It would appear that our dear chum Barry is now deceased. To help us all through this harrowing ordeal, i've decided to start this thread, where all who felt their lives were in some way specially touched (with or without consent) by the big, balding, bigoted, Alabama butt-bead *dabs small tear from eye* can let go and freely express their feelings, in whatever form they take. Barry loved poetry, so it seems apt that i should start the obituarys with this little verse i wrote whilst in the grips of a particularly dark and mournful moment. My ass is gaping There's a hole in the world where my bead used to be A hole that resonates to the frequency 'BAH-REE' The man, the muse the right-tard ranger Initially, a faceless stranger Eventually, as time did pass 'The man that lived inside my ass'. And all that posted in this forum Knew that the correct decorum When wishing to insert in him A mighty log or bowling pin Was to request from me, his host A nod, a wink, an 'on you go!' And like a great big thunder clap I'd fart that fucker out my ass. But now he's gone, my ass is gaping So much hate, replaced with aching Who could know that he'd become The sturdy rock that filled my bum The turd that just would not be lodged A constant in a fast-paced world. The walls, they now are falling in Expect great bouts of flatulence But do not gag or hold your breath Instead, breathe deep and hold it in For that's the gap, the very place Where my butt bead would spend his days. Goodbye Barrehhh. (Nov 2004-March 2005)
That was beautiful Nursey. What was the cause of death, if you don't mind me asking, of course if your not too choked up about it talk, I understand, the grieving process takes time. But when you ready, I would like to know funeral arangements etc. Thanks.
In honor of his passing I am asking for a moment of silence and reflection as you read his lastre post in the world of fugly.
That was incredibley moving Dan. Thankyou. I might have that post embroidered into a handkerchief. This has all been unbearabley difficult, but i feel i should 'share the pain', just as Barry's favourite website proclaims. Well, as you are probably all aware, one of Barry's problems was to be randomly prone to deviant behaviour. Usually he would just sit, blissfully immobilised deep in my rectal chamber whiling away the hours gurgling perfectly contentedly. But about 4 days ago, i was out in the garden squatting and doing my ki-gung sphincter clenching excercises when an ice cream vans music could be heard as it parked across the main road. At that moment, i felt a searing pain as Barry suddenly bolted without any warning out from his safe, dark comfortable hidey hole straight out onto the busy road without even looking (he loved ice cream). A large thud was heard, and as i ran round to see what had happened, a small group of passers by had gathered around him, some of whom were lasciviously fondling and caressing him, and who seemed to be in the initial stages of arranging a circle jerk! In disgust, i pushed them aside and proceeded to bundle his still-breathing but otherwise pretty lifeless bloody mass back into the safety of my ass. For days i have been periodically resuscitating him by filling my cavity with air and exerting pressure in order to create a bellows type effect. Vital signs seemed to be responding favourably to the treatment, but alas, when i got up this morning and went to shit him out in order to check his blood pressure, it became apparent that something was not right. It was extremely difficult to expel him due to the fact that all his muscle tension had gone, my sphinctural contractions had only a soggy, pliable mush to push against. Eventually i succeeded, and discovered that he must have improved enough in the night to start feeding again, and had gorged himself on such a large quantity of my faecal sludgeas to have caused him to regurgitate and choke on what was to be his last meal, and being too weak from massive bruising to cough the matter back out. Immediately i attempted to suck the matter out from his lungs by placing my rectum over his mouth and using a chi-gung exercise to create the necessary vacuum, but alas it was too late. I have had Barry respectfully shrink-wrapped in order to gaurantee freshness on delivery to his tortured family, who i will leave to do with his poor, startled looking remains as they see fit. But an online funeral could be arranged for those who wish to attend, using a symbolic representation of the man who loved to sidle up and touch us all in a tender place. Oh fuck...*bursts into floods of tears and has to leave thread*
Poor Nursey. Poor Barry. I shall get my boyfriend to do a 10 gun salute out of his arse in respect for dear Bazza. He will be happily missed and at least now I know my vagina is safe from his repeated touchings.
I think the worst part for me, is the fact Barreh, will never live to grow a healthy, robust, monument of a moustache to Dickie Davis in the Offical Dickie Davis Moustache Growing Contest, Starting April 1st :lol:
To run, or not to run, -- that is the quandry; Whether 'tis nobler in the head to suffer The slings and buttcheeks of slimy fortune, Or to take herpes against a sea of warts, And by bleeding end them. To die, -- to skip, -- No more; and by a skip to say we end The heart and the 400 natural shocks That flesh is counselor to,-- 'tis a shit slowly to be wish'd. To die, --- to skip,-- To skip! perchance to die! ay, there's the blood; For in that skip of death what guts may come When we have blew off this greasy coil, Must give us hair....
That was nice Nauseous, thanks. And might i just add that we are all very fortunate to have Nauseous around at a time like this, she always seems to be...in her element where death of any sort is concerned. :|
I read in another forum that Barry quit posting here because the grant money that paid for his cyber cop activities ran out. You all did know that he was really an under cover cop phishing for pedophiles and drug dealers didn't you? Hops on down the bunny trail.....
Fuck didn't like him anyway. But, to satisfy the popular demand for his presence here I promise to give him some more pointers on raising his kids if he comes back and the mood catches me right.
OH REALLY! What kind of nonsense is this!?!! Barry the FBI agent is in no way 'posting at another forum'. This reminds me of the sightings of Elvis or Princess Diana after they died. Mind you, sometimes it's the only way people can cope with their pain, to make stuff up. You know, even i could have sworn that for just a moment last night i saw the name 'ucicare' flashing up on the 'who's online' part of the forum. Grief can play terrible tricks on the mind.
This is a wonderful idea Reiz. If there was any way you could record that and convert to wav format we could have it played at Barry's online funeral. I think everybody would appreciate such a gesture.
Barry will live on in all of us..and doubtless some poser pretending to be him and posting just like him will come on and make us mad in our grief..I predict it!
Ugh god...yes i'm sure that is probably correct. There will be all sorts of depraved, twisted animals all vying to take his place, to slimingly slip into his slot, and i bet DYKEVET will be the first to spot them having been surrounded with such characters throughout her working life in the U.S army. Anyway, i am too busy finalising the online funeral ( which will be available for your viewing and grieving pleasures very soon from now ) to be wasting my time worrying about such hateful filth. Also, i should mention that we should offer our prayers to Mia who has been affected by this tragedy more than any of us here, even me who lost a valuable anal hygiene regime when the lights were snuffed out on Barry. She viewed him as a type of father figure whom she could open right up to, even going so far as to send him pictures of those famous 30F tits.
