<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Bitchslap: You'll wish me dead.[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Dead is a bit harsh, blood dripping from the spoons embedded in your ears will suffice.
I take it someone isn't a big fan of Asian-made cars? (I think there was an Asian woman stuck underneath the hood).
Big fart pipe make car go fassa! It's not that I have a problem with rice-burners, it's when people spend more money than the car's worth on body kits, carbon-fiber hoods, and exhaust pipe extensions than the car's worth... Every Friday night at the Wal-Mart is rice night, where every asshole with a coffee can stuck to the end of thier exhaust pipe converges to show off thier glorified cuisinart-powered rice steamers. Occasionally they race each other on the access road of the freeway, and they always scatter like anthrax in a ventilation shaft when the cops show up. The whole ordeal is quite entertaining, much like wrestling. They look so serious when they're talking about thier go-karts... it's downright hillarious. Here's a list of standard equipment on one of these cars... <UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>blue back-up lights (adds 5 hp to reverse gear) <LI>Toyota Supra spoilers on everything but a Toyota Supra (increases drag on rear of a front-wheel-drive car) <LI>non-functional air intakes (+ 10hp) <LI>20" rims with 1" tall tires on a car that originally came with 13" wheels (better handling) <LI>"Type R" stickers on anything made by Honduh (+ 5hp) <LI>standard exhaust pipe coming out of muffler, extra-wide tip attached (+ 20hp) <LI>camber kit installed so that front wheels are tilted 20 degrees inward (better cornering) <LI>unpainted carbon-fiber hood (- 5 lbs of weight) [/list] As you can tell, these machines are a farce to be reckoned with...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Bitchslap: It's not that I have a problem with rice-burners, it's when people spend more money than the car's worth on body kits, carbon-fiber hoods, and exhaust pipe extensions than the car's worth...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...minus the italicized part. Gimme a break, I'm in class.
Hey! That not funny! I take pride in car, make look better than average Civic... You all just jealous you not have cool racing sticker on each windows.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Rev: {Extremely accurate description of main automotive totem of whigger culture/religion omitted for brevity but referenced in passing with complete affirmation}<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Couldn't have said it better myself. Brings to mind my last encounter with one of these Speed Racers-on-a-Budget. Was departing the nearest burg heading home and on a highway that after the last traffic light runs straight for about a mile and a half before the two lanes merge into one briefly to curve around and join up with another, more 'main' highway (in the manner of an interstate onramp). This segment is a popular spot where genetically competitive drivers vy for pole position by the time the left lane disappears, because it's an entire quarter mile before joining up with the 3 lanes of the other route. So I'm in the line of traffic in the right lane approaching the merge & we're all poking along at the customary 60-in-a-45mph zone as usual. I see distant in my side mirror the usual couple of impatient suspects moving up the left lane. The first one dropped into line after passing the "Lane Ends 1/4 mi" sign. The second one squeezed in after the "Lane Ends 1500 Ft" one. That's when Contestant #3 - some blacked-out, pocket-rocket riceburner - makes his move and accelerates with a thunder and roar from his mighty 4 cylinders (sounds sorta like an upright vacuum cleaner when it snags a piece of string). Apparently, Boy Racer was expecting another helpful warning sign - which if it existed, would have read "The Lane You've Been Informed Was Gonna Disappear HAS Now Indeed Disappeared - You Are Now on the Hard Shoulder, You Fucking Dumbass". His nerve broke momentarily, and his momentum carried him almost even with me and I saw the driver for the first time as we looked at each other - he was no garden-variety white-bread whigger poseur, but a True Ebony Bruddah of da Muddahland. We held this brief telepathic conversation: He: 'Yo, foo'-caintchoo see I be trying to pass you?!?' Me: 'Yes, I see that - but why are you presuming I should give a shit?' He: 'So you gon' stomp on yo brakes and let me in or you gon' keep doin' whatchoo doin and make mah left wheels touch gravel and spin me out into da cement wall?!?' Me: 'I think you'll find out what a moot question is in about 1 sec, bro' Homie played it safe and dropped back in behind me, whereupon he expressed his displeasure over my rude