Adolf Hitler was walking towards the pearly gates of heaven where saint Peter stood before him "name please" "Adolf Hitler" Jesus then stepped up and told peter he would handle this. "Your not welcome here Adolf" "if you let me in i'll give you the iron cross, the highest medal of honour in all of Germany" Jesus went to see god about the matter "but dad, he said he'd give me an iron cross, the highest medal of honour in all of germany" "what the fuck will you do with that??? you couldnt even carry that shitty wooden one!" =========================================== what do you say to a chick with no arms and no legs ? nice tits.... =========================================== Two little boys were comparing thier lists of stuff they got for christmas, the first boy says, "I got a new playstation, 6 games, a bike, a super soaker 10 million, loads of action man stuff and a new stereo, what about you?" "well, I got a new baseball bat and glove" "geez, sounds like a lean intake" "yeah, but I dont have lukemia..." =========================================== whats blue and fucks grandmothers ? hypo thermia ============================================= a bunch of kids went to see if mark was coming out to play war with them, when marks mother heard this she said "Now boys you know mark has no legs and no arms !!!!!" "yeah, we need an extra sandbag!" ============================================= a man was crawling for days through a desert untill he found a church, he sprinted in and prayed "God, God please give me some food" sure enough a chunk of meat fell at his feet. he cooked it up and ate it and returned 2 hours later, same thing happened, this continued a few times untill a hand fell from the sky... he looked up and saw a leper painting the cieling ===================================== a leper walks into a bar and sits down. the bartender looks up and pukes everywhere the leper says "hey man, I know im not mr. Handsome but ive got feelings too y'know" the bartender says"sorry man, it wasn't you, its that guy dipping his crackers in the back of your neck ============================================
