For the Gurls

THE WHY'S OF MEN
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop for directions)

4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

5. WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS? (because they don't have penises to put them in)

6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON? (they're intended for children but men usually end up playing with them)

7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)

8. WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE? (it is sex with someone they love)

9. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

10.WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

11.WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE? (so he can tell if he's coming or going)

12.HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (nobody knows, since it has never happened)

13. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. (Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument)

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. (Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No it isn't!

 

shut up, bitch

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
shut up, bitch<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Kiss my ass, virgin whore.

 

dont fuck with me, lomo, i will cut off your balls

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
shut up, bitch<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lomotil:
Kiss my ass, virgin whore.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
dont fuck with me, lomo, i will cut off your balls<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Ah... "This ain't the garden of eden...
There ain't no angels above...
And things ain't like what they used to be...
And this ain't the summer of love..."

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by American Sociopath:
what does a battered wife do after she gets out of the battered womans clinic?

The dishes if she knows what the fuck is good for her<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No. she comes to me so that i can cut off her husband's dick and kill him.

 

what does a battered wife do after she gets out of the battered womans clinic?


The dishes if she knows what the fuck is good for her

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 666kitana999:
No. she comes to me so that i can cut off her husband's dick and kill him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
OH! *GROAN*
You fucking suck at everything you do! Please don't try to be funny anymore, I can't take the sheer lameness of it all!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I_ate_Tom_Brokaw:

 

nauseous said you are the forum queen because you don't take any of this seriously...

so what is it

serious or not??

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
nauseous said you are the forum queen because you don't take any of this seriously...

so what is it

serious or not??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Its a secret

 

god you are such a fucking retard

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by American Sociopath:
god you are such a fucking retard<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

just a little bit

 

Yanno, we of different sexes shouldn't battle. I mean, you girls need dick to get off.... and we need pussy. So why are we all fighting? Let's just start one big orgy where everyone just gets together and gives the other what we really need. A GOOD FUCK!! Who's with me on this?

 

I am if you brng some for year old pre-school prostitutes

 

i am with you, cheezy...i wont fuck, i will just video tape for fugly porn

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
...you girls need dick to get off.... and we need pussy. So why are we all fighting?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ah, it's not quite that simple. Women don't need dick to get off - all they need is any oblong, cylindrical object. What they really need and want are The Goodies: the clothes, the jewelry, the house with flowerboxes in the window and Martha Stewart bedroom collections, flocking on the walls, the minivan stuffed with runny-nosed rugrats, etc.

Now, men do indeed need and want pussy, and in pursuit of it they'll beg, borrow and steal to deliver The Goodies to the woman, who only reluctantly gives up the nookie to consummate the deal...as long as the man posts bond in the form of a ring.

If I'm wrong, then explain the existence of prenup agreements, and the need for divorce law.

I don't mean to sound cynical on this subject - I'm just a bit jealous of the woman's natural advantage in the whole scheme of things: they have half the money in the world, and all the pussy.

That reminds me - if I'm gonna have some sex tonight like I planned, I better get a move on...

 

all straight sexually active woman will do anything for good sex from a nice cock... sure.. they marry for money... but more often than not once they have the cash they'll go off in search of a decent fuck..

 

I have to agree with emetic this tme. even a big fat slob like me usedto get laid constantly when I sold coke and had tons of cash. Now I try to keep from going back to prision girls wont even talk to me. and the Martha Stewart refrence reminded me about IHN. He has an unhealthy martha stewart fetish. He has sent her emails before inviting her over when his wife was out of town. its a little creepy.