"Fringe Benefits"

Discussion in 'More Serious Topics' started by Lomotil, Jan 21, 2011.

  1. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    I've come to the realization that desirable Biology careers aren't just falling out of the sky these days, and despite my reluctance to go out and find just another 'job' - cabin fever is setting in, and it'd be nice to have some disposable income rolling in every other week again.

    So, the question is... Where to work, based on the quality/quantity of fringe benefits that only an employee is entitled to?

    Thoughts so far include Best Buy (I understand the employee discount is incredible,) Hobby Lobby (you wouldn't believe how many hot MILFs shop there,) head shop (think: "networking,") Academy (the sporting goods store - again, employee discount + some sweet gun hookups,) or Sears/Lowes/Home Depot (tool hookup?)

    Anyone have any experience(s) with said places, or other suggestions on places to work with some sweet benefits attached?
     
  2. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    Um... Anyone?
     
  3. BullGod666

    BullGod666 Member

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    903
    Good Pay and Benefits? Get a government job, civilian working for any of the armed services pay pretty well. Any airports nearby, TSA is always looking for good hands errrrr good men.
     
  4. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    Now that would be a benefit for the fringe allright.


    Been too busy lately Lomo. On my phone rt now. I'll try to come up with something
     
  5. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    Someone suggested teaching at a local community college, apparently you can take courses there for free if you teach. Don't know how much fun it would be to spend half of my free time grading papers and the other half studying, though. Never cared much for studying, anyway - it always cut into my drinking time.

    Gives new meaning to the term 'career student.'

    With TSA, I'm thinking it'd be a lot like working at a nudist camp, more 'bad' than 'good.' I can picture myself in the middle of the shift thinking, "This isn't what they had in the brochure..." :confused:
     
  6. Aballister

    Aballister New Member

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    595
    I just purchased a fur-trimmed purple velvet hat, and I'm just itching to try my hand at pimping. How 'bout it? You keep 25% of the money you collect sucking dicks, and I won't beat the shit out of you. Sorry, I meant I won't "discipline" you too harshly.

    As for benefits, you get a shit load of free crack and all the STDs you could possibly want.

    Alright, that settles it. I'll go buy a fur coat and a golden butterfly knife.



    I keeps it real...


     
  7. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    Yu be racist like a mofo,!!!!!!!!!
     
  8. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    A job at a gym would be cool like "The Situation" hey the guy might be an ass but WTH he gets strange in a regular basis.

    Any CEO job will do or just to be on the board of directors. You can sell your stock before running the company in the dirt then buy twice as many shares for cheap and cook the books the next qtr to double your money.

    You could sell Mary Kay cosmetics if they do not hire you then just sue them for gender discrimination. If your sales are good you get a Caddy out of the deal and meet all sorts of MILFs.
     
  9. Aballister

    Aballister New Member

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    595
    Funny you saying that. I just had a management accounting class on unethical short-term income boosting. The kind that earns you a bonus and leaves a trail of destruction behind. If you feel like having a boring read I could tell you all about it. :biggrin:
     
  10. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    They would stop that shit if the small time investors that got screwed were allowed to line up and each get a turn at beating the crooks silly with a wiffle ball bat.
     
  11. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    Seriously though if you could manage to get on at the State Parks that would be an awesome job.
     
  12. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    State Parks sounds like a viable option, provided relocation isn't an issue. Hell, I think it'd be a perfect fit.

    But where is the fringe? That's what I'm looking for here... State Park is more in the 'career' field, from what I'm thinking... Not throwing that out, but I'm really looking for something to do for a year or so while maintaining my hunt for an actual professional career...
     
  13. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    Yeah I hear that. The most enjoyable job I ever had was working for the Army Corp of engineers in one of their parks. It was a second job and at the time I was also doing side jobs to earn anything I could. Landscaping, mowing, demolition cleanup and removal.

    M-F at 4:30 my day started and I maintained one park including all the shit work involved such as emptying the trash bins, repair and such. It was on the lake and I got to see the sun rise, had all the peace and quite I needed.

    It was like therapy.

    The pay was 6.00 per hour for what was considered a four hour a day job. If you finished in two well then fine. You had to pay a penalty though for any discrepancies missed if they inspected. Shitty pay but fulfilling work. That was nearly 20 years ago back in 92.

    http://www.guadalupe.mountains.natio...k.com/jobs.htm

    http://www.nps.gov/personnel/permanent.htm

    http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/business...page=locations

    I bet a lot of State Park positions pay 40k or more and are in an area where the cost of living is minimal.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2011
  14. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    Being able to see a morning sunrise is a beautiful thing, for sure, but with me the typical response to that is, "Aaaaaw, FUCK! Is it that late already? Dammit, and I still have three beers to go..." (or any similar situation.)

    For me, the greatest beauty of seeing the sun rise is the knowledge that the hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant is about to open, and I can go get some Carne Guisada tacos with extra salsa verde from a business that closes before I typically wake up.
     
  15. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    Ah ha! There is another fringe benefit. You can pretty much get away with drinking on the job. So long as you are one of those type drinkers that can manage to drink responsibly and not be obvious.
     
  16. Salamander

    Salamander New Member

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    63
    Maybe a job teaching Night School to pregnant teens. That way you cant get them preggers, again.
     
  17. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    @Joe: Drinking on the job has never been a problem for me, I typically would drink after work (despite testimonials to the contrary, and even then, it was very limited..) To me, a job that doesn't mind drinking would more or less fall in line with my involvement with the local comedy group, and our monthly shows (we've now got an 'encore' slot, so make that two shows a month...)

    Don't get me wrong, in the first couple stages of drinking I'm probably more productive than when I'm sober. The whole 4AM thing kinda grabs me by the scroat and says, "no way..."

    @Sally: Night school wouldn't be so bad, actually... And, if the chick is too far into whatever trimester, she can just lay on her side after she blows me... Not a bad suggestion, really. So, when's your wife due, again? ;-)
     
  18. Salamander

    Salamander New Member

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    63
    She better not be due, again. :)

    If it comes out looking like Kevin Smith I know where I'm heading....
     
  19. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    ...Disneyland? ;)
     
  20. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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