In a memo dated 11/15/2007 a medical examiner with the Cook County Medical examiners office stated that the office was dispatched to a high rise condominium on Chicagos East side. On the scene they found Archabald Phillip Morris, a.k.a Phillip Calvin McGraw, a.k.a. Dr. Phil dead of apparent asphyxiation. A complete and total lack of oxygen was identified as cause of death. Off the record the M.E. stated that Dr. Phil had his head so far up Oprahs anal cavity that he suffocated. Instead of removing his head from her anus, he hoped that she would flatulate to keep him alive. When interviewed his wife Robin said that she had been worried that Phil had became a Jenkem junky, after she repeatedly found brown stains on his color, when approached he became very defensive arguing that she 'didnt know the pressure he was under'. Apparently there is a new way to 'freebase' the new Jenkem fad drug. *This may or may not be complete BullCrap
