in my big baggy pants thinking im so cool. im the anti-establishment-establishment. going to go shoot the shit with the people in the deli about the good old days then go bitch to the manager of wal mart about how slow those bastards in the deli were. hang onto the clothing racks, hoping no one will notice how drunk and/or high i am. watch kids kick and scream till thier parents give them a quarter so they can watch thier bubble gum go down the bubble gum rollercoaster and end up being stuffed into thier mouth so they can finally stop CRYING. go ahead and have your family reunion in the middle of the aisle as im trying to pass by i dont mind, REALLY!
That was funny as hell! Are you talking about Super Wal*Mart or just plain old Wal*Mart? Oh hell, like it matters... they both fucking suck! I dread my weekly grocery shopping experience. It's almost not worth the money I save there. But I'm poor, white trash so I have no choice. You'd think by me being poor, white trash I should fit snuggly into the Wal*Mart scene, but I'm a non-conforming piece of American shit! I have to get stoned before I can even step foot in the place. Otherwise I'd have no patience to deal with: <the dumbasses who leave their carts out in the middle of the isle <the old people walking slow <the welfare bitch with 40 kids <the people who have 30 items in the 5 items or less lane <the scary-ass pervert guys who look at me like they've just served a long, hard prison sentence Of course, I never go there anytime before midnight, so I stand in line for 45 goddamn minutes or longer. Which is an excellent oppurtunity for me to try sending telepathic, bolts of pain to the back of the person's head in front of me. Try it sometime. By the time I get out of the fucking place, I've forgotten where I've parked and take the buggy (always the one with the broken wheel) on a "joyride" around the parking lot, looking aimlessly for my car. Of course when I find it, it has a fucking shopping cart slammed against it from some asshole who didn't put their cart away. Oh yeah, I hate Wal*Mart too. If I ever decide to go on a killing spree, you better fucking bet I'm headed to Wal*Mart! Once I've finished killing everyone and their brother in the store, I'm going to dig Sam Walton's old, rotted, corpse up and shoot him too!
Shit! That sucked. It cut out what I don't have the patience to deal with! the people who leave their carts in the middle of the isle the welfare bitch and her 40 kids the people with 30 fucking items in the 5 items or less express lane the scary-ass perverts who look at me like they just served a long, hard prison sentence By the way, have you ever noticed that Wal*Mart hires a lot of retarded people? Do they have some kind of deal with Jerry's Kids or something?!?
"...sending telepathic, bolts of pain to the back of the person's head in front of me..." yes i do that too,but cant quite get a result.the bastards just stand there looking as contentedly docile and vacant as before.i would feel happier if they suddenly bent double gripping their heads and emitting a shrill high pitched scream.instead i have to make do with accidentally ramming the shopping trolley into the back of their ankles to elicit a response.i feel i am doing them a favour,dishing them something unarguabley real to cut through their dulled inert mode,even if only for a moment.you see? i am in fact CORRECTING them.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous: I have to get stoned before I can even step foot in the place.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> yeah ... i used to do that... had to stop it tho... used to get the munchies while looking for the stuff on my grocery list and end up with half a trolley full of sweets and snacks....
It's definetly not good to go grocery shopping when you're high.I've made that mistake a few times and went a litle over my budget. Now I hate wal-mart as much as the next person,but I've found a pretty frustration-proof way of avoiding all those damn people. Go at about 4 in the morning. The only people in there are the graveyard shifters and kids tripping on acid and/or drunk and high. It's pretty comical not to mention a lot easier to deal with.
I like to stand in front of wal-mart in nothong but a leather g-string and yell "THERE ARE NO TIME OUTS IN THE WORLD OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING YOU ASSHOLES!!!!" Just as a service, wen the cops show up I claim to be doing Community Service and my probation officer will be very angry if I dont get my 50 hours completed. They shrug and ussually leave.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey: "...sending telepathic, bolts of pain to the back of the person's head in front of me..." yes i do that too,but cant quite get a result.the bastards just stand there looking as contentedly docile and vacant as before.i would feel happier if they suddenly bent double gripping their heads and emitting a shrill high pitched scream.instead i have to make do with accidentally ramming the shopping trolley into the back of their ankles to elicit a response.i feel i am doing them a favour,dishing them something unarguabley real to cut through their dulled inert mode,even if only for a moment.you see? i am in fact CORRECTING them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> i love you nursey.. you make me squirt.. will you marry me and do all my shopping for me... i bet you're great at shopping.. i'm shit... just browse and buy shit and forget to get thing i went for in first place.. if you marry me and do my shopping i'll let you correct me too.. you might not have a lotta success.. but it'll be fun trying!!
i kind of like walmart. its open 24-7 and late at night or early in the morning, my fam and i go over just to fuck around. we think of it as a really big indoor playground. (we also go over to shop, too) my baby bro and i hang out in the toys dept. and start crying and throwing fits like little kids asking mom for a backstreet boys toy or a britney spears doll. we mimic the other little brats and the little kids shut up and people passing by stare at us funny. in the clothing dept. we run after each other playing hide and go seek. we get in the carts and push each other or have races with them. no one tells us anything. i guess its because we havent broken anything...yet. ooh, one time we were wrestling and hitting each other in the aisles, we were bitch-slapping each other so hard that it made alot of noise and our faces were really red. i had my bro's handprint across my face and arm. people stared at us and guys were giving my bro ugly looks like they wanted to kick his ass-probably because he was hitting a gurl. it was fun
I'll be the first to admit that I have had fun in the Wal*Mart toys department. I remember one time, they were selling these boy and girl babydolls (the fugliest dolls ever) and they had them just laying all over the bottom counter. My friend and I spent a good half-hour arranging ever single doll in a leud position. Toys R Us kicks Wal*Mart's ass when it comes to fucking around with toys though. The same friend and I went there, and we had Mickey reaming Bambi, Bert 69'n Ernie, and Barney packin' a piece. This is also where I made a work of art in my humble (or maybe not-so-humble) opinion. It was titled, "The American Family" until some tasteless employee moved it back. *sigh* It was a touching piece. It still brings a tear to my eye. Anyway, I had the mother and father on the balcony.(I had no choice. their fucking feet were nailed to it) The mother was throwing the baby off of the balcony. (she was holding it in her arms originally... all I had to do was "gently" twist it free and let it dangle from the piece of plastic) The father was holding the mother's dress up with one hand and was smacking her ass with the other. Of course, to the untrained eye it may have just looked like he was copping a feel. Oh well... why am I typing this again?
