic up - but while you're on it... a serious question...
How exactly do you feel about naturalistic healing "bullshit",as you put it? I'm not sure what practice you are going into, but I am just curious as to your opinion on "alternative" medicine - for lack of a better term. I don't mean laying on hands bullshit or the like - mainly herbal, and natural treatments as opposed to pharmaceuticals. If there are studies supporting the use of certain natural remedies - how quick would you suggest to someone, say for example the use of a glucosamine/chondroiton regime as opposed to NSAIDs? Yeah, I know only short term studies have been done, but thats only one example right off thetop of my head. Anyways, the point of my question, I'm honestly just curious to know if you, as a person entering the medical profession, would openly discuss such alternatives with your patient, if they are interested, or would you shut it down completely and steer them exclusively towards the use of pharms?

I'm looking for an objective, professional opinion - if you feel the need to go on a rant about chicks being stupid, or just can't bring yourself to seriously respond, please feel free not to respond....or die - whichever suits you.

 

If it works it's not longer "alternative medicine". No? See that naturalistic and alternative medicines are bullshit just based upoin the definition.

 

Anyway I have already changed my opinion on the women doctors. I met a couple more smart ones recently.

 

How did you determine that that were smart?

Did they ignore you like you were a sniveling little brat? Was that the clue?

Oh, dang. there I go again. Sorry Dan.

I do have an issue that I need help with. I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. I am on a C PAP machine, and it really seems to help. The only problem is that the mask seems to cause an allergic reaction on my skin around my nose. I switched to a non latex mask, and it was actually worse. Any ideas?

Barry

 

Stop being such a pussy, that's my suggestion. If you'd worked out and maintained your physical health, you wouldn't need that crap. And according to you, you sure do got the finances to afford all the affordable luxuries like healthy food and diet supplements like herbs, vitamins and the like. Take charge of your health instead of taking it for granted until the day it starts crapping out.

 

Thats funny as shit, Im sneaking into mt lawn nursing center tommrow to do tha t

 

And for young children with no underlying illnesses/weight issues that suffer from sleep apnea, or newborns whos mothers followed a healthy diet and regimen during their pregnancy for that matter...what do you suggest to them Dr. Smurfslappa?
According to you only poor fat unhealthy people suffer from sleep apnea - you should write a book, fix the system - set everyone straight on the matter.

Barry - I don't know how mild or severe your sleep apnea is - but my youngest brother had to wear a dental appliance and this eased his problem. Guess it just all depends on the severity and cause...

 

Udiot. :roll:

 

Smurgslappa is making alot more sense than you. Fuckn obese people they are the ones with sleep apnea.

 

Way to quote, Doc.

 

Not all unhealthy people are fat. And not all people who think they're following a healthy diet actually are. And if they do, then some of them are stupid and spray Raid around their pantries and refrigerator. Or maybe they never practiced a healthy lifestyle or have lost touch with some instinctive traits, like good breathing techniques. Somewhere down the line, there is a cause for someone's sleep apnea.

The fact that more obese people get it than not would lead me to think that it's their own, or for some babies, their parent's fault. My basic point, they weren't meant to live. Shave them off, the Gene Toilet must be flushed of any shit and sparkle once again.

This Barry obviously is one of the Sleep Apnea by Fat Induction Peoples, or SAFIP's. Some healthy dieting, excercise, and everyday practices that we take for granted but are actually important to our overall health, like allowing a sneeze to escape instead of hold it in or breathing into our abdomens, should become a part of his life.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

 

dan, please dont encorage big daddy diaz,