FOR SALE.. NINETEEN SLIGHTLY WET MAN UTD SEASON TICKETS. CONTACT MORCAMBE BAY LIGHTHOUSE WITH OFFERS FOR SALE: SHOES OFFER 19 PAIRS OF CHINESE WINKLE PICKERS(non water resistant)
police in morcambe found a chinese cockle picker wearing a shell suit sqaushed under a rock,at first they thought it was a CRUSHED ASIAN.
ok i know they speak english in england, but that doesnt matter here. the jokes could have been in greek and made more sense
EXCLUSIVE: Crime boss runs empire from jail cell Is this Mr Big behind cockle deaths? By Neville Thurlbeck THIS is the Mr Big whose brutal crime syndicate is blamed for the deaths of 19 Chinese cockle pickers. Zhang Yong Hui, 35, has made £11million from people-smuggling—and now runs his empire from a jail cell. The boss of a feared Chinese Snakehead network is believed to have smuggled 700 countrymen and women into Britain, then subjected them to a brutal regime of slavery. Last night a Chinese cockle worker— who left the sands before the tide rushed in and drowned the pickers— said all the victims were working for the Snakeheads. Too terrified to reveal his name, he said through a translator: "My gang was picking on the other side of Morecambe Bay. "We are all working for the same organisation—the Snakeheads. They are the ones who were in control of the people who died. Desperate "This is terrifying and tragic. I am shocked and numb. But despite that we will all have to work tomorrow." Sources say the asylum seekers— working for as little as £1 for nine hours—would have been forced on to the treacherous sands of the Lancashire coastline. To refuse the brutal gangmasters would mean Snakehead henchmen smashing their kneecaps or attacking them with chains. Hui, jailed for seven years at the Old Bailey last October, has specialised in promising desperate Chinese people asylum. But once the victims are in the UK they are imprisoned and brutalised. Their families back home are also blackmailed, despite paying at least £15,000 for the person to be smuggled. The trail of misery leads from China to the Middle East, and then through Africa or France to Britain. The Snakeheads were behind the deaths of 58 Chinese found suffocated in the back of a lorry at Dover in 2000. Hui was finally nailed when an illegal immigrant arrived at Gatwick airport after paying Snakehead smugglers a £1,000 deposit. The man was detained by immigration for 24 hours and released. But Hui's gang took the 25-year-old to a house in Tottenham, north London, and battered him so severely he suffered a collapsed lung. His family in south China were forced to a pay a £15,000 ransom, but his brother who lived in London shopped Hui to cops. The gangster is one of two of the syndicate's more feared bosses in Europe. The other is a woman, Jing Ping Chen. Better known as Sister Ping, she is just 5ft tall and quietly spoken. Ping, 37, is also in jail, serving three years in Holland for people-trafficking. But the pair have an army of enforcers to run their ruthless organisation while they are banged up. Her boyfriend is head of Triads in Rotterdam—and her cruelty is legendary. A typical punishment would be the one meted out to a man who had his teeth smashed in by a gun barrel forced into his mouth. When a rival mobster tried to muscle in on Ping's territory, she invited him to her HQ, the Orient diner in Rotterdam's Chinatown. Powerful As soon as he was inside, the crook was beaten with a hammer and shot in both legs. A National Criminal Intelligence source said: "These two gang leaders are the main players in the Snakehead empire. "They are its creators and they continue to shape its future. Even though they are behind bars, they are just as powerful." The cockle picker who was working on the other side of the bay just before Thursday's tragedy revealed more brutality. He said he works as a virtual slave—and is threatened that his family in China will be killed unless he complies. Literally shaking with fear, he said: "I am completely trapped by them. "I have to give all my money to the gangs. I am left with about £20 a week. There is no escape." The illegal lives in squalor in Liverpool after arriving in Britain six months ago. His journey took three months, ending when he was smuggled through Dover. He added: "This tragedy has really scared me—it could have been me. I can't think what the families of the victims are going through back home. Many will never find out what happened to their sons." Police were yesterday still interviewing the 16 rescued survivors as detectives confirmed they were investigating links to Snakeheads and Triads. Det Superintendent Mick Gradwell said he expected arrests "within days" if the tragedy was the result of any crime. He added: "I have a large number of names of people who are gang masters. And we are narrowing that list down. "As you can imagine this will be a mammoth and difficult task and to this end we are seeking help from various organisations. We have a number of leads. Vulnerable people are being used to work physically hard for about one pound for a full nine-hour shift. It is appalling." Inquiries were switching to Merseryside last night. Cops were also faced with trying to establish the correct identities of all the victims. A delegation from the Chinese consulate was at Lancashire police HQ yesterday helping out. The cockle industry in Morecambe is worth at least £5million, with 8,000 tons of the seafood buried in the bay. Shifting But the spot, with 120 square miles of shifting sands and swirling currents, is one of the most dangerous in Britain. The 17 Chinese men and two women were among 35 trapped two miles offshore. The survivors scrambled ashore or were picked up by rescue crews. Last night a senior member of Britain's Chinese community said ALL asylum seekers from his country should be "deported on sight". Thomas Chan, a director of the Chinese in Britain Forum, said: "If we acted like other EU countries and turned them round right away, it would act as a deterrent."
They should be fucking grateful the law-breaking wankers.... Hopefully this will see a downturn in the amount of chinese restaurants that are appearing lately.
That's a messed up story pip, but what I think they said they didn't understand was the crushed asian/crustacian pun.
yet more chinese winklepicker jokes! :x They were told to wait until the water was knee high....only problem was Nee Hi was sitting in the van. One of them called his mum on his mobile, his mum asked where he was ringing from, he replied "from the neck down". Morecambe Coast guard have decided to tighten up their coastal defences after a couple of chinks were found in the harbour wall. Why can you never get served in a Morecambe Chinese restaurant.......they're waiting for their staff to wash up. :x
These are all great puns, except for the fact that a lot of the humor is lost on me seeing as I've never heard of morecambe, and have absolutely no clue where it is...please enlighten me.