refusal to accommodate his stupidity by tailgating me the rest of the way onto the main highway, where he stuck despite the reappearance of 2 other lanes as well as my tapping the brakes in fair warning. So I educated him on the subject of safe following distance - or as I like to think of it, Why One Shouldn't Tailgate Emetic: Protocol for Slow Learners. The method is to slightly let up on the throttle while simultaneously cranking on the hand break, then releasing the hand brake while simultaneously stabbing the foot break with the left foot (keeping throttle steady with the right). Coordinated properly, the effect is: an initial slight decrease in speed without visible warning (the handbrake doesn't signal the rear brake lights) which draws the offender a bit nearer...quickly followed by the aspect of a hard emergency stop (brake lights, rear end jacking up) without a critical loss of speed. Homie rewarded me with the gratifying song of an all-4-wheels-locked-in-a-panic-brake screech (betcha he finds a way to afford anti-lock brakes next time). My laughter had subsided but I was still smiling by the time he changed lanes and zoomed by at full throttle, shooting me a non-loving glance coupled with an apparently proud gesture indicating his IQ. He probably intended to disappear quickly into the distance in a show of velocitous disdain - unfortunately he was hampered by the next series of red lights. Ahh, kids...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AzN NvAzN: I take pride in car, make look better than average Civic... You all just jealous you not have cool racing sticker on each windows.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So you've got one of those stylin' rides that feature a windshield-wide banner emblazoned with HONDA in 12-inch-tall letters? Been meaning to find out what that's for: is it so that cops down the road can get a headstart with filling out your ticket?
I love that maneuver... I almost want to mount a button on my steering wheel that automatically turns my brake lights on for that sole purpose... Another project I'd love to do is run all my outside lights through a switch, so that if the switch is off, the brake, headlights, backup lights, turn signals, etc. are all turned off... (would come in REAL handy while ditching cops)
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Reverend Bitchslap: ...run all my outside lights through a switch, so that...lights... are all turned off...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As well as a hinged, servo-motored mount for the rear plate that flips it down out of sight. Hell, even better and more geeky: an LCD plate cover that turns opaque on demand. Aside from paying a mechanic to rewire things properly, I imagine a cheap & easy - although not especially elegant - solution would be to insert a number of paired wire leads along with the normal fuses into the appropriate fuse sockets handling illumination, and gang each side of the pairs to the respective leads of a single master switch mounted nearby under the dash which shorts them all on demand. Take care not to include any circuits which also carry juice for other essential components. Inadvertently killing the fuel pump in the middle of a strategic fishtailing turn can only lead to disappointment.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic: As well as a hinged, servo-motored mount for the rear plate that flips it down out of sight. Hell, even better and more geeky: an LCD plate cover that turns opaque on demand. Aside from paying a mechanic to rewire things properly, I imagine a cheap & easy - although not especially elegant - solution would be to insert a number of paired wire leads along with the normal fuses into the appropriate fuse sockets handling illumination, and gang each side of the pairs to the respective leads of a single master switch mounted nearby under the dash which shorts them all on demand. Take care not to include any circuits which also carry juice for other essential components. Inadvertently killing the fuel pump in the middle of a strategic fishtailing turn can only lead to disappointment.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shit... you and I oughta start up a business...
Said by Emetic.. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote Whaddya know, Emetic...you may very well had a little brush with fame.
Now that I know that 'Rice Cooker' means 'hotted up car' it makes a little more sense. But do tell me what pokemon has got to do with it?
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger: Now that I know that 'Rice Cooker' means 'hotted up car' it makes a little more sense. But do tell me what pokemon has got to do with it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> They just had to add some Jap crap to the clip, I imagine...
